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LONG BLOG

Jeff the Killer sucks (Part 2)

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: This was intended to be a Halloween piece, but I got severely held up in finishing it. Be warned, this post contains a few scary pictures from shock sites, so if you are sensitive to that kind of thing, please proceed with caution.

 

 

Greetings, fellow horror fans, and welcome to part two of my full Jeff the Killer commentary.

If you missed part one, here's the basic rundown: Creepy Pasta are those scary short stories that hobby writers like to post online to scare their internet friends. They are usually presented as firsthand accounts, often urban legend type deals, and usually have freaky twist endings. Think Slender Man, BEN Drowned, that kind of thing.

Personally, I love this stuff. But there is one very famous Creepy Pasta that has been floating around for a while. It has a huge fan following and is considered to be one of the classics. That Pasta is Jeff the Killer, and despite its fame, it's actually pretty terrible. So to celebrate the Halloween season (yeah, yeah, I'm two weeks late, but it's never too late for horror!) I'm doing a full commentary.

For more information on this pasta and to see the first half of the commentary, move your mouse over these words and push the button on it.

Now, when we last left our heroes, Jeff's brother Liu had just been arrested after taking the blame when Jeff beat up some local bullies. After several days of sulking, Jeff has just been awoken one bright morning by his mother.

 

“Jeff, it’s the day.” she said as she opened up the curtains and let light flood into his room.

Yes, it's the day. Before it was the night, but now it is the morning. Would you like to come to the downstairs and eat the breakfast before the noon?

“What, what’s today?” asked Jeff as he stirs awake.

“Why, it’s Billy’s party.” He was now fully awake.

“Mom, you’re joking, right? You don’t expect me to go to some kid’s party after…” There was a long pause.

“Jeff, we both know what happened. I think this party could be the thing that brightens up the past days. Now, get dressed.” Jeff’s mother walked out of the room and downstairs to get ready herself. He fought himself to get up. He picked out a random shirt and pair of jeans and walked down stairs. He saw his mother and father all dressed up; his mother in a dress and his father in a suit. He thought, why they would ever wear such fancy clothes to a kid’s party?

How do you "pick out" a random shirt? To pick something out means it is deliberately selected, which is the exact opposite of random. I assume this means he just grabbed a shirt out of his closet without paying attention, but if that's the case, he didn't pick it out. Alternatively, maybe the "random" aspect is a quality of the shirt rather than his actions. Maybe the shirt magically changes color and pattern of its own accord with no rhyme or reason, making it a random shirt. Yeah, I like that explanation. For the rest of this scene, I'm just going to picture Jeff wearing a shirt that is perpetually transforming.

Also, that last sentence is not phrased as a question.

“Son, is that all your going to wear?” said Jeff’s mom.

“Better than wearing too much.” he said. His mother pushed down the feeling to yell at him and hid it with a smile.

“Now Jeff, we may be over-dressed, but this is how you go if you want to make an impression.” said his father. Jeff grunted and went back up to his room.

“I don’t have any fancy clothes!” he yelled down stairs.

“Just pick out something.” called his mother. He looked around in his closet for what he would call fancy. He found a pair of black dress pants he had for special occasions and an undershirt. He couldn’t find a shirt to go with it though. He looked around, and found only striped and patterned shirts. None of which go with dress pants. Finally he found a white hoodie and put it on.

Oh. Never mind about the shirt then, I guess. What was the point of that? Seriously, what does this whole wardrobe fiasco add to the story? This is one of the longest scenes in the story, and it's about Jeff putting on a sweatshirt. My guess is the intended purpose here is to paint Jeff as being awkward, that he doesn't quite fit in with his parents. The problem is that this is one of the most asinine possible ways to show it. Furthermore, it makes the parents out to be complete buffoons while showing Jeff to be an entitled little brat. Which is exactly what they are, except it's not done in a good way. The reason these characters come off like that is not because they are intentionally being developed as such but because the story is doing a piss poor job at actually building three dimensional personalities.

“You’re wearing that?” they both said. His mother looked at her watch. “Oh, no time to change. Let’s just go.” She said as she herded Jeff and his father out the door. They crossed the street over to Barbara and Billy’s house. They knocked on the door and at it appeared that Barbara, just like his parents, way over-dressed. As they walked inside all Jeff could see were adults, no kids.

Of course they are all over dressed, because that's how grown-ups act in real life, right?

“The kids are out in the yard. Jeff, how about you go and meet some of them?” said Barbara.

Jeff walked outside to a yard full of kids. They were running around in weird cowboy costumes and shooting each other with plastic guns. He might as well be standing in a Toys R Us. Suddenly a kid came up to him and handed him a toy gun and hat.

Aren't I so cool? I don't have time for stupid baby things like Toys 'R Us. That crap is for babies, and I'm almost thirteen! Also, there's another human being suddenly appearing. The kid was playing on the other side of the yard and BAMF! Wanna pway?

“Hey. Wanna pway?” he said.

OH MYLANTA HE ACTUALLY DID IT. THE WRITER ACTUALLY JUST TYPED OUT THE WORD "PWAY."

“Ah, no kid. I’m way too old for this stuff.” The kid looked at him with that weird puppydog face.

“Pwease?” said the kid. “Fine,” said Jeff. He put on the hat and started to pretend shoot at the kids. At first he thought it was totally ridiculous, but then he started to actually have fun. It might not have been super cool, but it was the first time he had done something that took his mind off of Liu. So he played with the kids for a while, until he heard a noise. A weird rolling noise. Then it hit him. Randy, Troy, and Keith all jumped over the fence on their skateboards. Jeff dropped the fake gun and ripped off the hat. Randy looked at Jeff with a burning hatred.

This writer has no idea how paragraphs work. That is actually making it hard to comment on individual issues because I don't want to break up a paragraph but each one has about eight million different things wrong with it.

" “Pwease?” said the kid. "
As mentioned above, this is really stupid. I want to rant about it, but just isn't worth it.

" “Fine,” said Jeff. "
This should be a new paragraph. Actually, every other sentence should be a new paragraph, but this is the most obvious.

" At first he thought it was totally ridiculous, but then he started to actually have fun. It might not have been super cool, but it was the first time he had done something that took his mind off of Liu. "
This is that clumsy, half-conversational tone that keeps popping up.

" So he played with the kids for a while, until he heard a noise. "
That doesn't make any sense. Were there not plenty of noises while playing? Is this actually some kind of mime party, everything was completely silent until there came one noise? Did Jeff just stop dead the instant he heard it? Obviously Jeff just heard something odd that diverted his attention, but this sentence makes it sound as though he just froze at some random noise. I'm picturing Jeff as some small animal - a chipmunk, maybe - going stealthily about it's business, hearing a rustling in the bushes, then snapping to attention.

" A weird rolling noise. "
What exactly is a "rolling" noise? I've heard thunder described as "rolling," but "rolling" itself is not a noise.

 " Then it hit him. "
What hit him? The noise?

" Randy, Troy, and Keith all jumped over the fence on their skateboards. "
Ah, okay, I get it now. The reason it was a rolling sound is because that's exactly what it was. No, you can't do that. That is cheating. If you are going to be vague and build suspense about the noise, you can't describe it by saying exactly what it is. That's like saying:

I looked out my window and saw an odd shadow. I couldn't tell what it was, but it was shaped kind of like a masked serial killer holding a machete. So I shined a light on it, only to reveal that it was a maked serial killer holding a machete!

There's another thing that bothers me about that sentence. How did the bullies jump over a fence? Let's think about this. I don't know how high the fence is, but it had to be tall enough that Jeff couldn't see them coming (then again, with the way people teleport around in this universe, you never know.) Now these kids are stated to be around twelve years old, so even if we are conservative about their heights, I assume the fence would have to be at least five feet tall. Furthermore, I don't know what is on the other side of the fence, but considering this is an average suburban neighborhood, I think it's safe to say that it's not a huge ramp aimed directly at private property.

