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New Ubisoft Review Policy: F**k It, We�ll Write Them For You

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In wake of the Assassin’s Creed: Unity review debacle, Ubisoft announced today that from now on, they’ll just write the reviews themselves.

The policy, set to go into effect with next year’s Tom Clancy’s The Division, was decided upon in an unanimous vote by members of the Ubisoft advertising department. Under the new review policy, certified video game websites like BioGamer Girl, Action Trip and Hobby Consolas will receive the pre-written reviews 10 days before the game is released for immediate publication, while review copies of the game will be sent out 10 weeks after the game is in stores.

“This is the future and it is spectacular,” said Peter Moore, COO of Electronic Arts when he first heard of the new policy. EA, Activision Blizzard and Deep Silver are all said to be looking into similar ideas for reviews on their future games.

“We want to make sure when players read these reviews they’re getting the full picture about the game,” says Ubisoft CEO Yves Guillemot. “Who better to tell the reader everything they need to know than the developers who worked for years to put the title together? This new policy will not only provide gamers with an objective and detailed overview of the broken, husk of a video game we’re shipping to stores; but also give insight into the 27 patches we’re working on concurrently to make our games somewhat playable down the line. But don't worry, none of that will factor into how we score them.”

Ubisoft decided to go with the new review policy after doing a trial run of the idea with Watch Dogs for the Wii U. Scores for that game range from 5/10 to 7/10, with most reviews giving glowing praise to the gameplay but heavily criticizing the Wii U hardware as “unnecessarily complicated,” “a waste of resources,” and “not next-geny enough.”

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About CJ Andriessenone of us since 6:56 PM on 10.14.2014

Just what the internet needs: yet another white guy writing about video games.