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LONG BLOG

Nintendo...why?!?!

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Once upon a time,

In a land of bad haircuts, ugly clothes and...Michael Jackson (HEEEE). There existed a little grey box. This little guy made kids all over the world very happy. For he was a magic box that played video games. Games like Castlevania, Contra and Super Mario Brothers. He was better than all the other boxes in the world because of two important little things. Number one he had the greatest controller there ever was. Four buttons and a d-pad on a flat surface, that's all you needed. And number two every game released on this little grey box had to get a specific stamp of approval. This stamp meant something to gamers. It was like a little guarantee of awesome! The little console and the stamp both carried the same name. The name of video games in my childhood, NINTENDO!!!

Flash 25 years

Today Nintendo has a console out called the Wii which let's just stop beating around the bush (hehe), It's a penis right? So I get to play Nintendo Penis and wave a remote around like a fucking fool playing games that are one generation behind the times. Now trust me when I comment on the graphics I don't wanna sound like a snob. I am a big 8/16 bit fan. To this day those are my favorite games to play. Problem is I really don't like the look of games in the PS2/Gamecube/Xbox era, which is exactly what the Wii looks like. Now really If I were to base this blog just bitching about the Wii, I would be six years too late. No now we have the Wii U. Everyday since it's official unveiling it just seems like it is falling further down hill. People hate the iPad like touch screen. The games "look" good sure but they don't really look good. First party support was Nintendos forte, nowadays however it seems like they just don't know what to do anymore.

If you are old enough to remember the NES and the SNES you could probably mention a grip of games that were important to your childhood. I did a list and I will spare posting it here because it was over 90 games long that from my first time holding a controller in 1990 when I was four all the way till I got my Playstation in 1997. Those games and those two systems shaped my life as a gamer. I find it really hard to believe that a kid that grew up on the Wii can say the same thing. People can say, "The Wii is always being held down by Microsoft and Sony." Fuck that because the choice Nintendo made in differentiating the Wii from the pack was to hold back it's power and using a gimmick to sell it. Nintendo has always sold gimmicks with their systems but the Wii was the first time that the gimmick was forced on the gamer. The Wii U may be trying to break out with the Pro Controller, but it seems that all development is focusing on the Gamepad that looks...questionable.

Number one the motion gameplay is not going anywhere which is just a terrible choice. It isolates gamers like nothing else. I am 26 years old and I have no interest of standing up to play games and bounce around. It is a GIMMICK that works just fine for kids but adults really don't want to partake in such nonsense unless enough booze is involved. If the Wii U puts the motion control focus on the lower end of the spectrum and focuses on making the gamepad a useful counterpart to the console I "may" be on board. Then there is the new Nintendo look that annoys me. The menus look like iPhone Jr. A kids version of minimalism. Then there are the fucking Mii's and just about every other ii tie in that they run wild with. They just need to stop being fucking lame. The options that the game pad can take are vast and some things look promising, but then others look ridiculous.

I guess we will find out this holiday season but at this point in time I have a feeling this is going to be Nintendo's swan song. A company that I have been a fan of since the days when Mega Man was cool and relevant. I hope they come out swinging and snag a "rightful" amount of market share and pull themselves out of their wii little hole (hehe). I could of said little wii hole but that just...fuck it, NOOOO dammit nevermind, I am going to go play some Battletoads.
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About fzzywarbalsone of us since 12:21 AM on 06.16.2012

Are you a rebel? No? Okay then you can read this if you want to then. I am a gamer. Yep and that is pretty much it.


In all seriousness I am a guy that plays games more than 40 hours a week and still holds a full time job. I love gaming of all kinds (literally) and I love to write about games and make videos of myself either playing games or talking about them. It is kind of my entire life really...Is that sad?!? Oh well I am proud to be pathetic :D
Steam ID:z3phr86


 

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