So in other words, these kids just did an even more ridiculous version of this:

 

 

All right. With the reappearance of the bullies, we are getting to our climax. This is the final showdown, the end battle. Get ready, people, because we are about the crank the diarrhea dial up to eleven.

“Hello, Jeff, is it?” he said. “We have some unfinished business.” Jeff saw his bruised nose.” I think we’re even. I beat the crap out of you, and you get my brother sent to JDC.”

Paragraphs! You're doing them wrong! (And lot's of other things, too.)

Randy got an angry look in his eyes. “Oh no, I don’t go for even, I go for winning. You may have kicked our asses that one day, but not today.” As he said that Randy rushed at Jeff. They both fell to the ground. Randy punched Jeff in the nose, and Jeff grabbed him by the ears and head butted him. Jeff pushed Randy off of him and both rose to their feet. Kids were screaming and parents were running out of the house. Troy and Keith both pulled guns out of their pockets.

Ding ding ding! Round one begins! Jeff and Randy start wrestling around. This gets the attention of the grown-ups, so tweedle dee and tweedle dum pull out guns, at which point I also pull out a gun and shoot my computer monitor for displaying this crap.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Why do they have guns? Why do two twelve-year-old kids from a suburban neighborhood have guns? I'm not trying to say that kids aren't capable of heinous acts of violence and couldn't get a gun somehow. In this day and age of school shootings, that's never been more obvious. The very point of this story is to examine how somebody could come to that point. Yet here are these kids, run of the mill school bullies, who just show up and whip out pistols like it ain't no thing.

This should be a huge deal. I mean, like I said, the entire story is supposed to building up to Jeff crossing that line. Yet Randy and co. do it with such nonchalance that it nukes the threshold of absurdity. This story puts armed robbery and attempted murder on the same tier as wedgies and swirlies.

“No one interrupts or guts will fly!” they said. Randy pulled a knife on Jeff and stabbed it into his shoulder.

See that first part? That's important. Know why? Because that is the only point in this entire episode that addresses the idea of somebody else getting involved. From this point forward, the adults do nothing until the fight is over. Nobody yells at the kids, tries to talk them down, calls the police, runs for help, or even panics. The bullies (KIDS!) say "don't move," and the entire group of grown adults shuts right down and does absolutely nothing.

Jeff screamed and fell to his knees. Randy started kicking him in the face. After three kicks Jeff grabs his foot and twists it, causing Randy to fall to the ground. Jeff stood up and walked towards the back door. Troy grabbed him.

“Need some help?” He picks Jeff up by the back of the collar and throws him through the patio door. As Jeff tries to stand he is kicked down to the ground. Randy repeatedly starts kicking Jeff, until he starts to cough up blood.

“Come on Jeff, fight me!” He picks Jeff up and throws him into the kitchen. Randy sees a bottle of vodka on the counter and smashes the glass over Jeff’s head.

“Fight!” He throws Jeff back into the living room.

“Come on Jeff, look at me!” Jeff glances up, his face riddled with blood. “I was the one who got your brother sent to JDC! And now you’re just gonna sit here and let him rot in there for a whole year! You should be ashamed!” Jeff starts to get up.

Back at the beginning, I pointed how the narration randomly switches between past and present tense for no reason. This has continued to periodically throughout the whole pasta, but this little fight scene kicks it into overdrive. It's like their battle is so epic that it breaks time, or maybe the narrator is actually Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen.

“Oh, finally! you stand and fight!” Jeff is now to his feet, blood and vodka on his face. Once again he gets that strange feeling, the one in which he hasn’t felt for a while. “Finally. He’s up!” says Randy as he runs at Jeff. That’s when it happens. Something inside Jeff snaps. His psyche is destroyed, all rational thinking is gone, all he can do, is kill. He grabs Randy and pile drives him to the ground. He gets on top of him and punches him straight in the heart. The punch causes Randy’s heart to stop. As Randy gasps for breath. Jeff hammers down on him. Punch after punch, blood gushes from Randy’s body, until he takes one final breath, and dies.

Here it is, folks! The moment you've all been waiting for, the ture genesis of Jeff the Killer! That weird feeling finally breaks free, and Jeff hulks out and murders a kid. How does he do it? Stabbing him? Nope, not Jeff, he's too cool for that. He punches Randy straight in the heart. Yes, straight in the heart. Not the chest, the heart. Jeff just used his time-warping teleporting kung-fu psycho powers to bypass Randy's skin, pecs, sternum, and whatever else, and punch him in the heart.

Everyone is looking at Jeff now. The parents, the crying kids, even Troy and Keith. Although they easily break from their gaze and point their guns at Jeff. Jeff see’s the guns trained on him and runs for the stairs. As he runs Troy and Keith let out fire on him, each shot missing. Jeff runs up the stairs. He hears Troy and Keith follow up behind. As they let out their final rounds of bullets Jeff ducks into the bathroom. He grabs the towel rack and rips it off the wall. Troy and Keith race in, knives ready.

I don't understand how everyone could be looking at Jeff now. The rest of the group was outside while Jeff and Randy brawled their way indoors. So that means that at some point, the entire birthday congregation must have formed a single-file line and walked inside to watch the fun.

So now the other two are after him with guns, and Jeff can also dodge bullets apparently. During this time, while the kids are distracting, the adults are continuing to do jack-all.

Troy swings his knife at Jeff, who backs away and bangs the towel rack into Troy’s face. Troy goes down hard and now all that’s left is Keith. He is more agile than Troy though, and ducks when Jeff swings the towel rack. He dropped the knife and grabbed Jeff by the neck. He pushed him into the wall. A thing of bleach fell down on top of him from the top shelf. It burnt both of them and they both started to scream. Jeff wiped his eyes as best as he could. He pulled back the towel rack and swung it straight into Keith’s head. As he lay there, bleeding to death, he let out an ominous smile.

A thing of bleach? A thing of bleach. A THING of bleach. Were the words "container" or "jug" or "bottle" too complex? That is just beautiful. This pasta has just made sucking into an art form.

If I can offer a tip, please don't ever describe anything as "ominous." Nothing says "I'm trying way too fucking hard" like straight up calling something "ominous."

“What’s so funny?” asked Jeff. Keith pulled out a lighter and switched it on. “What’s funny,” he said, “Is that you’re covered in bleach and alcohol.” Jeff’s eyes widened as Keith threw the lighter at him. As soon as the flame made contact with him, the flames ignited the alcohol in the vodka. While the alcohol burned him, the bleach bleached his skin. Jeff let out a terrible screech as he caught on fire. He tried to roll out the fire but it was no use, the alcohol had made him a walking inferno. He ran down the hall, and fell down the stairs. Everybody started screaming as they saw Jeff, now a man on fire, drop to the ground, nearly dead. The last thing Jeff saw was his mother and the other parents trying to extinguish the flame. That’s when he passed out.

That's not how burns work. Or bleach. Or physics. Yes, alcohol is flammable. No, it wouldn't turn him into a "walking inferno." The stupidest thing about this, aside from everything else about it, is the idea of Jeff's skin getting "bleached." Bleach is corrosive. It doesn't just turn things white, it breaks down and destroys whatever is giving it the color. If you got it on your skin, assuming it was potent enough to do anything, it wouldn't dye it white. It would cause a chemical burn. As in, red and blistering and pain. Which is a moot point in this context, since Jeff is apparently so on fire that he looks like the Human Torch.

When Jeff woke he had a cast wrapped around his face. He couldn’t see anything, but he felt a cast on his shoulder, and stitches all over his body. He tried to stand up, but he realized that there was some tube in his arm, and when he tried to get up it fell out, and a nurse rushed in.

“I don’t think you can get out of bed just yet.” she said as she put him back in his bed and re-inserted the tube. Jeff sat there, with no vision, no idea of what his surroundings were. Finally, after hours, he heard his mother.

In the first paragraph we see that Jeff has a Daredevil-level sense of touch, being able to feel casts (by the way, casts don't "wrap,) the exact number of stitches in his body, and even knowing that there is a tube in his arm. In the next paragraph he suddenly doesn't know what his surroundings are. So where does he think he is then? It also implies that he's just left to sit there until his mother shows up hours later. Do no doctors come in? No nurses try to comfort him? Are his parents so callous that they can't be assed to look into their own son's well being? Oh, wait...

“Honey, are you okay?” she asked. Jeff couldn’t answer though, his face was covered, and he was unable to speak. “Oh honey, I have great news. After all the witnesses told the police that Randy confessed of trying to attack you, they decided to let Liu go.” This made Jeff almost bolt up, stopping halfway, remembering the tube coming out of his arm. “He’ll be out by tomorrow, and then you two will be able to be together again.”

" Honey, are you okay? "
Peachy. Never been better.

" Jeff couldn't answer though ... "
Makes sense.

" ... his face was covered ... "
Yeah. We got that.

" ... and he was unable to speak. "
Does the author think we're stupid? We got it the first time.

Yay! Liu is out of trouble now! Isn't our justice system great?

Jeff’s mother hugs Jeff and says her goodbyes. The next couple of weeks were those where Jeff was visited by his family. Then came the day where his bandages were to be removed. His family were all there to see it, what he would look like. As the doctors unwrapped the bandages from Jeff’s face everyone was on the edge of their seats. They waited until the last bandage holding the cover over his face was almost removed.

“Let’s hope for the best,” said the doctor. He quickly pulls the cloth; letting the rest fall from Jeff’s face.

Jeff’s mother screams at the sight of his face. Liu and Jeff’s dad stare awe-struck at his face.

There was a very famous episode of The Twilight Zone that played out similar to the above. This story is also like the Twilight zone, as in it sucks so hard that it is in the same zone as Twilight. What is going on? Did they do surgery or something? I don't get it. I'm asking way too many questions this late in the story. I'm just so baffled that I'm beyond analysis at this point.

“What? What happened to my face?” Jeff said. He rushed out of bed and ran to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and saw the cause of the distress. His face. It…it’s horrible. His lips were burnt to a deep shade of red. His face was turned into a pure white color, and his hair singed from brown to black. He slowly put his hand to his face. It had a sort of leathery feel to it now. He looked back at his family then back at the mirror.

This pasta. It...it's horrible. Once again, that's not how any of that stuff works. The first thing that is stupid here is how he rushed out of bed like that, but whatever. Yes, skin does turn red what it's burned. That makes sense. It doesn't work like permanent lipstick, though. I've already talked about how stupid the idea of his face being "bleached white" is.

The dumbest part of this, though, is the hair. As anybody who has ever had trouble starting a grill can tell you, THAT IS NOW HOW BURNED HAIR WORKS. Yes, it turns black because it's charred, and then it crumbles into ash. Because that's what happens to stuff when it's burnt. Even more ridiculous, why does there even need to be an explanation for this? Can't he just have black hair?

“Jeff,” said Liu, “It’s not that bad….”

“Not that bad?” said Jeff,” It’s perfect!” His family were equally surprised. Jeff started laughing uncontrollably His parents noticed that his left eye and hand were twitching.

“Uh… Jeff, are you okay?”

“Okay? I’ve never felt more happy! Ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa, look at me. This face goes perfectly with me!” He couldn’t stop laughing. He stroked his face feeling it. Looking at it in the mirror. What caused this? Well, you may recall that when Jeff was fighting Randy something in his mind, his sanity, snapped. Now he was left as a crazy killing machine, that is, his parents didn’t know.

