Oh, why, hello Dtoid! I didnít see you come in. I was just sitting here by my fireplace, enjoying a nice glass of cognac as I discuss the dayís politics with other men of great stature. By which I mean Iím lying in bed shirtless, watching old episodes of One Piece
over a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios. Iím currently halfway through the Water 7 Arc, and shit is heating up
. That Luffy will stop at nothing to save his nakama!
Anyway, I thought Iíd take some time out from such significant matters to discuss a subject of even greater significance Ė myself! Itís come to my attention that I may be somewhat of a mystery to you all. A man shrouded in secrets. An unknowable enigma of much fascination. Or maybe you donít really care who I am. Well, too bad. Youíre going to shut up and youíre going to sit here and Iím going to tell you 10 super interesting facts about myself and then weíre all going to find out how the Straw Hats can possibly defeat CP9.
1. UsurpMyProse is...
After the smack down Sony delivered at last yearís E3, I was certain my next gen console of choice was going to be a PS4. I was ready to wash my hands of my Xbox 360 and return to Playstationís loving, expertly marketed embrace. But then something happened. Something nobody could have predicted. Something wonderful.
Luigiís death stare.
Now, Iím not saying a single stupid meme is responsible for me driving 45 minutes to the only GameStop in my area with the Mario Kart 8 Wii U Deluxe Bundle still in stock. Itís just that Mario Kart 8 looked so damn fun
. As did Super Mario 3D World. And Super Smash Bros. Wii U. And all the classic Wii games I never played because I never owned a Wii.
SO MOVE BITCH, GET OUT DA WAY.
†Or add SodaPopkinski to your Wii U friendís list! BUT MOSTLY GET OUT DA WAY.
LOOK WHO CAME: