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LONG BLOG

I'm worrying about my future. I need to do something. I need your advice.

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Alright, so, I'm writing this quick blog because your boy is a little unsure of what to do at the moment, so I wanted to get you guys' opinion on what my next step should be. First thing's first, you guys know that I'm unemployed. That's the most important aspect of this conundrum. The second is that, realistically, that's probably not going to change. I pretty much fucked up every job I had, even a very easy one that you would think would be impossible to fuck up... but I still did. So, even if I could get one, I wouldn't keep it for long for one reason or another. This means that I basically don't have any sort of income coming in.

Okay, so, as you can see, I have a lot of free time on my hands. Now, the way I see it, this just means that I have a lot of potential to go do something. As you may or may not be aware, I started doing some Let's Plays. They're okay. I mean, for a beginner, I could've done a lot worse, so I figured that I can only get better. However, I'm using some cheap ass software to do it with. Since part of the problem is that I need to actually buy some proper recording equipment — for example, some suggested that I buy something for my loud voice, like a compressor or whatever — I figured that I should probably invest in it.

Obviously, since I'm not a big YouTuber, I've been a little hesitant on investing a lot of money into something that, let's be real, isn't going to make that money back. It's not that I don't enjoy doing it, but if I'm thinking long-term, even shooting for 100 subscribers is pretty far-fetched. However, if I don't invest into it, then I will never get that far in the first place, much less further. Whatever chances I have, it could only increase with proper equipment (well, not true, since my lack of technical expertise could actually have me produce lower quality videos, but I'm sure I'd get the hang of it eventually).

Since I already bought an actual microphone (well, a Blue Snowball), what I'm looking for now is a proper capture card, video editing software, and maybe the aforementioned compressor for my loud voice. Obviously, that's going to cost me hundreds of dollars, which is money that, while I do have, I'm very hesitant to spend due to my financial circumstances. Again, I'm not saying I see a future where I can actually get my money back, but even a small success might be good for me.

Here's another thing. So, you guys also know that I like to draw. One thing that inspires me to draw is animation. I was thinking: maybe with my limited funds, I could instead invest in animation software that I could try learning to use instead. Now, I know there's free animation software to use, but I personally want to use Flash CC since it's something I dabbled in in college, so there's a bit of familiarity there. I've made a couple of flash animations, and while they weren't great, they were something that I made. Not proud of, no, but it was something that I think I could've at least polished if my class had more time.

I feel like I stand a better chance if I use something I (kinda) already how to use. Of course, again, this isn't something that I think I can make money off of either. I mean, let's be real, even my drawings aren't good enough, and this is a whole another ballpark. However, while it's not exactly my dream career — which is obviously being a game director — it is much closer to it than making Let's Plays are.

So, anyway, point is, I'm basically almost out of money, and I don't know if I should spend the last of it investing in either of these ideas. I mean, the third option is basically fuck everything and just buy more videogames, but I figured, I want something to work towards and hopefully get something out of. I personally think that I should go half in on both ideas, so that I can make videos and make animations on two separate YouTube channels, but you know what they say about chasing two hares. I don't have much confidence in myself as a Let's Player, but I have no artistic talent either, so it's not easy for me to pick just one.

I think, with maybe some stroke of luck, branding, marketing (all stuff I've been studying for a while), maybe the Let's Play thing could work out. Even if I'm only getting scraps, it's going to be much more than making bad animations, which I expect to get nothing out of. However, from what the statistics tell me, whatever I'm doing, it's not working. Even when I got viewers, since I suck as a Let's Player, they don't finish the video, and that pretty much means they aren't going to watch the next one. I've asked you guys for your opinions and advice, and the only responses I got were buy better equipment, so I have no idea what I'm doing wrong from my perspective. Then there's the fact that, being flat broke, I wouldn't have many games to play anyway.

As for animation, it's a long, hard road to a dead end. I'm not good at drawing, and although talent is something you can develop, it will take more time than I have. There's basically no chance I'll ever make something worthwhile, much less get money for. But it is something that, if it does pan out, would be far more fulfilling to me. While it doesn't seem like it because, again, I suck at drawing... I do study things like film and such. I know things like proper pacing, dynamic angles, frame composition, etc.; I just can't draw it myself. But I'm hoping, even if I could only make short, 3 minute videos, I can create something that I would be proud of, which would be more than any Let's Plays I could make.

Anyway, like I said, this is pretty much my last ditch effort to do something. There's really no point in mulling over a decision right now because I don't know how much time I'll have. Hell, I could get kicked out of the house tomorrow before any decision is made. It's not like I'm getting any income anyway, so while my money's gathering dust, I'm just sitting idly by. Like I said, I don't know which of these will pan out, if any, so I ask your advice.

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About Morphoone of us since 3:53 AM on 11.11.2016