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The Sopa Box: No really Fuck the Oscars


So I've poured a lot of scorn over the video game industry over the past however many Sopa Box Cblogs I've done. And I plan to pour a lot more scorn over the industry too. However today is different, today I come out in defence of the industry and point out the insane profoundness behind the simple statement from Josef Fares of "Fuck the Oscars".

A long time ago Moviebob did a video essay imagining if the Oscar's were like the VGAs (for the younger ones here they're the Video Game Awards a yearly show that was run on Spike TV). So now many years on I get to turn it around and expand it quite a bit. You see the Oscar's are pretty much the big event in Hollywood films so let's play a game, if Video games were the movies.

If Video games were the movies there would be distinct genre / tone based seasons, meaning if you wanted anything with more depth to it that Call of Duty you'd only be able to buy it around the time of The Game Awards and have to pick which of the 20+ titles of that same genre / tone all released at the same time.

If video games were movies, Yoko Tara would never have made Nier Automata. Nier was considered a flop on most fronts and with Hollywood if you direct a flop (and weren't a stand in director) then chances are you'll never work again with that level of budget unless you sign on to direct before the flop comes out.

If video games were the movies, Konami would have sacked Hideo Kojima and replaced him with, probably Cliff Bleszinski to finish MGSV.

If video games were the movies, no studio would dare say their game underperformed. In fact no studio would dare actually say how much their game cost or even give a hint about it.

If video games were the movies Polygon would count as part of the academy.

If video games were the movies Zack Snyder would have directed the Batman Arkham games.

If video games were the movies every company would be trying to figure out how to make all their titles connected as part of an expanded universe.

If video games were the movies the studio executives would have made it so the Beyond Two souls scene with Ellen Page in the shower showed explicit nudity. No really.

If video games were the movies anyone mocking David Cage would be called a philistine who doesn't know real true art.

If video games were the movies then we'd have 3 video games called Tag, at least one of which was made by a major studio with fairly well known talent behind it.

If video games were the movies an entire potential franchise would have been ruined because one of the financiers insisted their son be the star.

If video games were the movies companies would be trying to make their games shorter so they could shift more of their titles at full price.

If video games were the movies Adam Sandler.
And no I don't care to elaborate more.

If video games were the movies then indie games would be buried and relegated to only seeing the light of day when they're included with streaming subscription services.

If video games were the movies we'd see old well loved titles being brought back into Trashy B movie vague attempts at lowest common denominator humour.

If video games were the movies then there would be almost no 18 rated games and most games would get recut trying to get a Teen rating at most.

If video games were the movies Sarah Palin would have told everyone to go play Call of Duty.

If video games were the movies EA would have refused to make a game because it would mean paying money to a childrens hospital who own the IP rights.

If video games were movies a giant corporation would have deliberately sought out public domain works out of copyright, published them as titles and then been happy to pretend they're the originators of the stories. 

If video games were the movies most games would be releasing in polarised 3D to try and get into China more easily.

If video games were the movies companies would be trying to buy up the rights to anything in the young adult fiction genre to make into a movie.

If video games were the movies the people who appear in some form in the game would have a whole show dedicated to celebrating their achievement televised globally, the people who helped make them that good would have a website asking for donations and an award show barely shown nationally let alone internationally that few people will likely know about.

And the icing on the top of the cake

If video games were the movies then at the Game Awards people would be awkwardly sitting there hoping the person next to them or one of the major winners wasn't 1 week from being exposed as a prolific sexual abusers. In video games case the only concern would be if you're sitting next to a games journalist.

Let video games never become the film industry because Fuck the Oscars

Thank you for reading, and remember THE REVOLUTION WILL BE LIVESTREAMED

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About Dwarvenhobbleone of us since 8:33 AM on 06.19.2012

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