Don't worry, this isn't a goodbye blog. That being said, I'm surprised that I'm even writing anything remotely close to one.
When Andy asked me to become one of the front page moderators, aka the "Disqus Deputies", I-don't-even-remember-how many years ago I took it with absolute pride because it was another way to help benefit a website I had grown to call my "internet home". I was one of the people chosen because I was apparently fairly level headed and could help enforce the rules. The rule I was given was simple, keep things orderly and (in short) help keep the community a good place. As ironic as it was, the three RoboCop "prime directives" (serve the public trust, protect the innocent, uphold the law) decently translated to what I would be doing so I decided to approach it from that perspective (with a little fun thrown in). Even though my duties and powers were only for the front page, and technically the cBlogs comments, I always tried to go the extra mile to try to protect/better the community everywhere. Lately however I've been watching a good loyal chunk of the community get torn apart, I don't feel like the community is being protected, and there's quite frankly nothing I can do about it. In short, it makes me feel like this.
I've been around Destructoid a long time - my first cBlog was in early 2008 (though it apparently doesn't exist anymore, the web goblins ate everything I wrote pre 2009) and I started lurking here sometime in 2007. I've been here longer than most gaming consoles have lifespans. So it goes without saying that I've seen a lot of shit around here. I've been here for multiple changing of the guards with the main staff, I've seen community members come and go, I've seen "mass exoduses" of the community as well. I can probably count the number of staff and community members who are still here from when I started with just my hands. There have been a lot of things I thought were stupid, mishandled, or simply didn't agree with - the "New Destructoid" botched website launch, an April Fool's Day gag that ended up cutting off the community from organizing Friday Night Fights and other community events, allowing Jim Sterling to basically post NSFW MS Paint images on the front page and consider it "content", and lots of other stuff that affected the community and website as a whole one way or another. None of that stuff was able to drive me off and didn't even really sour me on Destructoid as a whole when I came to visit it - mostly because the one constant, the community, always stayed awesome.
But after playing a little catch up and finding out what has been going on around here lately, as well as witnessing a lot of the fallout, I've finally found the experience that may have soured me finally. There have been things that were said and done that I am, quite frankly, shocked by. It's in general made me realize that I need a break, similar to what Isay needs, and hope that I come back refreshed and feeling better about things because right now I'm not having any fun being here.
To reiterate, this isn't a goodbye, but I'm probably going to have a noticably reduced presence here for a while. To Andy, Occams, and the other mods/deputies; if something comes up where you need some extra mods to keep an eye on things don't hesitate to get a hold of me - I'm not going to abandon that duty, nor do I want to. Destructoid community, you guys are fucking awesome. But as of right now, I just need to get away from here for a while.