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Couple Adopts Child to Make Playing Pokemon GO Socially Acceptable

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One Louisiana couple did not go chasing Pokemon after the Nintendo’s newest smartphone application Pokemon GO launched last Wednesday. Their friend group reportedly would taunt them if they were to play the game.

“We didn’t know what to do,” said Jim Cannucks, longtime closet Pokemon fanatic. “With the handheld games, I could just hide at home and capture ’em all. But now, I actually had to reveal to other people that I like Pokemon. What would my friends think? I would be shunned!”

Jane Cannucks felt similarly. Each week she attended a tea session with her friends – many of which ridiculed the new smartphone app.

pokemon go2

“They would just laugh at all of the teens running around in parks at 3 am,” said Mrs. Cannucks. “Apparently, it’s not an entirely ‘cool’ thing to do. All these years I had to hide my love for Charmanderand Pikachu.”

After turning on an episode of the newest Pokemon show, however, everything changed. The couple found exactly the solution they were looking for.

“So, there was this commercial on an adoption thing or whatever,” the Louisiana-resident recalled. “I just turned to Jane and said: ‘This is it! This is our solution,’ you know. This is how we solve our problem!”

Later that day, the Cannucks gained a brand new member, 8-year-old Christopher Cannucks. Orphaned at age three, Chris waited five years before finding his forever family.

“If we have a kid, playing Pokemon will be socially acceptable,” said the new mother. “Now, we can just say: “you know, this isn’t mine, this is the kid’s.'”

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Christopher was equally enthused, ready for his all new life away from foster care.

“I’m really looking forward to having a forever family and making new friends,” the 8-year-old said. “It’s just so exciting to finally have a few people to really love and look out for me!”

“Yea, it’s a really great thing, you know. I feel like a good person,” said the new father while staring intently at his phone. “These poor Pidgeys never had a home before, and I’m giving them a nice one. If it weren’t for a fact that we brought back Chris, all these Pokemon wouldn’t have a home!”

We couldn’t contact Mrs. Cannucks for a closing comment. She ran off after a Kadabra that appeared.

“I just can’t wait till they get back!” said Christopher, waiting for his newfound parents to return from their first Pokemon GO adventure. “I’m sure this is just a temporary thing, then they’ll come back and we’ll play games and stuff!”

Satire.

- Keep gaming real.


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About Elia Palesone of us since 9:45 AM on 10.04.2014

Eli Pales owns pretty much every single product Nintendo puts out, and due to his impulsive tendencies, he also tends to purchase every gaming product put out in general. When not gaming, he’s probably running cross country or writing. He makes sure to take regular gaming breaks, though.
You can follow Elia on Twitter: @Paleselan