It's getting to be that time of year. January is turning to February. Valentine's Day is right around the corner. Love is in the air people. Or is that my flatulence from the 3 bean burrito I ate at lunch? Man I don't know. Love and gaseous emitions have such a fine line. It's tough for me to tell the difference. Oh well, let's go with love.
With Valentine's Day coming up that means a couple things. One, a huge upkick in chocolate, flowers, and horribly written lovey dovey Hallmark cards. As we all know St. Valentine was the patron saint of heart shaped chocolate and sappy cards. Also I think he invented those little heart candies that taste like chalk. Either him or Gandhi. I'm not sure, I mix those two guys up all the time. Number two, sexy time! For us married guys, as long as we remember Valentine's Day, we are almost guaranteed some sexy time (let's be honest here, it's going to turn into Netflix and time on the toilet due to that 3 bean burrito, followed by sleeping on the couch because it smells like a Taco Bell bathroom in the bedroom). Number three it's a time for me to appreciate the parts of my gaming hobby that I love. So much love for gaming, so little time.
Old Timey Gaming
Looking at the present to appreciate the past. Just recently I was lucky enough to find an SNES Classic. All it cost me was my soul, my first born, and I had to show some side boob. No biggy, I got some nice man boobs and my body is a Wonderland. Joh Mayer gets me *swoon*. The SNES classic has reminded me so much about how I love my old school gaming. The SNES was and continues to be my favorite console of all time. So many good games. Super Mario RPG, A Link to the Past, Final Fantasy VI...man oh man so many good games.
I've been playing so much if it recently I forgot I had a PS4 for awhile. Nostalgia gaming is great. My only complaint is they should give you a warning. If your nostalgia erection lasts more than 4 hours, please play Troll and I and you'll get rid of that gaming erection in no time. Long story short, I love my SNES Classic.
Now hear me out. I know lootboxes are a hot topic issue right now. And I know most people hate them. They're generally looked at as the herpes of the gaming community, so how could anyone love lootboxes? Well, let me show you my genius. I love loot boxes because they show people what the world is all about. They teach kids how the world works. The more money you have, the more chances you get. Some people are lucky, some aren't. The inventer of loot boxes is obviously using the loot box as a microcosm of society. Right? Wait loot boxes are just a product of greedy game companies? A way for them to make more money. Oh...well this is awkward...actually, this is perfect. Love like loot boxes is awkward and costs lots of money and you might get lucky. On second thought that works better and I am a genius!
I looooove Rocket League. Like seriously, I'm ready to ask out Rocket League, take it out on a nice date where they can order anything they want off the dollar menu. Why do I love Rocket League so much? Pleasure and pain. It's a game that has such a mix of pleasure and pain. One minute I'm scoring the most amazing goal ever and leading my team to victory. The next I'm missing the easiest save in the history of the world and showing that I still suck. And just so I know I suck, my teammate Mr. 69ballsac_guy sends the message U suck for all to see. Never has a game become so addicting and been the perfect Yin and Yang. It's beautiful.
I love you Xbox One. You show me that no matter how empty I've ever felt, I will never be as empty as your game library(I had an Xbox One alone for years so I can make this horrible joke).
First off let's get this out of the way, I used the term Soulsborne. You're darn right I did. I know, I hate me too. Get in line. Anyway, I love the Soulsborne series sooooo much. This has quite possibly become my favorite gaming series of all time. I've unfortunately never played Demon's Souls (hey, let's get a remake done. Dere needs his souls fix). I started the series with Dark souls and that game was just so amazing. The atmosphere, the setting, the combat, the sense of accomplishment. Sounds like sexy time with Dere if you know what I mean.
In all honestly, Dark Souls showed me so much what a game could be. Even though subsequent games weren't quite as good, I loved them all. I find myself going back to these games periodically and I'm sure I will for the rest of my human life.
I love video games and I always will . They're just so much fun. And I never have a "bad date" with my video games. Not like eating a breakfast burrito before a date and then having explosive diahrea while driving said date to Applebee's and subsequently crapping myself and being forced to throw my underwear away in the Applebee's bathroom. Not that something like that ever happened to me. But video games will never do that to me. I love them and they love me.