Objectification! Misogyny! Sexism! The horror! Video Games are terrible to women!
There. If you came in expecting an uninformed cliched-spewing blog, that line is for you.
Now onto what matters:
Sex is good. Believe it or not ladies and gentlemen, sex feels really good. Even when it's bad sex, it's still good. You know what else is good? Videogames. Now, I know what you're thinking: "Lukas you handsome stud, if sex is great and videogames are great too, joining them must be a brilliant idea!"
Yeah not so much. See my dear virgin reader, for some reason there's this collective idea running rampant nowadays, one that says: if a videogame character is good looking enough to earn herself a good ol' knuckle shake, she's bad, the game is bad, sexism is everywhere.
I guess this whole "We want unfappable female characters" movement begun after those absurd videos that Anita Shekaskian posted on youtube a few months ago. A bunch of dickheads got pissed at her for the wrong reasons, and everyone sided with the martyr. (Even though she was spewing bullshit after bullshit)
Let's look at some "objectified" female characters from the past few years:
Bayonetta: Hot, bad ass, confident, strong, doesn't need a knight in shining armor to defend her, has a glorious ass.
Juliet: Hot, objectifies her boyfriend, strong, kills zombies, romantic, has a decent ass
Those girls from DoA: Hot, Asses, Butts, Boobs and titties.
My point is: I like boobs, and I like asses. I also like strong female characters. Strong female characters plus awesome asses equals great masturbation oportunities. Is that bad? No! Why? Because I didn't forbid my younger sister from playing Uncharted after I caught her touching herself while looking at a picture of Drake. (And he wasn't even shirtless)
Let's talk sex a little more.
Sex feels good, sexualized characters are better, strong sexualized characters are the pinacle of videogaming. Those are facts I just proved.
So what happens when sex is the main focus of the game? Sexy Beach 3 happens!
Sexy Beach 3 is one of my favorite games of all time. It's about a guy stuck on an Island with a bunch of super hot customizable girls, that he can bang. It's glorious.
"But, but, it objectifies women!"
Dude, so what? They aren't the target market of the game. Lonely virgins such as yourself are the target demographic of the game.
"Wait, are you saying that it's okay for developers to up the sexualization when women aren't the main target market of the game?"
"And by that logic, they should tone down sex when women are part of the target market"
"But what if women feel offended by Sexy Beach 3?"
Well this was my blog post of the evening, thank you all.
"Wait, what about romance"
What about it?
"Aren't you going to discuss to way romance is presented in videogames?"
This blog is about sex you idiot! Why the hell are you even talking about romance? What are you? A woman?
LOOK WHO CAME: