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LONG BLOG

Hello.

   0

Hello, yes hello. Was your interest piqued by the unassuming little title? Did it evoke friendliness? A little ray sunshine bursting through the dark stormy clouds of your day? Piercing through the darkest night and illuminating the titular character as he/she makes a heartfelt speech right before the charge in some fantsyesque type medieval movie? 

This is not this blog.

You have unwittingly stumbled into my little lair. My little corner of the internet. You see, I carefully laid out an irresistible trail of breadcrumbs, candy, chocolate, and other delectable treats that lead you straight here. A spider spinning its web of death, destruction, and pestilence. I see the look of terror in your eyes at your costly mistake. Now now, no need to start crying it is okay. You had no control over yourself, you disgusting slob. Did I say that out loud? *Ahem* no matter, you see, you are trapped. I have disabled your browser's back button the second you made your fateful mistake in clicking this blog. 

Ha. You tried to hit back didn't you? You fell into another one my little traps! You have no choice but to continue to read this blog. To. The. Very. End. MUWAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!

I am like Vizzini, except smarter. I am not stupid enough to engage in a battle of wits with a masked man who undoubtedly has had years of experience in hooliganism. No, I merely want you to finish my reading my blog, that's not too sinister...or is it?

 In case you were wondering that is Vizzini. I am also much more handsome than he was

By now you are wondering to yourself, "who is this mysterious person that has an unnatural like of Psych?" To that I tell you, "If you haven't watched Psych then I pity you." I then proceed to pitty the...

Anyways, I digress. I won't keep you here much longer. I just want you to marvel at this little gem you have come across. I expect you will want to rush off and tell your friend(s) and family about this little morsel of the internet you seemingly have found. That is... IF I let you leave. I haven't decided if I want to let you go or not. I'll have to ramble on for a paragraph or ten as I decide. Aaah, yes, I can see your eyes glazing over like the hot fresh and ready Krispy Kreme doughnuts I saw you buy on the way to work this morning. You didn't think I would see, but I saw. We all saw. We definitely know that Barbara from Accounting saw. You know that means James from Marketing will be by your desk, if James shows up, you know Gregory from sales is right behind. Ugh, crying again? The banana filled was not the way to go. I cannot abide it when people cry about spilled doughnut filling for no reason. It's not like it's your impending doom or anything. 

After mulling it over, and eating a few of your doughnuts you kindly brought. I suppose I will let you go, but you must tell everyone and scream at intimate objects about this little cubbyhole of the internet you...stumbled upon. Hurry back, I'll have more little "treats" waiting for you. 

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About Gus TT Showbizone of us since 10:54 AM on 05.23.2013

A purveyor of puns to those with a discerning taste.

My birthday is April 28th.

Does anybody really read this?