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Girlfriends... They'll surprise ya. (or The Postscript of Ultimate Win)


So, for the last three and a half years, I've been seeing this amazing girl who has geek qualities too numerous to list. But, I've never been able to really get her into video games in any kind of a real way (and the two months that she spent on Animal Crossing: Wild World really don't count).

Apparently, she was known to do up a bit of gaming during her college years, but all of that is long gone. I've never known her to just jump on a game since I've known her. Any time that I've ever played games in front of her, she'll just pull out a book. And the DS Lite we got her for Christmas last year became little more than a paperweight after she got halfway through Phoenix Wright. She never put any time into Maniac Mansion after I put it onto the computer I bought her. Nor has she been too excited to play Wind Waker after I hooked her up with my Gamecube and walked her through the first dungeon.

But last week...

It went like something like this: we were killing some time this past weekend before going to see her little brother play the lead in a college production of Cannibal: The Musical. And always trying to find ways to bridge the the gaming gap in her, I tossed Capcom's Quiz & Dragons into the MAME hooked into my video projector and tossed her a controller. I figure she loves Trivial Pursuit and the like, she'll dig on this. But she's not loving it, but sticks with it. Mythology question comes up and the answer is Chronos. Which she nails as she's a Geek Goddess. And this is where it gets good...

In word association mode, I say "Captain Chronos: Vampire Hunter" (awesome Hammer horror film). In response, she says, "Chrono... Trigger." I don't think anything of it. I assume that I must've mentioned that since I got my 1080p projector hooked up and my computer hooked up into that, my main goal has been to finally play up some ChronoTrigger for the first time in my life. I mean, how else would she even have that as past of her lexicon, right?

Later that night, I realize that I have not mentioned Chrono Trigger to her at all. SO, I ask her about how she had heard about the king of all retro RPGs (and probably of all RPGs in general). "Well," she tells me. "I played that game a few years ago." And more, "I played that game so much, that once in the dorms I could hear someone playing it in another room and totally knew what it was from the music alone."

I just totally got served by my "not-a-gamer" girlfriend. Here I think that I'm the biggest retro gamer that I've ever met, but now that I think about it, my roommate has played ChronoTrigger, my little brother who was an infant during the SNES years (and is now in Medical School) has played it. And now, my non-gaming girlfriend has played it. "Do you ever get that not-so-fresh feeling?" Turns out that she is in fact cooler than me (not that it was ever up for debate).

The Postscript of Ultimate Win to this story, is that now I'm going to start the game over and play it with her.

Could this end up being the ultimate gaming bonding experience that I've long hoped for? Stay tuned.
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About Haxanone of us since 11:13 AM on 10.23.2007

Occasional contributer to Tomopop.com.

Random gaming facts about Haxan

Legitimately beat Mike Tyson and went through Another World Circuit undefeated.

Beat the original Contra without dying. Twice.

Can land the damn plane in Top Gun and can also refuel in midair.

Can't beat Ghost & Goblins without the level select code and has never lied about it.

Thinks Friday the 13th is a great game even if the physics, controls and weapons are garbage.

Mario Paint caused him to buy a Super Nintendo and largely leave his Sega Genesis behind. He has played it more than most video games and wore down the mouse pad so that the grid only shows around the corners.

Has beaten Street Fighter II: The World Warrior and Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers on the SNES on the hardest difficulty without losing a single round. Multiple times.

Is still friends with the girl who worked at a local game store and sold him Street Fighter II nearly 17 years ago.

Beat Final Fantasy 2 in a weekend when he was a kid, yet can't get through a role-playing game these days if his life depended on it.

Has never beaten Final Fantasy VII.

Prefers pads to sticks.

Likes the N64 controller.

Prefers the Duke to the S-controller.

Doesn't think that Super Mario 64 is all that great.

Got an Xbox mostly for Buffy: The Vampire Slayer. And thinks it's a damn good game. Really.

