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LONG BLOG

10 things they don't want you to know about Jet Set Radio

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Hey Dtoid. Let's face it: this website is obviously run by Illuminati Bilderberg New World Order Knights Templar Masons. I mean, c'mon; pretty obvious, right? Niero killed JFK by transforming himself into several bullets. What a maniac!

Well, apart from that, there are other things THEY don't want you to know. Hamza will never admit it, but his check is written out by Donald Rumsfeld. And he only gets paid if he eats one baby per news item on the front page.

There are also OTHER other things THEY don't want you to know. Those things are about Jet Set Radio.

1. It was made hundreds of years ago in Spain by people who said “let's make a videogame and also let's torture people who aren't Catholics.”

2. A million bumblebees die everyday from lack of opposable thumbs with which to play Jet Set Radio

3. The real reason all the Star Wars Expanded Universe stuff was made non canon was to place it in the Jet Set Radio universe.

4. Jet Set Radio fan fiction. Write some for me. Make it either hyperviolent or hypersexual. Or both. I want JSR erotica and JSR snuff books. Also, I want cigarettes and tequila branded with JSR. Do this now or I will devour everyone you love. Don't fucking test me.

5. The soundtrack was composed by angels being given the best orgasms of their lives.

6. JSR is the most popular videogame ever.

7. The Illuminati are actually controlled by the Bilderbergs, who once were controlled by the CIA, who once had an agent infiltrate (and subsequently recruit everyone in) the Knights Templar. Also, the Masons did all the terrorism. Building 7

8. That last one wasn't about JSR. But it actually was. THEY just don't want you to know that.

9. Here's a pic of a cow:

(I love clicking "insert" to put a photo in a blog. It's even more sexier when cows are involved)

10. Fellatio was invented by The-Latest-Media-Scapegoat-Who-Got-Caught-Being-Racist-In-Private.

11. GULF OF TONKIN!!!!

12. The cereal called Kellogg's was invented by a guy with that last name. He made it bland and shitty so people wouldn't masturbate. I say we must all fap in resistance. Even if we don't want to. We owe six faps per week to the poor assholes who came before us thinking that if they jerked it, god would piss on their graves.

Your leader,
Zombie Orwell


Go read some books:

Kilonova Complex: Episode 1
http://www.amazon.com/Kilonova-Complex-Episode-Brandon-Springer-ebook/dp/B00J6N7RDU

Kilonova Complex: Episode 2
http://www.amazon.com/Kilonova-Complex-Episode-Brandon-Springer-ebook/dp/B00JOPQBCI/

How To Write Naked
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KFOZAJW

Sweet Hot American Trash
http://www.amazon.com/Sweet-American-Trash-Morgan-Stirling-ebook/dp/B00KFOZC7M/


Have a podcast:

Mexico: History and Resistance itunes page:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/mexico-history-resistance/id812719884?mt=2
direct feed: http://mexicohistorypodcast.libsyn.com/rss
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About Zombie Orwellone of us since 3:07 PM on 03.30.2012

My fellow internet zombie brethren:

It is my specious pleasure to be addressing you in the fullness of time. My name is Zombie Orwell. You will be hearing a lot from me in the coming months as we ratchet up the intensity of our Zombie Rights Revolution.

I wish all of you safe human-hunting. Please message me ([email protected]) if you have questions or free tacos.

I love you!