“Doctor,” said Jeff’s mom, “Is my son… alright, you know. In the head?”

“Oh yes, this behavior is typical for patients that have taken very large amounts of pain killers. If his behavior doesn’t change in a few weeks, bring him back here, and we’ll give him a psychological test.”

“Oh thank you doctor.” Jeff’s mother went over to Jeff.” Jeff, sweety. It’s time to go.”

Jeff looks away from the mirror, his face still formed into a crazy smile. “Kay mommy, ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa!” his mother took him by the shoulder and took him to get his clothes.

Yeah, he's fine. We just took the bandages off five seconds ago, he has very serious facial injuries, and is either high off his ass or psychologically disturbed or both, but yeah, he's good to go.

“This is what came in,” said the lady at the desk. Jeff’s mom looked down to see the black dress pants and white hoodie her son wore. Now they were clean of blood and now stitched together. Jeff’s mother led him to his room and made him put his clothes on. Then they left, not knowing that this was their final day of life.

Yes, hospitals usually do give you back the stuff you had when you came in. I doubt they take the time to stitch it back together, though. This also makes me wonder how they were salvagable to begin with, considering Jeff was last seen as a "walking inferno." Then again, with the way fire seems to behave in this universe, I guess I should just be glad his shirt hasn't morphed into a goth trench coat or something. Maybe the Thing of Bleach fixed his clothes.

Later that night, Jeff’s mother woke to a sound coming from the bathroom. It sounded as if someone was crying. She slowly walked over to see what it was. When she looked into the bathroom she saw a horrendous sight. Jeff had taken a knife and carved a smile into his cheeks.

I'll save you the trip to Wikipedia: Yes, it came out the same year.

“Jeff, what are you doing?” asked his mother.

Jeff looked over to his mother. “I couldn’t keep smiling mommy. It hurt after awhile. Now, I can smile forever. Jeff’s mother noticed his eyes, ringed in black.

“Jeff, your eyes!” His eyes were seemingly never closing.

“I couldn’t see my face. I got tired and my eyes started to close. I burned out the eyelids so I could forever see myself; my new face.” Jeff’s mother slowly started to back away, seeing that her son was going insane. “What’s wrong mommy? Aren’t I beautiful?

Credit where credit is due: Jeff's explanation is a little creepy. If Stephen King had written something like that, it would have been awesome. Sadly, it's wasted in the nasty pile of nonsense that this pasta has become.

“Yes son,” she said, “Yes you are. L-let me go get daddy, so he can see your face.” She ran into the room and shook Jeff’s dad from his sleep. “Honey, get the gun we…..” She stopped as she saw Jeff in the doorway, holding a knife.

GET THE GUN? ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW? You're shitting me. This pasta is literally shitting me. My physical being is literally being expelled from its anal sphincter. Yes, he murders them in the next sentence, but at the time was hurting nobody but himself. His mother's reaction should be to scream, run to him, scoop him in her arms, comfort her baby boy, call an ambulance. Instead, with no prompting at all, she calmly goes to her husband and tells him to "get the gun."

"Wake up, Pete. Get your gun, I think our son has gone insane. Naw, don't bother emergency services. We had a good run but we have to draw the line somewhere. We'll tell Liu we sent him to live on a farm upstate."

It's a good thing he didn't come out of the closet as gay or something. They probably would have sent him to a labor camp.

“Mommy, you lied.” That’s the last thing they hear as Jeff rushes them with the knife, gutting both of them.

Really? That's the last thing they heard? So, they didn't hear footsteps and neither of the parents made a single peep while Jeff was murdering them. Furthermore, insane or not, there is no reason why two capable adults should not be able to overpower a thirteen-year-old kid in a straight-up fight, especially one who is suffering from greivous injuries, including having no eyelids. Of course, given how they reacted during the fight with the bullies, they probably didn't even try.

