I've considered myself a fan of video games for most of my life. However, I've felt a serious disconnection from games over the last few years. I've been out of the loop when it comes to the titles most players seem to be engaged with for some time now and I'm not even sure I like playing games that much any more.
I've noticed a massive divide between myself and people who enjoy games like Call of Duty, Assassin's Creed and Skyrim. I have no experience with any of these titles and it makes me feel like I'm sitting at the kids table at dinner.
I enjoy game series like Sonic the Hedgehog, Mario, Donkey Kong, Kirby, what have you. I don't feel bad for enjoying what I enjoy. I've played and enjoyed titles like The Witcher III: Wild Hunt, Batman: Arkham Knight and Super Street Fighter IV: 3D Edition as well as the classic platformer series.
I've just been curious why I'm not into many of the popular AAA titles that so many other people are into. I've felt like I'm segregated from my peers when I don't play or know much about a lot of big name titles or various aspects of the current gaming industry. I didn't even know what a season pass was until a few years ago.
You could say I have different tastes to other players and I'd agree with that. However, with my current mental health, I feel like I've been enjoying video games (and other media) a lot less than I used to. As I've stated before, the Nintendo 3DS is the only gaming system that really has my full interest.
There have been many contenders for game of the year so far yet I haven't played any of them. Even games I initially wanted to play lost my interest. I just feel like I'm missing out on... something. I honestly believe my depression has dampened how much I enjoy playing games.
It feels like I'm fading away and I don't want to lose myself any more than I already have. I've felt lost for so long that even media I used to love has been affected. This song describes how I've felt for so much of my life and I can't listen to it without starting up the waterworks. When I was a kid, this was just a sad song, but it means so much more to me now.
I've realized I don't mind if I'm more interested in an experience like Animal Crossing over Dark Souls. I just want to keep enjoying games for as long as I can. Playing games isn't super important to me but it's a fun pastime that I still care about.
When I get older, I'll probably move on from games. The gaming industry has changed and I don't enjoy the simplicity of playing video games the way I used to as a kid. They just don't feel the same, you know? Part of it could be nostalgia, but I also think it's the way games are currently developed. However I don't want to lose that enjoyment just yet. I already feel like a part of me is gone and I'm trying to save what's left.
While I may feel lost right now and video games might not be the escape from reality they used to be, when I sit down with a game like Sonic, I know I'm home.