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LONG BLOG

Triple R Theater: Valentine Edition

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If I know you, you're just sick and tired of reading all these professional reviews of boring, relevant games that come out practically every day. You ask yourself, where are the reviews I care about? Well rest easy friends, because I'm here to help. More importantly, Renegade's Random Review Theater is here to help.

Today's subject is an important, genre-defining masturbatory aid that has gotten the shaft from the Western gaming community. A game that takes an incredible amount of perverse pleasure in making you feel like a dirty, disgusting human being, and before too long, asks you to take a seat.

Right over there.

Today's review is the Japanese jailbait touchy-touchy simulator, Gal*Gun.



So in the end, if that's what you're into, Gal*Gun is one of those games. One of those games that is a game, with those things I mentioned. It sits on a shelf, hoping no one will notice it, and if they do, then suddenly everyone starts to feel ashamed. They ask what it is, and you don't have a response, instead choosing to argue that you bought it for the dialog and deep gameplay.

Is it right for you? If you said no, then you're likely a thriving individual with lots of friends and a happy relationship. Good for you.

If you answered yes, then you might want to have a seat.

Right next to me.

This embarassing review is based on the PS3 version which is region free. The game is also available and equally shame inducing on Xbox 360.
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About RenegadePandaone of us since 9:02 PM on 09.30.2009

Oh, you say you like stupid YouTube videos?
I do that sometimes.

'Teaches You Things' Series:

Modurn Warfairz

Grand Auto Thiefman

Jakuzi 3

Who am I? Well, I am many things.

A mentor? A motivator? A free spirit?

None of those things are what I am.

What I am am is just your average guy. Living out my life in relative peace, trying to make a living in this rough and tumble world. An aspiring game designer, you might call me, I wast...erm...spend 2.5 years of my life going to school for said aspiration as well. What will come of this dream? Hell if I know.

But beyond that, I'm your typical gamer. I play a bit of everything, here and there. Anything from shooters to obscure Japanese fare is in my history, I've also been found scrolling through lines of Japanese dialogue, pretending like I can read it. Pretty fun, right?

I'm a 360 guy mainly, it serves as my main platform. I also have a PS3 and a Wii of course, along with several other consoles which I will list below because, well, I feel like it. Listing things passes the time, makes the world go round.

As I said, shooters and action games grab my attention mostly, I do dabble in RPGS (but never seem to finish them) as well as adventure games and the like. I'll play and enjoy just about anything, so long as it isn't an MMO. I have stories about that, but I'll tell you later.

Some of my favorite games of all time?

Jet Set Radio
Shenmue
Phantasy Star Online
Dig Dug
Ouendan
Phoenix Wright
Trauma Center
Taiko No Tatsujin
Metal Gear Solid
Halo Trilogy
Katamari Damacy (+ Sequels)
Time Crisis (+ Sequels)
Mass Effect
Deus Ex
Phantom Crash
Phantom Dust
Ninja Gaiden 1, 2 and 3
Super Mario
Starfox (+ 64)
Goldeneye
Perfect Dark

There are several more, but too many to list here. I own several systems, most of which I don't find the time to play.

Xbox 360 (Modern Warfare 2)
Xbox 360 (Resident Evil 5)
Xbox 360 HD-DVD Drive
PS3 40GB
Wii
Xbox
PS2 Slim
PSX
PSP (Carnival Bright Yellow)
DSi (Black)
Dreamcast
Sega Saturn
GBC (Pokemon)
GBC (Translucent Purple)
GBA SP (Nintendo Classic)
Nintendo 64 (Black, Gold)
Nintendo 64 (Pikachu Edition)
Game Gear
Super NES
NES
Retro Duo
Neo Geo Pocket (Camo)
Neo Geo Pocket Color (Silver)
Colecovision (+ Atari 2600 adapter)

I have a modest collection of games for most of them, I buy more every now and then when money allows, and I'm always looking for more. It's a bit of a hobby, I guess. An expensive one at that. Favorite system would have to be the Dreamcast. Why? I'll write a blog about it someday. Next to that would be my 64.

I own a Power Glove as mandated by Nerd Law.

So if you can't tell by now I'm somewhat of an addict. I usually go out of my way to own or secure unusual or rare looking video game stuff, and sometimes wind up buying things just for the sake of owning them. Why do I have a Japanese Guncon 2? I'm not sure yet.

So there you have it, that's me. I'm a pretty friendly guy, I suppose. I like tacos, anime and long walks on the beach. Just your average person, right?

I like to think so.
Xbox LIVE:Shadow of Logic
PSN ID:Snake0457


 

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