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LONG BLOG

How Splatoon helped me reconnect to an old friend.

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Splatoon has a special place in my heart. First and foremost, it was pretty much the deciding factor of me purchasing a Wii U. See, when E3 2014 rolled around, Nintendo was fucking killing it with the hits. They announced the obvious titles such as the next The Legend of Zelda and Super Smash Bros., but then they get you with the surprise debut of Bayonetta 2 and Super Mario Maker. Now, I wasn't really hyped for the console before, but after this press conference, I could see myself purchasing it when I could.

However, when they showed off Splatoon for the first time, that was the title that made me had to have it. To me, it was an innovative take on the multiplayer shooter genre that emphasized territory control over kill streaks. It was a fun, addicting title that pretty much anyone could easily pick up and play, with intricacies and innovations that casuals and professionals alike could get a kick out of. Furthermore, the game just oozed style, with tons of fresh clothes to choose from and a skaterpunk atmosphere you can just soak in.

When I played the Global Testfire, I couldn't stop thinking about it. And when the game actually came out, I couldn't put it down. Although I eventually did drop the game from my schedule — I like to stop binging on multiplayer games to spend time with the singleplayer titles — I loved my time with it. In fact, I was almost desperate enough to buy a Nintendo Switch just so I could join the Splatoon 2 Testfire. As you can see, I'm pretty much in love with the game. And now I got one more reason to.

Now, if you read one of my old blogs, I talked about a girl I used to know in high school. Long story short, we were friends, then on the last day of my junior year, she had to move away. We didn't really have a way to keep in touch — she had a Gaia Online account, but ditched it soon afterward — so we haven't heard from each other in years. Anyway, about a year ago, I found out through a Google search of her Gaia account (to see if she was one of those people who use the same name for everything) that she had a Tumblr account, and messaged her. It's actually a lot more complicated than that, but that's about the gist of it.

Anyway, so after catching up for a bit, I found out that she has an Xbox One. Since I have a PS4, I thought that we couldn't play anything together... until I found out that she had a Wii U, AND a copy of Splatoon. So, we spent Saturday trying to find each other on Skype — my name is literally the "John Smith" of my race, so she saw that there was over 15,000 others — and playing Splatoon over voice chat. Man, we shared a lot of laughs over that game. While I wouldn't say we were particularly close when we met in high school — which was one of the reasons why I was afraid to reach out to her, other than being a creep — we had a similar sense of humor and energy that we kind of clicked. Now, I don't know if it's like that episode of How I Met Your Mother, but even after all these years, we still acted like the same couple of immature dumbasses that we once were. For example, I'll write down some of the things that happened during our time together.

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*Neither of us have played Splatoon in a long time*

Me: "Oh my God!"

Her: "What?"

Me: "Okay, I walked into the stores to see what's on sale, and I accidentally walked into Sheldon's shop. Since I haven't played in a long time, he keeps telling me of all the new stuff they added, and there's no skip button!"

*after almost five minutes of mashing A*

Me: "Finally."

Her: "Oh my God!"

Me: "What?"

Her: "I accidentally walked into Sheldon's store."

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Her: "Okay, join the private match lobby."

Me: "Alright. What's the password?"

Her: "8008."

Me: *types it in*

Her: "Because I'm immature."

Me: *looks at the numbers*

Me: "Really? REALLY? :P"

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*We start playing Turf War online.*

*Gets splatted after I activate my Special*

Me: "Oh my God!"

Her: "What?"

Me: "Okay, I forgot to switch to my Splattershot Jr., which comes with the Bubbler. What I like to do is, I like to build my Ult, rush the enemy, and pop the Bubbler. Since I'm using the NES Zapper, I have an Echo Locator instead. I can't use that for protection!"

Her: "It IS always important to have protection ;P."

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Me: "Wait, I thought we joined a match together. Why are we on opposite teams?"

Her: "Because Nintendo hates friendship. That's why Mario Kart and Mario Party exists."

Me: *thinks about it*

Me: "WHAT IF... Nintendo is testing our friendship by putting us on different teams, to see if we'd betray them to help our friend out?"

Her: *thinks about it*

Her: "You go first."

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*Another match, we agree not to go for each other.*

*Gets splatted by her*

Me: "Yo, did you just kill me?"

Her: *silence*

Her: "I did."

Me: "I thought we called a truce!"

Her: "Would you believe it was an accident?"

Me: *suspicious gaze*

Me: "WAS it an accident?"

Her: *silence*

Her: Yes-

Me: "YOU LYING! :P"

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*We noticed, in almost ALL of our matches, someone on one of our teams is AFK*

Me: "Yo, my Wii U tablet is running out of batteries."

Her: "Really?"

Me: "Yeah. I think it's still good though. At least for, like, half an hour."

*half an hour later, during a match where we're on opposite teams and no one left the match*

Me: "Oh my God!"

Her: "What's up?"

Me: "My controller just died."

Her: *laughing her ass off*

Her: "You did say there was ALWAYS someone AFK in the match. The prophecy is fulfilled!"

Me: *trying to hold back my laughter*

Me: "Yo, this ain't funny! I was winning!"

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Yes, we played so much that I managed to drain the battery of my controller. To be fair, I did had to update my game and all of that nonsense — you have to keep the Wii U tablet on — but the point is, the hours metaphorically flew by. We did have conversations about what happened since the last time we saw each other, and what we're up to now, but regardless, it was just a nice gaming session that I really appreciated having. I never really thought that I'd get to hang with her again, and it honestly made my day that I got to have a moment like this again.

We did discuss plans about getting together again for more gaming. I do actually have an Xbox One — I just don't use it much, so I let my Xbox Live lapse — so I was thinking of buying the necessary things we need to game together like a new subscription, a headset so we can party chat (in case she wants me to join her in Horde Mode), and Battleborn because she fucking loves that game but has no one to play co-op with.

While I don't know if we'll ever actually get together to play some games again — because I heard them say, "nothing's ever promised tomorrow today" — even if I only get to have that one moment, I got to play one of my favorite games with one of my favorite persons in the world.

Oh, because I HAVE to say something perverted after all that mushy-gushy shit. We were discussing favorite characters in games and guess fucking what? She told me that she REALLY likes big, strong, men (preferably not human). She likes Attikus from Battleborn, Roadhog in Overwatch, Wrex in Mass Effect, and the Tank in Left 4 Dead. It's almost like a certain original character I drew. All I'm saying is, we ain't seen each other in years, so I didn't know she was like that! And being the little beta bitch that I am, I wouldn't mind if we got in a relationship and she cucked me.

...

I really hope she doesn't come to Destructoid and see this. >^<

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About Morphoone of us since 3:53 AM on 11.11.2016