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LONG BLOG

Assassinís Creed Unity is Great Says Assassinís Creed Fan & his 45 Alt Accounts

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Assassin’s Creed fan Dylan Parkey would like you to know that Assassin’s Creed: Unity is a fantastic game; and the 45 alt accounts he created to defend that position seem to agree.

Parkey, a 31-year-old Gamestop employee from Miami, Florida, says the internet and reviewers are unfairly targeting Assassin’s Creed: Unity because of a larger disagreement with Ubisoft and how it handles review copies.

“This game is legendary,” says Parkey. “It’s got amazing co-op, the graphics are fantastic, the new lead character is one of the best. It should be getting 9s and 10s across the board but it won’t because reviewers are just pissed that they had to hold off reviewing the game until after it released.”

When asked if there was anything in the game that might warrant some of the backlash, Parkey said no. Assassin4Lyfe, an alt account created by Parkey to get his point across, agrees.

“Ignore this review,” Assassin4Lyfe posted in a review comment section of the game. “Listen to the players. They’re having fun with it and so will you.”

That comment was upvoted 67 times by unknown guests and received many supportive replies from the 44 other accounts created by Parkey to defend this game.

"This is just another bullshit reviewer trying to make a name for himself. Ignore this hack," replied alt account Stealthkill4400.

“I’m with you. Why can’t reviewers be a little more objective?” asked UbiBoobie, a brand new account with only one comment to its name.

Parkey also says Assassin’s Creed: Rogue is a game of the year contender, a position heavily favored by all the other users he’s pretending to be.

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About CJ Andriessenone of us since 6:56 PM on 10.14.2014

Just what the internet needs: yet another white guy writing about video games.