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LONG BLOG

@All: Good Night, and Good Luck

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On Sunday I threw up a new post in the community blogs; partly as a response to Holmes' article about the term "gamer", and partially in response to the controversy and ensuing internet shitstorm surrounding independent game developer Zoe Quinn. Some people took the post relatively well. They may not have completely agreed with everything I had to say, but they respectfully gave their two cents in response and could at least understand where my concerns were coming from. And I greatly respect and appreciate that.

A number of the 100+ comments I got on that post however (by far the most attention a c-blog of mine has ever gotten), largely fell into two general categories. The first: "Stop talking about this, shut up and play games, you're not accomplishing anything with your blog, this isn't serious and your concerns aren't valid." The second: "You gamers are making a controversy out of nothing, in the process blaming the victim of your baseless harassment, these types of relationships are perfectly fine, there is nothing to investigate, and there is no legitimate conflict of interest or concern about impartiality." These post have more or less mirrored the comments section of the front page.

For the former group, I tried to make the case that this situation is more complicated than they might realize. That the press absolutely does have an influence on the industry and has for decades. That the direction the art medium takes is shaped by more than just core consumers, and it will change for the worse at the rate we're going. To the latter group, I began formulating a response on how these types of relationships would either (A) require full disclosure or (B) result in firings if we were talking about another industry. But more importantly, that there is absolutely something to investigate here even if a vocal minority have ruined the discourse on the other side of the fence. Never even made it that far, though.

I then headed back to work from Labor Day Weekend and I stopped caring. Not about the issue (which I do still find important), but about spending time discussing it here. As you're probably aware (for better or for worse), I'm been by far one of the most active commenters this site. I've greatly enjoyed the debates, discussions, and general discourse I've had here. I've seen a dozen different Dtoid staffs come and go over the last 5 years, some which I've really admired. I've also met a number of people on here who I could honestly consider friends, regardless of whether or not I know their name, where they're from, or anything about their personal life. And I've unfortunately watched quite a few of them leave here as well.

I think I'm done with the comments section on the front page and the community blogs (please, contain your excitement). After Dtoid decided to take the "safe" road, ignore the controversy, and basically tell us that nothing is changing in regard to their policies on press relationships and game funding, I'm not sure I want to be a part of this site anymore. And with the community slowly turning angrier and more hostile to anything that doesn't fit into the narrow hive mind they've established for many topics, there's really no reason to stay for them either. I'm tired of reading "inb4 ctg867" for having an opinion different than yours (one that I argue and explain rationally and intelligently no less). Especially when half the time I'm just posting memes to avoid the hostility entirely because I've grown tired of the ignorant hatred that's directed at me and a small minority of others who share some of my views.

This isn't making me happy anymore. I'm out of college and finally have a full time job in my field. Monday through Friday I have less than 7 hours a day to cook, shower, shave, do laundy and food shopping, upkeep my apartment, run errands, etc. And that's before I have any free time to myself. I've made more new music with a friend of mine in the last month than I did in the last year, and shit like that is honestly how I want to spend more of my time from now on. Oh, and actually playing video games, something I wonder if the STFUAJPG people actually do anymore themselves. Not drowning in this hate and vitriol. Not all of you are part of the problem. I love a lot of you guys and I enjoy shooting the shit, debating, or talking games and culture with you. But you're a slowly shrinking segment of this community, and that's incredibly unfortunate. It doesn't help when new staff members are sinking to the level of the majority here and encouraging childish, inflammatory, unconstructive behavior in the comments and on the front page.

On the flip side, I'm sure a lot of you are happy about this. That there's one less person here to disagree with your dogma. That it'll be easier to argue on the FP with fewer people that actually know how to construct a competent counterpoint. That you'll have one less "SJW" who would challenge you to think about this medium as art and entertainment, not just sex games and kids toys "because this isn't important". To those people I say this: stay salty, bitches ;-)

You might see a comment out of me from time to time or an upvote when somebody says something I like. But beyond that, my days of being part of the Dtoid community are over. To those sticking around who have enjoyed talking with me over the years (as I have with you), I wish y'all the best of luck and I hope you can keep this place going for the better. Keep fightin' the good fight, whatever you feel that is. It's been real. Cheers.

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About ctg867one of us since 2:47 AM on 11.29.2013

I'm a dude who plays games and comments about stuff. Been on Dtoid since the Jim Sterling days (2010-ish), though this account's a bit newer than that. Don't go on the FP anymore, but I'll throw the occasional post up from time to time.

I also stream on Twitch sometimes, if you're interested:

https://www.twitch.tv/ctg867