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LONG BLOG

GAMES ARTS

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So basically I want to work in the game industry.

I know a lot of guys what make games read Destructoid because videogames. Pretty much, as it stands, I work night shifts at a warehouse. It's really hot, so I have to go to the bathroom frequently to let my underwear air dry from all the sweat running down my ass crack. I usually play Pokemon Blue on the Game Boy while this happens, so I get a lot of time to play games.

I have a lot of good ideas for games too. How about a villain whose motivation is that he loves everyone, like Jesus, but not like Jesus, thinks that the best way to show his love is by KILLING THE HUMAN RACE? Quite a twist there, eh? How about a DOG as a party member in an RPG? Bet they'd never see that one coming.

Anyways, apart from writing, I was thinking of what I could contribute to the game industry. I had a synthesizer once, and I learned to play Snake Man's theme on it. So there's that. I also write sometimes. But lately, my passion has been many artworks. And I thought I'd share some of those artworks with you all here today to prove that I too could be a good game guy.

So if you're reading, Microsoft, or EA or whoever; hire me. I live in Canada. I can't relocate. But we can do something through email, work it out. I'll do all the arts for you.

Here are some example of my work.



Gobun's foot.

No joke here.
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About TheManchildone of us since 2:03 PM on 08.10.2011

HIRE ME GAME INDUSTRY. HIRE ME YOU MOTHERFUCKERS.

I am an aging man with starving children. I write blogs about video games. My favorite system is the Game Boy. I have three of them in my house; one in the shitter, one by my computer, and one in my pocket.

My aspiration in life is to not die. Runner up is writing and creating random bullshit related to my only hobby, which is games. I guess I read books too. But nobody cares about OLD MAN hobbies like that, so get outta town, GRANDPA!

My favorite game is Ecco the Dolphin. I like to speedrun it because it makes me feel like a big man, except when the credits run, which is where I usually reflect sadly upon the rest of my life. I love dick jokes and farts. Dickfarts.

I want to write for Destructoid some day, but the staff here are too smart to hire me. I need to find a clever way to trick a legitimate enthusiast site to pay me a small amount of money to do something for them or I can never happy.

But even then, I probably still won't be happy.

Such is life.

PSN ID:Phosisthedolphin
Steam ID:joeldavidpeterson
BattleNET:Phosis


 

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