His brother Liu woke up, startled by some noise. He didn’t hear anything else, so he just shut his eyes and tried to go back to sleep. As he was on the border of slumber, he got the strangest feeling that someone was watching him. He looked up, before Jeff’s hand covered his mouth. He slowly raised the knife ready to plunge it into Liu. Liu thrashed here and there trying to escape Jeff’s grip.

First, what noise woke Liu up? His parents' murders were clearly portrayed as silent, so either there was nothing for Liu to hear, or the narration lied to us. Or the writing sucks. Second, Jeff overpowers Liu far too easily. Jeff holds Liu down with one hand despite Liu thrashing around and fighting as hard as he can to get out of it. It isn't like Jeff is sitting on him or something, he's just pressing on Liu's mouth with one hand. The only way this would be possible was if Jeff had some kind of superhuman strength.

Or if the writing sucks.

“Shhhhhhh,” Jeff said,”Just go to sleep.”

A th- th- thththat's all folks!

 

WatchMojo, a group that makes Top 10 YouTube videos, once named this the second scariest creepy pasta behind Slender Man. They were clearly pandering, and the descriptions sums it up perfectly: "After being badly burned in a fight with some local kids, the once innocent Jeff lost his sanity upon seeing his scarred face. After carving a smile onto his mouth and cutting off his eyelids, he viciously killed his mother, father, and brother." Look at how it downplays so much of the story. Yes, that is technically what happened, but it glosses over almost the entire thing.

In other words, they knew it was bad. They didn't want to lie to the audience or try to spice up the narrative, so they glossed over it. Even the Creepy Pasta Wiki deleted it from their site "as per Quality Control." There is no mistaking it, it is terrible in every way.

The actual writing, as in the phrasing and mechanics, is deplorable. There was so much that I didn't comment on because it would be too time consuming and it wasn't worth it. The whole thing reeks of teenage angst.The dialogue is cliched and hamfisted to the nth degree. From medicine to law to basic social interactions, the author clearly doesn't understand how the world works. The only character to any substantial degree of realistic characterization is Jeff himself. The worst of the cast are the adults, who are complete dipshits, but it's clearly not deliberate. The author just doesn't understand how adults, or pretty much anyone besides thirteen-year-old emo kids, think and act.

So if it's so bad, why, then, do is it so popular? As I said above, I think it all comes back to that face. Like it or not, that little chibi-Marilyn Manson looking photoshop has a pretty eerie air to it. It's shocking to look at it. Being so closely associated with that picture, most people probably come across it while looking into the origins of the picture and take it as canon.

Most people probably pass it over for its quality. The remaining fringe are angsty kids who simultaneously a.) identify with Jeff as misunderstood teen and/or bullying victim; and b.) have never read a book in their life and have no standard of quality. It boils down to a nasty story based on an ill-concieved cyber bullying photoshop, both of which continue to be a bane on Creepy Pasta readers everywhere and bring down the collective quality of horror fiction.

But hey, this is the internet, right? The downside of anybody being able to publish anything is that there is going to be a lot of crap to go with the bad. Fortunately, there is still plenty of good stuff out there, and even the stuff that sucks can be good for a laugh. If you've made it this far, thank you for going through this story and reading my commentary. It was a long one, and I appreciate the support.

Now got read something good, and have a good night.

 

 

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About Adam Pone of us since 10:34 PM on 04.28.2013

My name is Adam. I've been gaming as far back as I can remember, ever since the NES my parents owned when I was a wee lad. Writing has been a passion of mine for almost as long, and I've made quite a hobby out of combining the two pastimes.

I have a very wide taste in gaming. I'll give just about anything a shot, regardless of age, genre, or hardware. I like to think of gaming as an entertainment medium in the same vein as literature and film rather than a simple toy.

When I'm not writing or playing, you might find me in church, in the woods (probably on a four wheeler and/or carrying a gun), or in my room playing my guitar.