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LONG BLOG

Saved from Deadly Premonition By Crappy Porting

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I may have dodged a bullet. See husband was going to be gone for a few days so I decided to take a break from Ark and try playing something in my Steam backlog. After much debate I decided to go with the "so bad that it's good" Deadly Premonition Director's Cut. This was a mistake. 

Problems began immediately as I couldn't even get the game to launch. A quick internet search revealed that the port had been pretty shoddy so there were issues. Okay, click around a bit, download some stuff. Save the stuff somewhere and now I can get to the launcher. 

Why play a game I suspect will be terrible when it's already giving me trouble? I dunno, must be a masochist or something. Truthfully, I'd hoped it would be weird and fun. I've read that it's like Twin Peaks, which I've never seen, but I have played Alan Wake, which is also supposed to be like Twin Peaks and that was good. Okay, whatever, the concept was good and I had fun with the story and characters even if the controls were on par with shitty shopping carts. Point being, my standards of fun are odd and I've come to terms with that. 

So, after much ado I get the game running, and quickly become aware of an exciting new issue. The inventory system is totally borked. Whenever I find something I can either carry it with me to use or store it in a magic lockbox which I only occasionally have the ability to use. Seems fine, excpet that once something goes into the box, it is dead to me forever. It took about half an hour of clicking on different boxes and button combinations before I realized that something was amiss. 

I like games, but I'm not always great at playing them so when things go wrong I tend to believe it's due to a failing on my part. Finally when I realized I would need access to a weapon to proceed and said weapon was stuck in lockbox limbo I finally went back to the internet for a solution. Turns out, there isn't one. 

Sure there are suggestions and things that might work, but they didn't and despite being a PC gamer, I'm no computerologist. I played a bit more, but the more I read online the more there was to suggest that with the limited inventory system this inconvince was actually game breaking. For once I did the sane and logical thing and decided to walk away from Detective Francis York Morgan, whom I never got around to calling York. I have no idea what the coffee was trying to say or why I was an imaginary friend named Zach. This questions haunt me. 

Might still be for the best that I walk away from this before my curiosity drags me in too deep. Seriously though, what the FK with unplayable PC ports?

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About Zodiac Eclipseone of us since 2:52 PM on 10.07.2008

Also known as Zodiac Eclipse on the forums, Joanna is your friendly neighborhood MOMerator and former co-forum admin. Having done a fair share of community badassery Joanna now enjoys actually having time to play games and interact with her family, henceforth referred to as 'Husband' and 'Kiddo', respectively.





Proper Dtoid Name: Zodiac Eclipse

Occupation: MOMerator


Thanks for the title shot ZP

Destructoid had forums.



Promoted Blogs:

Plushtoid has arrived!

Being an RPG girl in a FPS world

Promoted Musings:

Expanded Universes: The rise and fail of fan fiction

Those about to die: Woodland Creatures

Untapped potential: The fight for Fallujah

Love/Hate: Casual Gaming


Quick facts:

*I have a degree in journalism advertising that I've never used.

*I work in a laboratory with people who do science. I mostly get in the way and keep up moral with my "unique" people skills.

*I met my husband on Star Wars Galaxies.

*I love RPG's, both Massively Multi-player and standard offline ones.

*I'm fascinated by survival horror games, but usually too chicken to play them.

*I dabble in all forms of nerdery so chances are if you're into something geeky so am I, though not to equal degrees.

*I used to make toys.





Currently Playing:
(so much) Ark Survival Evolved




Favorite Games:
Mass Effect 1 & 2 & 3, Portal, Final Fantasy VIII, The Witcher, Azure Dreams, Sims 1 & 2, Lego Star Wars, and other stuff I can't think of right now.




MMO's I've played:
SWG, Vanguard, Ryzom, EQ2, CoH/CoV, Guild Wars, LOTRO, Star Wars TOR, Conan, and millions (literally) of the freebie ones.




Community Awesomeness:

I've been interviewed by LawofThermalDynamics.

The wildly talented AlphaDeus made me a theme song. Momeration

I'm an element on the Destructoid periodic table. Thanks Corduroy Turtle


I got a card!


Thanks Qalamari


Steam ID:Zodiac_Eclipse


 

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