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LONG BLOG

To heel, or not to heel.

   0

By Porklet
Played on a PS4

Cool gals don't look at explosions.

After playing The Assignment, the first of three installments for The Evil Within, and looking back at Ada Wong in the Resident Evil series, I'm starting to think that game director Shinji Mikami might have a thing for double agent women in high heels.

 
Though high heels can be greatly weaponized, how practical are they in a survival horror setting where your focus should be on running from baddies?

Don't touch me, bro!

In The Assaignment, you play as Julie Kidman, a mysterious woman with shady intentions who also happens to be partnered with the main character detective Sebastian Castellanos and his peon Joseph Oda.
 
The point of the DLC, that was released on March 10, is to help players fill in the morbid puzzle left behind by the core game that was released about six months prior -- and the spotlight is all on Kidman.
 
Anyone wanting to play the four-hour addition to the series may notice there is one thing that stands out more than Kidman's single flashlight inventory.
 
Come on. You can guess it. I'm sure if you played The Assignment you turned around several times to make sure there wasn't a horse behind you.
 
That's right folks, Kidman's obnoxiously loud shoes are always clattering down every hallway and corridor.

That's right Kidman. Keep on clacking away.

But luckily Kidman has the special ability to silence her noisy feet whenever she is sneaking. Which helps because there isn't a whole lot working in your favor with this game.
 
For those of you unfamiliar with the game, it has a lot of oh-god-I-didn't-mean-to-press-that and holy-crap-why-is-that-so-loud moments. 
 
But that's what we love, am I right?
 
So going back to the shoes, I just can't see why anyone in law enforcement position would wear high heels.
 
On one hand they're perfect for stomping on heads or giving someone a good kick to the ribs. But when it comes to outdoor terrain and trying to be stealthy, it seems more like a nuisance than a perk.

I stand corrected.

Kidman however still manages through four hours of gameplay just fine. And hey, if I didn't have hairy hobbit feet, I'd probably wear something as stylish too.
 
Overall, I give the DLC three hambones out of three, because odds are, if you enjoyed the game you'll want to add this digital download to your collection, you little piggy.
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About Boxed Swineone of us since 2:59 PM on 12.11.2012

It all started with Jebediah Swine, a real salt of the earth man who farmed truffles. He was eventually cut down by an angry mob for having coitus with a pig.

From their unholy union came Beelzebub Swine, known for terrorizing the land until his untimely death at the hands of a jealous barmaid. He was later turned into bacon.

Part of his soul was digested and reincarnated as Ichabod Swine, the great detective and specialist of the occult. He said that all that has happened was part of some prophecy to bring back ancient, evil Gods. No one really cared to listen.

Like, eight generations later, there is me.

I am an Eldritch Horror from the interweb long forgotten. Beware as you enter the Palace of Swine!