So I was digging through my old Docs and I found this old thing I wrote back when the lineup of games for the PlayStation Classic was announced. Take a look.
November 9th, 2018...
So I'm assuming that Sony saw the amount of money, money, money and money Nintendo is getting for their classic mini systems and they want some of it, this wouldn't be a problem if they didn't make it so blatantly obvious that the console will come packaged with the word "rip-off" written all over it in permanant marker.
But I will try not to shove my entire foot up it's ass. The PS1 was a game changer and had many titles that we know and love today. Maybe it won't be so bad.
The console is a tiny version of the original PS1, obviously, and includes 20 built-in games. One of my complaints is that it's powered by a USB cable instead of an AC adapter and I really don't get why these mini consoles do it. It's just making it a bit inconvienient when I have to take out the plug that I use to charge my phone or when I have to use another console. It's like being allowed to keep the pen from the bank but you have to buy the ink seperately.
Anyway, let's take a look at the games. I'm going through them in alphabetical order.
Battle Arena Toshinden
Never heard of it but it does look fun. I hope there are a few hidden gems in the system. The PS1 had a lot of obscure titles that were very fun so I want a few of them to get a chance shine here.
Cool Boarders 2
Not really sure how I feel about this one. I enjoy sports game as much as I enjoy jamming nails down my throat and vomiting on my crush but since I've never played it, I can't judge it, but I don't see many people claiming it as the best thing since Breaking Bad.
I played this game, it sucks, Sony, why?
Final Fantasy VII
I wanted this game more than any of them so I'm very happy this is here. One of the best RPGs ever and deserves it's spot here.
Grand Theft Auto
The game that started the group of moms who want to burn Miyamoto at the stake. I know it's one of the most popular games ever so it really does deserve to be here.
While I'm on the subject, this and two other games have given the system the kiss of death known as the "M For Mature" Rating. In my opinion (not that it matters) this is well deserved. The Playstation is known for being the big kids club when it comes to content in it's games so a classic console like this should at least have something for the people who grew up with that stuff against their grandmother's will. Anyway, back to the game list.
Unfortunately, the biggest flaw with the PS1 classic is that some very obscure titles are arguably taking the places of the title that people would want. This is probably the most obscure and I don't think it fits.
Another frontrunner for the "Nobody Cares Awards" presented by Piers Morgan. This one, I don't think anyone recalls playing.
Metal Gear Solid
Another essential for this system. Everyone knows and loves this game. It's still amazing today and deserves it's spot.
You've gotta be joking. Of all the amazing games on the PS1 you had to pick this? This seems like it was done as the result of a bet with Microsoft. See what I'm talking about with the "stealing spots" thing?
Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee
Another great game that deserves to be here. Not much to say.
R4: Ridge Racer Type 4
Well, I guess one racing game couldn't hurt. I'll accept this. Wouldn't play it myself but I'll give it a pass.
Definitely good, definitely popular, but not really what I think of when I think "Great PS1 games". But again, couldn't hurt.
Resident Evil: Director's Cut
Now you can see why this was rated "M". But it's an amazing game. Sure it hasn't aged well but I don't really care. It's a piece of history for the PS1.
Persona isn't a series I've played but it seems popular so I'll give this one a pass too.
Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo
Sony, what the hell are you on? I'm sorry for repeating myself but of all the amazing games that you could've added, you added the Street Fighter equilivent of Mean Bean Machine. Now this is really starting to grind my gears.
Pretty popular and beloved, let it pass.
Haven't played a Tekken game but they are popular so I'll give it a pass. I know I'm giving a lot of games the pass but it's the only thing I can do if I can't judge it properly but it looks good.
Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six
I've heard good things about Tom Clancy's games. So yeah, why not.
Here's the nightmare version of Mario Kart's battle mode. I love this game and I'm glad it's here.
It's a western RPG, it's okay.
And that's it. Shockingly disapointing. No Crash Bandicoot, no Spyro The Dragon, no Tomb Raider, instead we get Mr. Driller and Super Puzzle Fighter.
I don't have high hopes for the PlayStation Classic, there isn't enough to keep people satisfied. It does have SOME high quality content, I'll give it that.
I supposed I might've judged it unfairly considering it's not even out yet. Maybe someday I will write an actual review of the console itself, listing the good and bad of the system.
But for now, I'm not seeing this going anywhere but we'll see. I hope this starts another war with Jack Thompson so we can really believe we're back in the 90s.
Months later in present day...
...damn. I was spot on. I don't need to write an actual review. Past me did a good job. I can only add that they were so lazy that they stole an emulator and had both NTSC and PAL games mixed for inconsistency. But good job, past me. Jack Thompson joke was nice.
Rating: This microconsole blows!