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LONG BLOG

A Beginner's Guide to Destructoid

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Hi there if you are what I think you are then you're new to Destructoid. ( If you're not I guess there nothing stopping you from reading this is there?) Perfect this guide will help you wizzing through Destructoid in no time when you follow these easy steps. I'm pretty new to this website so I had to learn these things too so let's go.


1: Making an Account

 To create an account first you'll have to click sign up, write your email address and create a secret new password that only you can now or you can make a random one and write the password somewhere. After that choose your fake name to be shown to the Destructoid community. And you're done but I highly recommend putting a picture on your account. To do this click on setting & contact on the top right corner and pick preferences and you be in a new page and from here click avatar. Now you upload a picture by choosing a file from your computer. (You can take one from the internet the saving the picture into your storage device/hardrive) Now you can comment away.


2: The Writers

Destructoid has whole bunch of writers from America to the U.K working for them I'll explain each some now.

  • Mr. Destructoid: The one and only God
  • Nerio: Owner and creator of this website so don't piss him off or he'll strike you down with the ban hammer.
  • Chris Carter: 50% of the time it's one of Chris's articles. He claims he human but i don't believe him no human can work that fast.
  • Jed Whitaker: You'll more recognise him for some controversial clickbait articles but his points fall onto deaf ears but at the end of day it's really hot air. (Between you and me I don't think he really care that much as he shows about these topics, it gets the clicks you know to keep this place funded but don't tell anyone ssshhhhh)
  • Vikki Blake: She comes from Wales. You do know where Wales is right? It attached to England and it's between England and Ireland... you do know where Ireland is right?
  • Jordan Devore: He was one founding members of Destructoid and written more than 10,000 articles but after his 10,000 one he acting like a hotshot now.
  • Johnathan Holmes: He hosts Sup Holmes every week on Sunday where he talk to people from the game industry on a podcast so pop by if like to learn more about the gaming industry. Not me however because my internet is shit #firstworldproblems
  • CJ Andriessen: He write true stories in his Fauxclusives. He truly a kind and honourable writer. It always wise to read the commenters to learn valuable insight however it always feels it's about to get gay in there.
  • Steven Hansen: If it's not Chris writing it's more likely Steven. He claims he date a Muppet but won't that cause I identity issues and him asking the never ending of question of "am I a maaaaannn or am I a muppet?"
  • Kyle MacGregor: A pretty swell guy.
  • Brett Makedonski: He made a reference to Arrested Development and people always get in my good books for that. If you haven't watched Arrested Development go and do it now.
  • Dealzon: A killbot who had a change of heart and decided to help mankind by finding discounts. We are all in his mercy.
  • And many more I won't bother talking about.

3: Comments, Shitposting and You

Now you have everything set up it's time to make some comments. These are ways to voice your opinion about the matter in hand or you can post a joke however with all game companies blunders today your jokes will only be outmatched them (Cough Capcom Cough) but it's still worth the chuckle so fire away. Maybe you'll gain a high achievement of getting your post featured or maybe you'll the highest achievement of getting your comment on the Comments of the Week blog done by our every own Dreamweaver.

Side note: Do not trust spam report it. You notice spam when you see some stupid job offer about someone's cousin or sister claims she makes XXX amount of money on her computer or advertisement about lawyers or a duck.

Shitposting is different kind of posting this involves random posts, making bait or simple trolling but hey it's all a laugh in the end. But be warned there a line you should not pass but chances are you'll never come near to it. Oh yeah did I mention the time I shot Abraham Lincoln?

3.5: Quick Posts

When you need to talk about anything but there's no resent article in sight feel free to pop down to the quick post page. Here you can post anything you feel like posting. Let it be your achievements, questions, a picture for catgirl Friday or a daily reminder of your waifu is shit. Spread some love by clicking a heart button to show you enjoy that post. You can get more love by killing monsters members following you.


3.9 HD Triple Remix: Community Blogs

If you're reading this I think you have an idea what a community blog is but for people don't know community is where you write your every own article on anything you feel like writing. It's brilliant spending your time, get something off your chest or give something back to the community.


4: Huge Membership

A huge member allows you look at the website in glorious 1080p. It also allows you to read exclusive articles, no ads, better mobile coverage and your picture will be shown before you reach the articles. To join pay whatever you feel like they deserve or what you can afford. Oh yeah did I mention you're put in a draw to win some awesome goodies.


5: The Great Waifu War
 Amazing photoshop skills

You are now trending some dangerous ground my friend this is no man's land. People have died defending their waifu not knowing it was shot one anyways. What's a waifu I see you tpying well a waifu is your digital significant other that you treat with respect. Search for your waifu by watching Japanese cartoons anime or playing video games like Fire Emblem Awakening or Fates. Or you can play Suikoden there's 108 recruitable characters so one of them might be your waifu. Not forcing you but should get Suikoden 2 for cheap on PSN store on PS3.

 

However things have gotten heated about our waifus in our community and war has been unleashed. However there is a prophecy that the one and true waifu will come from the heavens bring us to salvation and her name is Gardevior.

6: What to Avoid

  • Mind reading Occams's brain of infinite wisdom
  • Challenging Isay Isay to a comedy stand off
  • Visiting Nekro's "Playroom"
  • Being a prick
  • Picking the wrong Waifu

Hopefully you'll find this blog useful for your journey in Destructoid so get out there and enjoy yourself.

- Keep scrolling.


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About Luca Blightone of us since 8:42 AM on 02.28.2016