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LONG BLOG

Pre-Order DLC For My Next Article

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What's up my fellow D-Tards?! It's me, the Gay one, with a quick heads up about my next article. This blog post is one I have been planning for a long while and I'm very excited to announce here today that my next piece will be called "Nintendo Installs Drinking Fountain that Dispenses the Tears of Mother 3 Fans." Exciting, no? I have spent the last eight months writing this piece so I hope you all love it as much as I do. Hell, there's even a chance it might end up on the front page!

Now before this piece drops I'm giving all of my fans an opportunity to get more out of this article with some DLC*. For casual readers or fans on a tight budget, rest assured you'll be getting a full article when it's published; but for those of you who want a little more I am happy to announce some DLC options that will give you much more than what comes with the regular article. Here's a look at some of the DLC packages you can pre-order today:

  • Crap on Capcom: For just $5 you'll get access to a joke where I make fun of Capcom for using the tears of Mega Man fans as lubricant at its octopus sex parties.
  • Eviscerate EA: For $6 you'll get the opportunity to read a sentence where I hurl vulgarities at EA.
  • Make an Ass out of Activision: At a discounted price of $6 you'll receive two sentences about me pissing all over Destiny.
  • Proper Punctuation Pack: Priced at just $10 you'll get three of my past articles updated with corrected spelling and punctuation.
  • StarTropics Sampler: For $15 you'll see what the article is like when I talk about StarTropics' fans instead of Mother 3 fans!
  • It's About to Get DLC In Here: Get access to all the DLC for just $41. That's a savings of $1 versus buying each piece of DLC individually. Buying all the DLC together also gets you an additional paragraph that is the true ending of the article!

So what are you waiting for? Pre-order today so you're prepared for the big article launch!

*Just a reminder: none of the DLC listed above is included in the Season Pass for this article, which retails for $19.99 and includes four additional paragraphs that will be published at a later date as well as two free costumes.

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About CJ Andriessenone of us since 6:56 PM on 10.14.2014

Just what the internet needs: yet another white guy writing about video games.