How am I supposed to feel when someone tells me to "Die" and that "You don't belong in this world?" I think that's kind of harsh phrasing and threatening for less 140 characters and, really, its not by my hand that I was once again given attention.
I was @-ed by humans that wished to pay me tribute, that's all. I didn't steal thier souls, make them my slaves or anything but I think I could say that about some religions doing that to people.
All right, #notallreligions, I hear that a lot. Still, the crusades, chopping off hands and swearing lives of total chastity seems a bit much for me and perhaps taking scripture too seriously. I actually love reading the Bible.
All I ever wanted was to drink blood, live forever and rule the world but somehow that's a bad thing.
These words are not empty, nor is my soul. That jerk said that about me, too. Again, these people just @ to me, I didn't claim to be the savior of mankind or anything.
And what is a man, really? I used to just say "a miserable pile of secrets" before social media. Its enough to make me want to toss this nice chardonnay I'm having. Most men are a miserable pile, little more.
Oh God, "#notallmen." Really? REALLY? I've lost two wives to mankind so far, but I know there are those desperate for my guidance so, yes, not all men. I happen to have human friends, you know. Like Shaft, for example, or those people that resurrected me and those two wives I lost. My son is also half-human! We have some differences of opinion and there was that time he, a Belmont had a sorceress killed me, but I do still love him.
Wait. Who just posted my address, bank information and images of my home here?
Why that little... I'm mentioned in a tweet?
Well, I guess there's nothing for it. This social media stuff just makes humans miserable to talk to - moreso than usual. I'll just delete this stupid app, get my minions ready and settle down on my throne with this nice bloody chardonnay I've been enjoying.
Enough tweets, have at you!