Well today is my birthday. To say it’s been an average year would be an understatement. Not to boast, but I would love to think of myself as an average person but this year really showed me that I am much more than what I think I am. After staying in Ohio with a huge depression because I was living in a two-room hotel room that was tiny with my parents there always running into me.
Not that it was bad, it actually was decent; well the hotel was okay till the last bit when someone in the room next to us was chain smoking a vape machine with non-flavored Tabaco vape… Less to say when I went down stairs to go run in the gym I went though nicotine withdrawal…
But after making it to Arizona I sold a ton of my priceless NES games so I could 1) Go on a flight to see my Girlfriend and see if I needed to end the relationship. 2) Buy a Wii U.
Less to say I had to break up the relationship as there were things that were not negotiable. Which really sucked as this whole year my body and mind has been tormenting me about how I could have stayed, how I could have taken advantage of her and just put up with everything else, how I could have been married and have kids. Which to say, I still have to remind myself every day I would not be doing what I am doing if I had made that choice.
Which to say this year, I cut a ton of fat. (Figuratively and literally)
First of all, I quit League of Legends. I spent 4 years of my life playing that game… and its terrible. (We are talking about… 10,000 games… 45 minutes a game… 450,000 minutes… 7500 hours… 312.5 days…) I simply had to wash my hands of that game. The community is terrible, the balancing is terrible, and the ranking system is terrible. They had a pool of characters they just never fix because they are not popular… Which is stupid.
But I found myself playing that game like someone smokes crack and after I quit I went through withdrawal and it was crazy how much I craved that game even though I knew it was terrible.
On more of a positive side I did some crazy stuff and I lost more than 80 pounds, mainly quit eating sugar and then started running regularly.
It really sucked, it was not fun, and it really made me feel terrible but I had to do it. Since I have sleep apnea I need to get healthy so my lungs don’t have to deal with the weight of the extra fat on my body. Plus since my mother’s side of the family has diabetes I thought it would be good to get ahead of things with my health.
But I think this last year I was able to do a lot more than what I though I would be able to do.
With my life getting crazy, I stood in the drive seat for once and it feels good. I think that with sleep apnea I let other people tell me what to do too much, and I wanted them to do that cause it made life easier.
However, film does not happen on it’s own. And as much I as I do love my parents and friends and co-workers not being creative people and not getting my life style it been really hard. As no one is going to hand me a job in film, this year I went out and made my own indie films. Cause the more I think about it pretty much every 80s flick I hold in high regards is another person’s idea that they just came up with… So why can’t I?
So this year I have gone out and did more networking than I have in my life, I had to put myself into really awkward situations. But because I dared to move forward and not let the pressures of society to rain down on me I have four short films I worked on and two of them I produced.
But what gets me really excited is that my senpais have notice me :] I am talking about Jonathan Holmes and Neiro because they went out of their way to really help me with a crazy idea I had and talk it though with me. It did not go anywhere, but I feel like I really got a lot closer to the Destructiod community and realize that I am not that far off from becoming the director/producer I want to be in the film world.
I made a terrible music video, which lead to me meeting my mentor, which lead to a bunch of jobs and then a documentary film I helped him with.
I use to be so afraid to go out and make mistakes, but I guess after all that I was too afraid to go out and live because even all of my friends and family thought I was crazy to go into an arts career. But I think my parents have more than ever been able to accept that I have talent and I need to use the talent because it is a vital source of myself that needs to be used.
Now that they have seen these videos they have been more supportive than ever and even call me out when I crawl back into my introverted hole to hide from the world.
All of this time, I have been looking for someone to affirm that I am not crazy and I have talent and this year I have found three people that really value my vision which is amazing.
But its so funny, the one thing that would have helped me move on is the one thing I never thought I had the strength to do: Make a short. But three months ago I knew I wanted to make a team for a short film contest in Phoenix hosted by the Independent Film Project Phoenix. (Which, they also run the Phoenix film festival)
I had worried since when I had registered the entire “A” listed team members I wanted were busy or already in one. But I called them and they were not busy, so I got the perfect team to create a story that I wanted to make.
We got best story, which at this level of filmmaking is probably the most important one. Considering there will always be people better at film making than you, but if you can control and create a story that people want… that is the fuel to the fire that made Hollywood work in the past… Now they just do as much CGI as possible.
Anyway here is a link to the video:
I will have to take it down in a few days cause I really want to send it to festivals, but I want you to see it. (Yes, I am talking to you check it out!)
This last year, I made some really good friends. But in the end only one of them is amazing. It would be the guy who went out of his way to play Contra Hard Corps on the Sega Genesis and beat Majora’s Mask on my Wii U. Just to say that doing that with him brought me back to my close nit group of friends I had in Kansas. He is in the army now, so we don’t hang out or talk as much but I would consider him a close friend as he goes out of his way to talk to me without me having to start the conversation.
Lets talk about gaming in my last year of life, well there is a new trend going on that September 1st has been a killer date for great IPs. Last year it was MGS5, this year it Axiom Verge on the Wii U. (Some times its awesome being born on the first day of the month)
Metal Gear Solid 5 is probably one of the best games I played last year, there is not much that could even stand up do it. I just had to put it down cause every time I played it literally 5 hours could melt in one mission if I wanted. Which made night shift impossible as it would be 4-5am and I felt like it was totally okay to be up then…
Wii U was fun, Super Mario 3D world is a really good game.
As a guy who plays Jazz, listens to Jazz, and wishes the world would listen to Jazz this game proves that the music genre is completely underappreciated. I was kind of sad that this stylized song only happened at the end of the game >< cause it is amazing and brought a tear to my eye because it would be a dream that I could play in a jazz orchestra like the Tokyo Symphony.
Kind of got frustrated trying to 100% this game and I have yet to do that but I am more than sure in the future this will be fixed.
There was just a ton of really good games this year. And there has not been nearly enough time to play them.
Anyway Whew… lot of words and I am tired.
Its going to be an awesome birthday