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The Forum Solution: Make me a Moderator!


Taken from our forums - while we still have them. After some other people decided to leave the website, as someone who will always stand by the site.  I submitted my application to be a moderator. Before we get into all this: I am on record supporting Destructoid, Niero, and being against GamerGate, but for more transparency within all games media. I've nothing against Niero personally, this isn't an attack on him, I merely want my questions answered, what is the Destructoid community to him? What is Destructoid to him? According to him, it is his website. I want to know why it feels like our website.  I feel like I need to question what is going on, but I can only do so with satiric humor and direct questions. I don't know from anything else. This isn't just his webste, it is our website. I joined because I felt like I belong here, because I felt community here. Those forum are part of our history, to lose them loses a piece of ourselves.

If elected, I will personally ban everything I don't like or do. Just like Something Awful, the internet's largest discussion forum.

No one will ever talk about drinking ever again ever. I don't approve of it and I don't like it at all, you mention liquors, beers, wines, or shines and you're banned. Nobody can talk about dope either.

Any talk about who was fired for what, you're gone, done.

I don't care what happened, one mention of it ad you're done.

Nobody talks about who is banging who or what gender anyone used to be, you're out, this is a video game website god dammit.

I don't want anyone to ever mention the front page again ever here on the forums. There will be no talk of the user blogs either.

Also, community becomes users everywhere, because that's what we are, users. This is clearly no longer a community website. Any mention of another user, staff member, or anyone named Jeff and you're fired. Also, nobody can ever talk about sombreros again, all that talk can go right out the door.

And anyone who tries to be funny, you're gone. I don't like comedy at all. This is a serious forum where we can only talk about video games, but only those that appeared on the Atar Jaguar, anything else and you're banned, you're family is banned, your followers are banned. You'll no longer be able to buy tickets from ticket master. You will not pass go, you will not collect two hundred dollars!

I would also ban all talk of bans. I'll make this website appeal to everyone by banning every discussion, everyone, and locking down everything. Nobody will ever say or do anything, it will be amazing if I'm put in charge I'm telling you, I know what I'm doing guys I have experience being a moderator before.

I was a moderator for years on some comic book forums and internet comic sites, including big ones like 8-bit Theater and others. You think gamer are bad? Honey, no. You don't know how awful the internet really can be. I stared into the abyss and the abyss winked at me.

I will allow people to post about professional wrestling, but only current WWE stars that are still under contract. Any mention of the WWF and you're banned. No TNA, no ROH, and no NJP/AJW will be allowed at all. There will be no discussions of dirt sheets or the wrestler's personal lives. I'll allow talk about Star Wars, but only the prequels. Magic the Gathering can be discussed, but only using the wing dings font with pink lettering. Dog can be discussed, but not corgis. I'll go ahead and start the first of several dozen Bonk threads I'm sure our users will be thrilled to post about! Anyone who posts on the site between midnight and six eastern time will be forced into a thread discussing the movie Zardoz. The thread is titled, Zardoz: Great movie or Greatest movie?

If given a position of power, I will use it. I will never ask any questions, but I will always do something. The only way to fix the problems we have is through force, which I'm not afraid to show.

The site might be owned and operate by a person, but it's all of us that make it our website.

Niero responded to me, not realizing I'm a woman, but that's okay I won't take that as an insult. He didn't mean it that way. He also doesn't realize I have done stand up comedy, but that's okay too, it wasn't like it was a personal attack. 

I am a comedian.

I decided to respond seriously, with direct questions.  Just like the Viper and the Mountain. I wanted to know what happened to our website and her children. I even gave Niero a reason why the forums should stick around, bringing up the time he talked about the adblock on the site.

Niero responds again, this time explaining he won't respond again that we should get contact informtion from our friends. This read like he's closing all of Destructoid? I'm confused by this, but the thread was locked and my private messages to Niero as as of yet unanswered. 

I'm going to type up a lot of words about Destructoid and post it later. I love you all so much, you're my brothers and sisters. You're my family. You're my comunity. 


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About randombullseyeone of us since 5:44 PM on 07.05.2008

"I am hoping that I can be known as a great writer and actor some day, rather than a sex symbol." - Words of wisdom from the deity Steven Seagal

"Existence is random. Has no pattern save what we imagine after staring at it too long. No meaning save what we choose to impose." - Alan Moore from Watchmen

My own writing reflects the opinion of every corporation, company, individual, monsters, and gods. Also, cocks!

Coming soon as an actual book you can buy The Bonerquest. Hopefully you'll buy a copy when I'm done with it.

Will you accept The Bonerquest?

Zombies Ate My Neighbors is the best game ever.

Read fun articles Josh (Charlie) wrote for Tomopop or Nukezilla! Professionalism! Also I did some news for Destructoid. Sort of a real writer!

Check out Josh Hayes, a name Charlie uses for journalism on the internet so that he can say silly personal things without the fear of them being exposed openly. That and to hide from people he knew who he don't want to find him, not no way, not no how.

Twitter, or Tumblr!

Old School Games articles are pretty much worth reading. They say write what you know.

X-Com UFO Defense

Zelda 2

X-Men Mutant Apocalypse

Dragon Warrior III

Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse

Final Fantasy 3 (Final Fantasy VI)

Way of the Samurai

Nick Arcade

We Love Katamari

Ninja Gaiden

Toejam & Earl

River City Ransom

Mega Man X

Pokemon Red/Blue

Yakuza series

Operation Darkness


X-Men 2: Clone Wars

Sweet Home

Legend of Dragoon

Clock Tower

Mystal Ninja/Ganabre Goemon series

Onimusha Warlords

Rockin' Kats


Spawn games

God Hand

Blood Will Tell

Super Godzilla


Animal Platformers

Robot Alchemic Drive (R.A.D.)

Buck Rodgers Countdown to Doomsday

Darkwing Duck

Shin Megami Tensei games (Persona, Devil Summoner, Devil Survivor)

Jurassic Park 2

Disgaea & other Nippon Ichi Games (Phantom Brave, Makai Kingdom, La Pucelle Tactics, Soul Nomad)

Twisted Tales of Spike Mcfang

Resident Evil

Legend of Kage

Lost Vikings

Devil May Cry

Comix Zone

X- Men

Threads of Fate

Mutant League Football

Mega Man 7

Castlevania 2

Sonic 2

Dragon Warrior 2

Donkey Kong Country

Spider-man & X-Men Arcades revenge




Splatterhouse 2

Elevator Action

Mega Man 6

Mega Man 5

Dig Dug

Mega Man 4

Mega Man 3

Mega Man 2

Rock Roll Racing


Mega Man

Beat Em Ups PART 6: Future

Beat Em Ups PART 5: Playstation 2/Xbox/Gamecube

Beat Em Ups PART 4: Playstation/Saturn

Beat Em Ups PART 3: Sega Genesis Super Nintendo

Beat Em Ups PART 2: Nintendo

Beat Em Ups PART 1: Arcade

Smash TV

Ghosts & Goblins


Werewolf Last Warrior


Dragon Warrior


Rolling Thunder

Splatterhouse 3

Doom Troopers

Demons Crest

Primal Rage

Zero Wing


G. I. Joe


Listen to Josh "randombullseye" Hayes on Destructoid's #1 bullshit podcast, Bulltoid! There were nearly fifty episodes in total, good luck.
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