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The gift of fanfic


So maybe something is wrong with me but I wrote some destiny fan fiction, here goes.... graphic sexual content warning... SERIOUSLY... I mostly wrote this because people were writing lore on the forums and I loved the game but we shouldn't have to supplement it ourselves; plus the micro transactions pissed me off.  

So Eris Morn came to the tower not only to warn of Crota but to find a suitable mate. Having 3 eyes (not including her brown eye, that made 4) was a deformity on hiveopolis and she was shunned by the hive manfolk as a result. Eris was from a poor family and couldn't afford hive plastic surgery from a licensed hive physician, she had tried the fallen doctors but their surgical equipment was made from garbage scraps and their version of anesthetic was a fallen turd sprinkled with seasoning salt. She made her way to earth, where diversity was celebrated and her deformity would empower her. She even tried to get on the #metoo campaign but not even Harvey Weinstein or Al Franken would sexually harass her; she was too weird looking. She dressed up as a 14 year old boy and tried Kevin Spacey, but he knew that she was in disguise. She tried getting -blam!- at a furry convention but her stench gave her away. Her hopes all but dashed, she went to the tower and purchased a veil. It didn't do much good because you could see her eyes glowing behind it and you could also see the stench physically emanating from her. She set her sights on Cayde 6 because she knew he didn't have human senses, being a robot. One day her hopes were realized as they were on a mission together on new mercury. They were trying to find a place to camp and where Cayde could recharge his batteries. They stopped in an alcove with overhead shelter. Secluded. Quiet. Next to a rock formation. Cayde said jokingly "I've got a rock formation in my pants, I haven't been robo laid in a robot minute." Eris replied with "well I'm right here". Cayde blushed slightly (his metallic eyes turned a shade of red) as he said Eris you know we can't, it's against the intergalactic Geneva convention.

She took off her veil and said "this isn't the only place I have 3 openings..." Cayde was a robot but he had been programmed with human feelings and emotions and most importantly, desires. He had always been too shy to approach a woman. He had given Shaxx a handjob on the moon years ago, but shaxx had to get skin grafts afterwards and he told everyone in the tower that Cayde 6 was Gayde 6.

He leaned over and placed his mouth port on eris's lips, and moved his cold unfeeling fingers down to her nether regions under her robe. Much to his surprise she did indeed have 3 openings. Cayde felt confused, as he had only been programmed to have sex with a human woman (hence why he was so forceful with shaxx's love meat and embarrassed himself). Eris told him don't fight it let it happen. It was cold that night, the sun behind them. They filled the air with steam as they explored each other's bodies. Eris presented herself to Cayde fully nude. She was magnificent. Cayde unsheathed his member and the light from the lava shone off the gleaming tip. He forcefully penetrated her, slowly at first then programmed his hips faster and faster. She let out a cry. That's when they heard the clicking noise that signaled the fallen were near. They tried to be silent but they couldnt. Eris looked up and saw Variks staring down at them. She shooed him away but Cayde said "hey we could make this interesting". More to come...

Still a better story than both destiny games

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About dubd95bone of us since 6:07 PM on 07.01.2011

I was created by splicing gorilla and tyrannosarus DNA with Chuck Norris and the only tear that the terminator ever produced when he felt human emotion. I then was trained by Mike Tyson whom I later bested in armwrestling and in a bare knuckle match.