"haha old" - © GajKnight
You never forget your first.
I still remember my first gray hair. I still see it, daily, as it earnestly strives to regrow in the shorn, razed wasteland called my demolished beard. Since I shave clean through to the supple skin, I slice away the grayling every Sun cycle. It always, without fail, returns on the morrow. Even on the glistening, hairless surface of my shaven chin, I can identify the spot of the hoary host, lurking...and waiting.
I shave for a multitude of reasons. One, I could never hope to match the peerless facial forests of royal men such as Fuzunga, Absolutfreak, and DeadMoon-nee-Kevin. Two, I dislike dangling scraggly steel wool from my svelte face. Three?
[I knew it!!]
The up[?]side to shaving: strangers assume I'm younger than actual. Hey - in a world accelerating, I'll take it! Nonetheless, as I /do/ hurtle toward the inevitable AARP membership and token discount at Tim Horton's, I increasingly desire exploring worlds of gaming splendor as an oldbie. The burnout of the adolescent protag feels real indeed, and so I skew toward the weary and well-worn.
The venerable Star Ocean 3 on PS2 introduced me to the first "adult-ish" playable deuteragonist who resonated with me because of perspective. Despite a goofy last name, Cliff Fittir spoke words of reality and common sense to the out-of-his-element teenaged protag Fayt Liengod, to say nothing of Cliff's general reliability as both starship veteran and team powerhouse throughout the space-opera adventure. Instead of engulfing his hours in petty squabbles or romantic fluff, Cliff focuses on completing the objectives ahead of him and the motley crew. Sure, it helps that he can dish out ridiculous stunlocks with Fists of Fury and exorbitant ranged damage with Max Shockwave, but hey! Just as imperative, to me, was his offhand, almost insouciant claim to a committed worldview of atheism. That impressed me, and I'm not even an atheist.
Other old-timers crept in as we rolled along. Solid Snake certainly aged to a decrepit camouflaged husk in Metal Gear Solid 4; Kazuma Kiryu ripened into a seasoned orphanage caregiver by age 40 in Yakuza 3; Geralt of Rivia shone throughout the Northern Realms as a fabled juggernaut of majestic professionalism in The Witcher 3. Dynasty Warrior titles now proffer several elder wonders such as Sun Jian, Huang Zhong, and Cheng Pu. From Western spectacles to Eastern delights, older playable characters fulfill my expanding desire to savor my gaming endeavors in the surety of adulthood.
Older ladies, too, grace the halls, if less commonly. I would like to view improvement in this region, but in the meantime, I'll gladly praise whom I've personally beheld. Three adult females represented three standout favorite characters in Namco's Tales of... franchise masterpiece, Berseria; of those, two stood by as sharp, shrewd, knowledgeable supporting allies, while one, I gleefully controlled.
The leader of the Bloodwing Butterflies shadow guild, Tabatha Baskerville, always met confusion with reason and uncertainty with piercingly sound advice. It warmed my heart considerably when the game repeatedly returned our seafaring cast to the tavern in Loegres to imbibe ol' Tabatha's wisdom.
Another insightful ally, the plucky Normin sage Grimoirh, unfurled a legacy of linguistics to aid the Malak boy Laphicet with deciphering ancient ominous texts. Yet, Grimoirh shone brightest whenever she acted as a tiny shoulder to lean upon, dispensing her choicest nuggets in keenly reading the language of the classic human fatal flaw and condition.
Finally, when it came to playable combatants, none underwent a less worldview-shattering education than the reverent Eleanor Hume. Yet, this very unraveling of her understanding of the world and its conventions served to chart the game's most masterful character arc, summarily converting me from tepid onlooker to heartfelt smiling fan of hers. Each of the six playable cast endeared themselves to me entirely, and others may've supplied more fun or humor; regardless, in terms of my respect and esteem, I most miss the intelligent orange-haired spearwoman of the house of Hume, the one named Eleanor.
I can deceive coworkers into believing I'm 7-8 years younger than I look. I can relive the days of the high school and collegiate, bright-eyed to a fault. I can sit here, sullen, morose at the approaching terminus animus. Or? I can clap once, plunk down, and enjoy a round with the dilapidated. "Haha, old." Yep. Amen.
