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LONG BLOG

I want your whiskey mouth all over my blond south.

   0
Ohai Dtoid.

It's me. The zombie who is et cetera. You might be asking yourself a question such as: Hey, self... Zombie Orwell is great.

Well, that's technically not a question, you filthy pervert. But, for the fullness of time, let us move on to something more contemporary. I have important informations to give you.

Here it cums.

Wait for it.

Here it cums.






I am leaving Dtoid forever. You see, I was recently promised something very important. Six days have passed and I have not received the thingy. So I have kidnapped Niero's dog and will soon throw it into a volcano.

Oh, also Podtoid. I have not been given Podtoid, so I have to use adblock now because I'm a filthy human troll.







HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

That was my impressive impersonation of a crying person on Dtoid! Did you love its sensual and erotic rhythms? I sure did. I'm not actually leaving Dtoid. That would be more absurd than Hitchens thinking he's my spiritual successor.

So what's new with me?

I recently ate my first German tourist in Oaxaca! He tasted like blood! Yummy. Also, The Devastation and Destruction of Destructoid is coming to a close in a few weeks. It will all end in tears, as you probably know.

After that, his (or my) Orwellian-ness shall begin orchestrating a beautiful Sci Fi (meaning "science fience") serial. It will take place on a sleek, sexy, grimy, dirty, gigantic floating city in space. I plan to release it in a few months. It will have some cover arts, maybe an editor, and a translation from Zombie to English so that you can read it with eyeballs.

JOIN MY EMAIL LIST FOR SILLY HAPPY INFORMATIVE EMAILS FROM ME. Send an email with "Subscribe" in the subject line to [email protected] to begin receiving audacity. If you are unable to write "subscribe" for religious or political reasons, please write "fish" instead.

Also, there might be a podcast involving me, the Benny who is Disco, and the Toothbrush who is Occam. Hold on for further informations.

Did I forget something? OH YEAH!! PICTURES OF COWS!

PLEASE LEAVE COW PICS IN THE COMMENTS

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Zombie Orwell
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About Zombie Orwellone of us since 3:07 PM on 03.30.2012

My fellow internet zombie brethren:

It is my specious pleasure to be addressing you in the fullness of time. My name is Zombie Orwell. You will be hearing a lot from me in the coming months as we ratchet up the intensity of our Zombie Rights Revolution.

I wish all of you safe human-hunting. Please message me ([email protected]) if you have questions or free tacos.

I love you!