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LONG BLOG

A handy guide to surviving the holiday Review Season.

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I've noticed a few people  taking some of the recent reviews on Destructoid a bit too seriously lately, and have drafted a few quick survival tips for those with sensitive posteriors. And I'm such a nice guy, I'm giving these few tips for free!

Don'ts:

#1 Don't say the review is worthless because it doesn't match the average review score. Expecting that all reviews to be the same is a stupid thing to do and is makes it oh so easy for assholes like me to to troll you back.

Exhibit A:



#2 Saying a reviewer is being bribed because you think it's the only explanation for his score not matching your expectations may sound clever in your mind, but once posted, those comments usully look more like this:



#3: Assume Destructoid  operates on a 4 point scale. It doesn't . 6.5/10 may sound terrible to you , but it's not. It's above average. More good than bad.


#4: Freak out and accuse the Mods when your comment seemingly disapears. Popular reviews tend to draw lots of traffic, and Discus is great at breaking down when more than 3 people try to comment at the same time.
Consider this a blessing, because it means less Dtoiders will point and laugh at you for crying about how the reviewer totally doesn't get this amzing game you have most likely not gotten a chance to play yet.


Do's

#1: Make some popcorn. Despite this wonderful guide some people will still get angry and make fools of themselves. Trust me when I say nothing spices up my day like taking 15 minutes to laugh at the silly things people say in the comment section.

#2: Post a funny and releavant GIF, Picture or video with your comment. It spreads joy to the site and how can that ever be a bad thing?

#3:Join the Dark Side! Post silly nonsense in response to those that are taking things personally. Nothing is quite as entertaining as watching one "innocent" comment set off a 30+ comment rant from someone who was already angry about the Review. Refer to #1 for maximum enjoyment.


And last but not least, no matter what you do, bring one of these. You'll need it.
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About RenaudB90one of us since 9:30 AM on 05.23.2013

Baby don't hurt me.
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