That, reader, makes a Larx Fulten. There, find my I.D.
* - JuIc3 brings anime, not calories, to the table with a timely and discerning review of a most intriguing getaway, Recovery of an MMO Junkie. This strikes me as almost alarmingly prescient: few among us wouldn't wish to abdicate our position, abscond with our meager valuables, and secret ourselves away to a life of revelry and video games. It sounds as though how the show tackles this wish-fulfillment fantasy merits circumspection on the why. As one distancing myself from the barrage and bombardment of middle-school scenarios overrunning Japanese media, I champion this gaze into adulthood's abyss. Cash out, Juice-sama!
* - Prelude1221 wrote a bangin' blog about their awarded trip to PAX South. The best part? Prelude *won* this trip through one of our frontpage Destructoid contests! Woo-hoo! Having never attended a convention before, they detail within an extensive and heartwarmingly enjoyable experience in their debut blog; since I couldn't bear to spoil the synopsis, go on ahead & click in to read for yourself! I highly recommend it for the robust narrative, with all the requisite twists and juicy turns.
* - LaTerry delves deep into the endless ocean of 2017's gaming buffet to display his favorites for a plethora of facets and reasons. The vast rundown covers a cornucopia of genres, categories, platforms, and masterstrokes; I heartily endorse Terry's discerning gaming palate. Glad to read such a descriptive and cheerful C-blog for a year of outstanding gaming, sir! Bonus categories from me below, regarding his selected nominations:
Favorite 2017 Game I've Yet To Play But Will: Super Mario Odyssey
Favorite 2017 Game I'm Scared To Play And May Not: Doki Doki Lit Club
Favorite 2017 Game I Platinum'd: NieR Automata
Favorite 2017 Game Starring Lance Reddick: Horizon Zero Dawn
Favorite 2017 Game I'm Still Playing In 2018: Hatsune Miku Project DIVA Future Tone
Favorite 2017 Game DLC I Don't Wanna Buy 'Cause It's Bloody Overly Expensive: Ghost Rule - Hatsune Miku Project DIVA Future Tone ($7.99 for two tracks??)
Favorite 2017 Game Nominator: LaTerry & everyone else who nominated Hatsune Miku Project DIVA Future Tone in any category or list
Favorite 2017 "Larx, Shut Up About It Already": ♥♦♣♠ Miku-Miku ♥♦♣♠
S - Riobux, whom some say saw the world born in its twilight, cranks out delightful * N E W S * about the clandestine benevolence of Electronic Arts as they've stealthily funneled all their egregious profits into curing that Dragon, cancer. No word yet on whether YouTube comment sections remain immune to the cleansing - or whether EA shall gate the aforementioned cure behind a pulley system of lootboxes, Madden 19 contests, and Augmented Preorders. Stay tuned to all things Yellow News to "learn more." Winky face.
Decipher, then explain, to win. 100% serious.
Bless 2018, Earth-chan.
Kangaroo. Atari 2600. Four years old. Almost three decades later, nightmares revive. Forget literary horror: this game scarred me.
Touhou + Mahjong + VGM = ♪♪♪
R - Kitasia attempts to brainstorm a depth-responsive display to reduce strain on vision while gaming, viewing, and so on. With my ailing vision, I'd rise up for that. Deal here's that the proposition explains benefits without much identifying the solution conferring the same. Beyond that lie basic suggestions to reduce eye strain. It's true re: larger font, I'll testify.
L - Vadicta terrifies me in all of the finest of fashions. Go on, daring adventurer, and read his latest foray into the depraved realm of Mobile (AL) with a game equal parts Neopets and the chore-job minigames of No More Heroes. "Chore-jobs," coincidentally, Vadicta should patent and market, banking trillions. Thank me later, dude.
January 17, 2018. Happy 33rd birthday, me.
Larx out, homeslice~
Never let your troubles twist your stay.
Today's title track: Ai Dee
Producer: Mitchie M
Vocaloid: Hatsune Miku | Megurine Luka