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The 3DS and itís library of stellar titles are quickly leading to the platform becoming worthy of the Nintendo handheld legacy. With that in mind, on the eve of itís eighteenth anniversary, now is absolutely time to talk about the big daddy of 3D game consoles, the big brother of the 3DS (the Mario to itís Luigi if you will) the 3DS Prime.

You know...


It came from the third dimension. With its own brain. Itís own voice. Itís own legs. Thereís only one problem.... It needs games. Also a shit ton of batteries.

Whenever I read about the people that have taken the painstaking measures to collect every game for a system like the NES or PlayStation 2 I know how proud they feel. It is quite an accomplishment to be able to financially afford, acquire and store all of that equipment and games. I can say that I stand proud among them with my collection of all the Virtual Boy games released in North America. It was super hard because there were fourteen of them released!

I have to say growing up this was a really popular system with my friends and I. We loved to go camping with it in my backyard, which was perfect because unlike that lousy Game Boy brick which ainít got no time for no backlights we could play all night long. Although seriously Nintendo where was that link cable? We called you incessantly about it for like a year! Clearly the developers were behind it too with the massive support of games for the system! Now that all of that unhappiness is behind us it is time for the happiest, most joyful, cheeriest and bestest moment of them all: the top five list!

I thought about doing a top ten list, but that would be unfair to the other four games!

Top five Virtual Boy 3-D games for a 3-D world in the hizzle:

#5 - Galactic Pinball: I have never been a huge fan of pinball games. Quite frankly I am horrible at them. If I were playing a pinball machine at an arcade I might as well give my money to that homeless guy because at least I would feel good about that. However there was always something endearing about this game. The crazy pinball tables, Samusí ship randomly showing up, random asteroids raining down and never once coming close to topping my friend's high score on my copy of the game.

Best Quote: ďGrab your portable Virtual Boy and enter the virtual realm of three dimensional pinball in outer space!!

#4 - Mario Clash: Probably the best way to describe this is classic Mario Bros. arcade game in 3D. There was a front and back area that you could be in on every stage with varying verticality and you would have to jump back and forth trying to eliminate all the enemies by using the enemies. Itís the Mario game that everyone wanted on the system except for the lack of side scrolling levels, Princess saving and power ups! But at least with the 3D effect you can throw a turtle shell at your own face!

#3 - Marioís Tennis: Itís Tennis. With Mario! Seriously itís Marioís FIRST Tennis game! Sick of Mario appearing in every sports games? Please hop in your DeLorian and head back to 1995. Now that you are there send in your picture personalized envelope to Nintendo Power warning about the dangerous precedent that this game will send. Seriously though this tennis game was always a blast to play. This should have been the game that would use the two player link cable that never released.

#2 - Vertical Force: I rarely if ever hear anyone mention this game when talking about the system. I feel like I may be the only person that liked this game. Although realistically considering the platform it is on it is more likely I am the only person who has ever played it. Itís an on rails shooter in the vein of Gradius developed by Hudson Soft and published by Nintendo. It had two different planes (pun intended) where your ship could fly, collect power ups, shoot enemies and be rad. Come on, Mav, do some of that pilot shit!

#1 - Wario Land: ďI didnít see that coming!Ē - Said no one ever.

This game has made every list of best Virtual Boy games ever made and is probably the only game on the platform that has ever occasionally appeared on any overall top list for anything else. This should have been the Nintendo showcase game for the Virtual Boy from the get go. Itís excellent. It mashes the traditional Wario Land gameplay and adds a second level in the background to take advantage of the 3D. If you need any other reason to play this game you can always pretend that all the gold and treasure that Wario accumulates through the game will somehow fund the purchase of the batteries needed to actually play and complete it!

So are you upset that I left Red Alarm off this list? Tough. Game sucks.

So with all of these great games I am sure you just finished reading this list and thought to yourself what could have possibly gone wrong with this system? Well, let me set the record straight once and for all. It wasnít because it was expensive. It wasnít because people were afraid of their eyes rotting inside out from playing. It wasnít even because you needed a days worth of power output from a nuclear power plant inside a multitude of AA batteries to play it.

It was because Nintendo loved it too much.

So Nintendo will you please release these on the Virtual Boy 2ís Virtual Console?

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About ClashOfPenguinone of us since 9:04 PM on 03.04.2013

My name is Mike. I am just a guy looking for an outlet to share my opinions on the video game industry.

Trying to think of exciting things to put here. I'll keep adding as I think of more.


PSN: ClashOfPenguin
NNID: ClashOfPenguin
3DS: Some Numbers

Twitter: @xxpcmxx

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