Swore he would never buy a Game Boy Advanced SP, but immediately broke down once the NES edition came out. (And regarding the NES Classics series, true in-store dialogue: "Dude, are you serious?! They seriously expect people to pay 20 dollars a piece for games they can just downlo...Ooh! Zelda!")

Really liked the first Halo. (Well, there goes my dtoid cred.)

Can rock out Dynamite Rave in Dance Dance Revolution like it's nobody's business.

Played the hell out of Animal Crossing: Wild World and hid that fact from nobody.

Stomped Brad Nicholson at Street Fighter IV, but had to resort to the cheapest of tactics in order to do so. ;)

Thinks you're really, really, really smart. And pretty.

Top ten favorite games (in no particular order):

The Legend of Zelda (NES)
Mike Tyson's Punch-Out (NES)
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (N64)
Phantom 2040 (SNES)
Street Fighter II (any version)
Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence (PS2)
Final Fantasy 3/6 (SNES)
Ico (PS2)
Sin and Punishment (N64)
Picross (DS)


I love drawing, though I realize that I'm not very good. I figured early on that drawing my own header art would help my blogs stand out. Thanks to Destructoid, and to the scanner that Carollelogram got me for my birthday last year, I feel like I've developed a unique style that's distinctly my own.

Outside of games I've got a DVD collection that is exploding out of a 5'x6' shelf (over 400 titles). So suffice it to say that I love movies. I'm a huge horror fan and I host an annual Dusk Till Dawn Horror Movie Marathon nearly every October. My top ten favorite films in order are as follows:

1. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (Il Buono, il Brutto, il Cativo, 1966)
2. Night of the Living Dead (1968)
3. Seven Samurai (Shichinin no Samurai, 1954)
4. The City of Lost Children (La Cit� des enfants perdus, 1995)
5. The Apartment (1960)
6. Strings (2004)
7. Heavenly Creatures (1994)
8. The Big Lebowski (1998)
9. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)
10. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

Music-wise, my top 3 bands are The Pixies, The Velvet Underground and Radiohead. I listen to damn near every genre of music (except modern country. I yearn for the days of Hank Williams, Sr. and Tammy Wynette). Hit random on my mp3 player and you'll get everything from darkwave to hip hop to 80's synthpop. I karaoke pretty regularly. I can't sing, but I surround myself with people who can. Still, you've not experienced all there is in life until you've seen me proper butcher True by Spandau Ballet.

Then, as for the literary interests, my love lies with pulp detective novels of the thirties and forties. Raymond Chandler is simply the greatest ever. And Dashiell Hammett is just fantastic. Lately, I've been reading through Frank Herbert's Dune Chronicles at Carollelogram's recommendation. Two books in and I have to say they're astonishing.

If you do the Twitter thing, Haxan1 is my handle should you want to follow me.

Feel free to friend me to your console of choice should you ever want to play a game of Street Fighter. Just be sure to let me know that you're from Destructoid and you'll get the royal treatment.

Blogs I writed:

Virtual Console Review- The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Review- Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop

Front Page
Other Worlds Than These: The citizens of the land of Termina
Community spotlight: Haxan goes above and beyond for the community

Monthly Musings
Instant Replay: Street Fighter II
The Start of the Affair: Solomon's Key

Editorials and assorted articles
Does the Wii have RROD-type issues of its own?
Okay, Nintendo. I guess that we can be friends again.
Niero, do you have any idea what in the lobster milkshake you have done?! (dtoid 3rd anniversary post)
10 things you might not have known about Haxan (but really only 8)
Why Destructoid is awesome: Nilcam is the greatest edition (I honestly can't give Nilcam enough props for this.)
Christmas shopping: Non-gaming, priest dad-style
Bad Dye Job: A Darius Pickman Story
"Congraturation" RetroforceGO!
Nintendon't what?! Now you tell me just what the %#@$ Nintendon't do!

Neat stuff I played a bit part in
The Destructoid children's alphabet book


Xbox LIVE:haxan1
PSN ID:Haxan
Mii code:8490 3559 2301 7665


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