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LONG BLOG

Comments of the Week 53: Agony

   0

A truly torturous game

Don't play Agony
Just don't do it. 

It's a lurid, gory dumpster-fire of a game, where textures look reminiscent of the Playstation 2 and level design is as uninteresting as my sex life. 
It's a dull, insipid waste of time and money, especially when Scorn looks much more promising and even if that particular game turns out to be bad, I doubt it will be as terrifically awful as Agony. 

Anyway, while I've been suffering, you guys have been hammering out awesome comments which have brought me no end of joy. 
So let's get to them shall we? 

Resident Evil 7 Switch 'makes no promises' preserving your save file

TheLimoMaker: That is a fair bargain. 

TheLimoMaker: Sometimes, it's better to imagine a Switch port instead.

TheLimoMaker: Yeah that's actually the best description of it.

Modders find remnants of Bloodborne, Demon's Souls stages in Dark Souls Remastered


TheLimoMaker: Modders operate on a different plane of existence to me. Most people do anyway but still, they're more intelligent than I.

Star Citizen will be offering a $27,000 DLC bundle, for those who already spent $1,000

TheLimoMaker: Gotta get them gobstopper's yo.

Xbox's big ticket Games with Gold freebie for June is $100 worth of Smite microtransactions

TheLimoMaker: Sometime soon, they will have to give away other Ubisoft sandbox games. Don't worry, there's plenty to choose from. 

TheLimoMaker: Halo 5, Sea of Thieves, Ryse: Son of Rome or Scalebound, which one would you like next month?

PUBG Corp. is suing Epic Games over battle royale similarities

TheLimoMaker: Truth. 

In face of controversy, Battlefield V developer states female characters 'are here to stay'

TheLimoMaker: The salt goes well with chips, I can tell you that much!

Holy crap, with Solo you actually voted with your wallets

TheLimoMaker: That's not true what about... Wait there must be... Or how about... Shit, you're right.

Uncensored patch for survival horror title Agony cancelled

TheLimoMaker: To be fair, I wish the whole game was cancelled so that makes me more caucasian than other caucasian's.

Yakuza series producer states the PS4 remasters are for 'new overseas fans'

TheLimoMaker: That face unsettles me.

Active Shooter dev's entire catalogue removed from Steam


TheLimoMaker: I can just feel the memetic, lonely, neglected, "edgelord" try-hard level of incompetence from here.

Multiple new Pokemon games revealed for Switch

TheLimoMaker: Yeah bud, I feel that way too.

Walmart ignores starter's orders and reveals Team Sonic Racing

TheLimoMaker: Still be better than Square Enix's conference believe me.

Historically accurate games you can play instead of Battlefield V

TheLimoMaker: Keep the vaginas away from my games thank you.
Keep the ability to revive someone after a two-hundred-foot drop or thirty bullet wounds to the face; just don't let anything in that might break my immersion and be inaccurate to real-life events. 

The animation of Thundercats Roar doesn't matter


TheLimoMaker: Oh yeah, Berserk came back didn't it. *shudders*

So, uh, is she in the tower or...?

TheLimoMaker: No, this game is too boring to be ironically positive about. 

TheLimoMaker: That's just a typical day in Brexit Britain.

Andrew 'Rick Grimes' Lincoln leaving The Walking Dead

TheLimoMaker: Everybody liked that.

Bungie will reveal its pivotal Year 2 plans for Destiny 2 next week

TheLimoMaker: It would probably have a better story than Destiny 2 too.

BioWare is showing off Anthem's story, combat, and looting at E3

TheLimoMaker: This man gets it. #FuckEA.

The transferable skills in gaming

TheLimoMaker: I learned how to live in America through GTA.

TheLimoMaker: But will you be going alone?

TheLimoMaker: That joke swept me off my feet.

TheLimoMaker: If this is progress, I don't want it. 

TheLimoMaker: Seems legit.

TheLimoMaker: Fortnite seems to have a new mode for the Switch release.


TheLimoMaker: Yeah, no, that'd make me turn away too. 

TheLimoMaker: ... Da fuk?

TheLimoMaker: Ah, to be 18 again and spend the night with a goat. 

TheLimoMaker: We all have had a moment like this pal. 

 

That's all from me. 

Comments of the Week is out on a Sunday.
The sun is shining.
GameManiac wasn't featured this week.
E3 is in a week's time.

The world is right again. 

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About COTWone of us since 9:21 PM on 05.12.2017

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