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Story Time: What The Hell am I Reading?


Disclaimer: The names in this story have been changed to protect people who probably dont exist. Viewer Discression Is advised.

Chapter 1: Home

The weather here in Sunberry New Mexico sure is weird! Thats mainly because Sunberry New Mexico doesn't exist. Im not sure where I am. The desert smells of burning hair and fetal rabbit stew. I have been walking for 37 hours. Three of those hours I walked backwards because I sneezed. It smelt of Windex.

Mother was supposed to pick me up 14 years ago. I think she went to the store first. Im not sure. I should probably introduce myself. To what, I dont know but I probably should any ways. My name is...

Mother finally picked me up. I call her Mother 1 because Im not sure how many Mothers there are. In the car with me is Brother 1 and his pet rock Geophrey. Brother 1 is 2276 hours old. He doesnt know anything yet. Thats probably for his own good.

As we are driving back to the home, Mother 1's jaw fell on the floor. I picked it up and put it in my back pack before she saw. She shouldn't notice. Brother 1 starts to scream at the bottom of his lungs. Mother 1 shoots one of her teeth at me. Thats to tell me to open the window for Brother 1. I open the window. Brother 1 throws Geophrey out the window into the windshield of an oncoming truck. The truck stops. Mother 1 smiles and Brother 1 has stopped screaming. We finally have dinner.

We have reached Home. I run under the carpet before Dad 2 gets home. We all live in this Home. I can hear Sister 4 and 7 up stairs. There is screaming and blood drips between the floor boards splashing off my forehead. I wade throught he pile of things to my room. I close the door and latch all 13 locks. I get a package out of my closet. I put Mom 1's Jaw on top of my TV for good luck. From the package, I pull out a NeNTundo 67. My favorite game to play on it is DuperMan67.

I plug my fork into the socket and give it a small touch in 26.96 second intervals. I call it therapy. My therapist calls it ZAP. I hear the front door get kicked down. Dad 4 is home. Time for dinner. The last one to dinner gets a rotten leg! I was third to dinner so I got some skull and a hamsting.  Mother 1 flicks another tooth at me. That is to remind me that I start my first day of highschool tomorrow. Im so excited I peed. Dad 3 screams so loud that his ears and nose bleed. We thank him for the gravy. Dinner is done and the screams have stopped. Its time to go to bed. I walk down into the basement to feed Brother 2. He smiles in thanks. Then he starts to cry. Good night.

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About Grygoreone of us since 10:41 AM on 10.30.2015

After Lurking for a bit, I decided what the hey, I need to get out of my weird ass shell! Hello Worldoid!