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Mobile Developers Worried Nintendo Might Steal Ideas They Stole From Nintendo

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A cabal of iOS and Android developers held a press conference today expressing their concern over Nintendo’s entrance into the mobile market; suggesting the gaming giant will try to copy many of the gameplay ideas and characters these mobile developers have been pilfering from Nintendo for nearly 10 years.

More than 37 developers, including the creators of such shameless cash-ins as Front Wars, Zenforms: Protectors, Megatroid, Fright Fight, Era’s Adventures, Lep’s World and Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed; attended the press conference. The goal of the media event was to show solidarity amongst the shady developers in their belief to the right of cashing-in on Nintendo’s absence in the mobile market.

“We just want to make sure that Nintendo knows they can’t piggyback on our success because we’re already piggybacking on theirs,” said Jiang Zhi, creator of 3D Cartoon Land: Safari. “If they try to jump on our backs while we’re on theirs someone is going to fall down and skin their knees.”

“Is our top game, Banana Kong, a Donkey Kong Country rip-off?” asked Thomas Kern of FDG-Entertainment. “Sure, it has Kong in the name, your character collects bananas, and you race through jungles and across treetops and ride animals that can break through bricks with their image on them. But there are also a lot of original ideas in the game too.” When asked to name one original idea in his game, Mr. Kern stood up and leapt out an open window.

Many worried that Nintendo’s efforts to protect kids might hurt their ability to take advantage of them.

“How am I supposed to make a living if I can’t trick children with copied Nintendo graphics?” pondered the founder of Mario Games Casas Team. “Our premiere title, Super Monster Bros By Adventure Time Pocket Free Games, charges players hundreds of dollars for menial crap. I don’t want Nintendo coming into our space with their ‘copyrighted’ images and characters, driving down the value of mobile games. The last thing we need is some race to the bottom where I can no longer charge $99 to unlock a single character the second you open my app.”

In a related story, several developers have launched a preemptive lawsuit against Nintendo, looking for a declaration that their mobile games do not violate the other parties’ rights and that “Nintendo does not have an interest in the copyright of many of their classic characters sufficient to confer standing on them to pursue claims of infringement.” Also known as the “Robin Thicke Offensive,” the lawsuit seeks to legitimize the completely original origins of the following, 100% real iOS & Android characters: Dario, Super Maria, Andrio, Jario, Rufio, Monino, Daddio, Bob Bros and Princess Zanda.

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About CJ Andriessenone of us since 6:56 PM on 10.14.2014

Just what the internet needs: yet another white guy writing about video games.
Also, I backed that Bloodstained game.