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LONG BLOG

Off-Road Velociraptor Safari

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The most epic game off all time just launched. Screw that brawl shit! Fuck yo MGS4! Its all about the Off-Road Velociraptor Safari !1!!!!! I can has OICW position?
Press Release
PHOENIX, AZ -- Flashbang Studios, an independent game developer, posted an open letter to the Internet:

Friends and family, colleagues and customers,

Regarding the controversy surrounding the recently released trailer for our upcoming interactive entertainment experience, "Off-Road Velociraptor Safari" (ORVS), we at Flashbang Studios wish to disseminate the following statement. It may appear we have contradicted the established understanding of what exactly a Velociraptor looks like, particularly with regard to the presence of feathers. This has caused some confusion among viewers of the trailer, who may be more familiar with depictions of Velociraptors found in film and popular media. However, current scientific consensus indicates that Velociraptor mongoliensis, and indeed likely all dromaeosaurids, possessed feathers similar to those of modern birds. Paleontologists A.H. Turner, P.J. Makovicky, and M.A. Norell recently addressed feathers in V. mongoliensis in an article published in the journal Science:

"We present direct evidence of feathers in Velociraptor mongoliensis based on the presence of quill knobs on the posterior forearm. In many living birds, raised knobs along the caudal margin of the ulna reveal where the quills of the secondary feathers are anchored to the bone by follicular ligaments. Quill knobs are variably present in extant bird species and are present in only a few basal taxa such as Ichthyornis, so their absence does not necessarily indicate a lack of feathers. Their presence, however, is a direct indicator of feathers of modern aspect (e.g., feathers composed of a rachis and vanes formed by barbs)." [1]

We at Flashbang Studios officially support these remarkable findings by including magnificently feathered Velociraptors in our game. Also, in the spirit of supporting science, we have performed our own independent research on Velociraptor mongoliensis. We present an overview of our findings in the following list:

* Raptor Fun Fact #21 - If you tie a bow around a raptor's neck, it might cause Christmas. Spontaneously.
* Raptor Fun Fact #12 - The raptor's natural prey are soft human babies, which are made out of meat.
* Raptor Fun Fact #73 - The raptor's natural enemy is the gas-powered internal combustion off-road vehicle, which is made of mean.
* Raptor Fun Fact #42 - A raptor skin wallet is three times as practical as a ham wallet.
* Raptor Fun Fact #53 - Raptors live in a world where pants have no meaning.
* Raptor Fun Fact #66 - The Raptor word for love is "SCREEECH!"


All of the above is true; we did the work in our lab*. So in summation, science has our back. Take that, Internet!

Love,
Flashbang

*imagination







P.S. I will make this hidden after the word is spread is the community thinks that is the best thing to do.
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About taumpytearsone of us since 12:28 AM on 06.05.2007

...Clayfighter.







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