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LONG BLOG

You Wanna Adopt Me? I'd Adopt Me.

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Another year has come and gone.� The hot dog breath of Summer is slowly relenting and giving way to the cool quiet of Fall.� PAX Prime aka the Battle in Seattle aka the Group Hug is happening starting tomorrow.� For some of you reading this, you will be attending this fine event.� All I can say is:





If its your first time to PAX and you plan to attend the Dtoid parties and panel, oh lordy you are in for a treat.� It is hard to put into words the warm fuzzies I felt the first time I met fellas like Andy Dixon and Knutaf and Corduroy Turtle in real life.� It made everything, every fun moment experienced on Destructoid and playing games online real and tangible.� There was a person standing in front of me.� We broke bread.� We drank moderately priced beer.� We laughed and engaged and made memories.� My experience with PAX was a kind of Nirvana.� A place of perfect harmony with myself and my surroundings.� Well, it was until I got a sinus infection.� That happened both times I've been.� Seriously.� Wash your hands, drink water and watch out for coughing people and sniffles.��





So this is where I ask you to adopt me.� I can't go to PAX this year but you can bring me there.� I can exist in spirit and accompany you as you travel and have adventures with fellow Dtoiders and random people.� Pretend I'm there by acknowledging me out of place reference to fingerblasting a girl named Krystal behind a Dollar Tree dumpster.� Smile politely when you pretend to hear me mentioning how my biological father is 1) Mike Haggar 2) Suda 51 3) an absent factor in my life.� I am a great companion.� I won't take up much space, I have a beard made of cats and have an encylopedic knowledge of the Mighty Ducks franchise.


If you choose to adopt me, know that you have my thanks.� And by thanks I mean I could probably write something both thoughtful and inappropriate about you.� I would, if you wanted.� As someone who fully supports sexual expression and deviancy, I'm more than happy to write that.� But this isn't about sex.� I mean, it could be.� I bet there are some PAX babies out there.� Someone has sat on a dick during PAX and didn't get off it in time.� Surely someone has been knocked up while wearing a furry costume.� God I hope so.� Haha, sex is awesome.



Ahem.


I'm getting distracted.



So, please adopt me.� Let me in your life for this magical time.� Share your PAX experience with me.� I want to watch you thrive there.� Let me love you.







*Should you adopt me, I can send you a large image of my avatar so you can print me out and bring me with you.� Just send me a PM!

- Sent from my Lisa Frank Dungeon


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About Occamsone of us since 7:53 PM on 02.11.2009

I am a Community Moderator for Destructoid. I am also the resident Resplendent Black Grandmother. My mind is broken glass and my heart is swollen and corpulent, like a cheeto left in a puddle of Diet Coke.

Well that certainly sounded dramatic.


LOL Andy was here LOL
PSN ID:Mother_Meat


 

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