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LONG BLOG

Fake Game Reviews: Far Cry 5

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After going around the world, the Far Cry saga has finally made its way to the states. And as God is my witness, it is a beautiful sight. A sight you soon blow the shit out of!

The game takes place in the rural state of lovely Illinois, lost in a three-way civil war between two military militias and the government. After some civil unrest regarding corn oil, the whole state descended into chaos, ripe for some explosive gameplay.

You play as Dennis Halford, a rookie CIA agent sent in alongside his senior, Henry, on a recon mission. They intend to get to the heart of the debacle and possibly silence some ”unwanted” people. After an exciting car chase with alligators on rocket skates, Henry betrays you.

He needs a scapegoat to hide his dealings with the Renegades militia, so he leaves you to take the blame for the literal mountain of heroin he stole from Hollywood, as detailed in the preorder comic. It's at this point that you're left to die and the game opens up. After craftsurvivaling yourself some bootstraps and a gun, the quest to take back the land begins.

The game follows the structure of previous games. Your missions are divided among the three factions, with choices having a bit of an effect on story. Except for the ending, none of these choices are terribly deep. If anything, it's a way for you to spend extra time with your favorite faction leader.

There's loads to do in FC5, as one would expect. The main missions are the highlight, due to all of their unique content. Whether it's stealing gas for a reinforced monster truck or hunting down material to be used in in homemade mortars, there's always something on the horizon.

Not to say that the side content is bad, just a tad monotonous if you go out of your way to clear it as soon as possible. The base conquests come to mind. I particulary like the basejumping minigame in VR. Makes for an exciting experience, weak stomachs beware.

With how many dudes need shooting, one would hope that the game kept the exciting gameplay of the last few games. Thankfully, this is the case. Besides the usual array of machine guns and grenade launchers, there's the new bow to play with.

It takes a whole slew of ammo types, bringing Thief and Zelda to mind. Confusing guards with a skunk-essence arrow, only to shoot them in the ass with an explosive one will ever not be funny to me. You can also change its colour to a cool jet-black with red stripes if you put in some effort.

The upgrade system has remained largely the same, but the three trees are even bigger! There's the personal one with support skills, the weapon skills and the crafting tree. It's a joy to hunt around for racoon scrotums, rubber tires and deer horns just to make stuff.

For some extra fun, you can also share a playthrough with a friend for the whole game. It was great to ”accidentally” drop out of a plane just before we were gonna do a sick tailspin over a mountain.

Far Cry 5 comes recommended for each and everyone of you itching to enact your vengeance on Illinois for their unamerican Italian beef sandwiches! The explosions are pretty sweet too. 9/10

- Welcome to my world, Enjoy your stay, But always remember, There is no return.


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About Kerrik52one of us since 3:12 AM on 02.28.2016

Greetings, one and all. I'm known as Kerrik52 around these parts and I think I'm pretty swell, for a Swedish dude.

I love all games, except the bad ones. I play games when possible, thinking I'll eventually break into heaven. I'm currently studying computer science.

I have written some blogs here exploring old games by From Software with more to come later. Not to mention my salty bitch series on the Souls-games.

I also have a little Youtube channel bearing my name that mostly contains videos related to my blogs.

I some games I love are:

Dark Souls
God Hand
Resident Evil 4
Tales of Eternia
Kingdom Hearts
Jak & Daxter
King's Field
Devil May Cry
Legacy of Kain
Shadow Hearts
Spyro
Ys
Shin Megami Tensei
Resistance
Patapon
Legend of Heroes
Yakuza
Locoroco
Ape Escape

I have a very low standard for movies, but I have some favorites. These include:

Coraline
Tintin
The Secret Life of Walter Witty
Pooh's Grand Adventure
Scott Pilgrim VS the World

The last TV shows I watched were House, Mythbusters and Fringe.

Anime on the other hand, is something I watch often. I like:

Symphogear
Jojo
Gonna Be the Twintail
Nichijou
WIXOSS
Black Rock Shooter
Nobunagun
Airmaster
Fist of the Northstar

I don't read very much anymore, but I like Asimov and Lovecraft.

Music-wise I'm an apostle of Dio and the German power metal scene. Other favorites include:

Gamma Ray
Iron Savior
Freedom Call
Dreamtale
Axel Rudi Pell
Edguy
Avantasia

Go ahead and share a piece of your world with me and I'll pay back in kind. Don't be deterred if I answer you in a wall of text though. I despise unfulfilling writing and will do all it takes to make my points.