When they announced new Super Mario 3D World
heads were sent spinning at the prospect of playing as Princess Peach, unfortunately, many were disappointed as both Peach and Rosalina reinforced gender normatives by running slower and jumping differently than their male counterparts. Some brave fans took it upon themselves to reverse the situation and draw Mario as a girl, and in doing so, subverted all expectations and revealed the chauvinist precedent unwittingly encouraged by Nintendo.†
If youíre still reading this then that means you clicked, and I have already won. Here's some fanart I found. However, in an attempt to make this look like I didnít shit this out in ten minutes allow me to present some half baked ideas I thought up in the shower. *Ahem*. If Mario was a girl than that would turn the stereotypical ďsave the princessĒ plot on its head, now a woman would be saving a man, and that would be really progressive and open-minded and avant-garde and stuff.
Iím definitely not writing this because Nintendo fans are rabid and fanatical and women in gaming is a hot button issue.
Also, in anticipation of dissenting opinions allow me to suggest that if you are a man attracted to female Mario then youíre probably gay, and gender-swapped Mario is how you lie to yourself and maintain your image. ďThis isnít gayĒ you think, as you imaging her giant cartoon gloves enveloping your penis, ďIím straightĒ you reassert, picturing the gentle caress of her moustache.†
Iím sure that pre-emptively suggesting that those people are gay in no way reinforces the idea that itís something to be ashamed of. In any case, Iíll be pretending to be so
forward thinking that I couldnít even conceive why you would go there or why anything in this article would even draw attention in the first place.†
Have I mentioned Smash Bros
yet? Oh man, Smash Bros is for idiots.
LOOK WHO CAME: