(Note:So after reading numerous post I noticed a lot people had shared deep personal information or stories, and it was ultimately more insightful and helpful with getting to know them better. I thanked everyone of them for sharing...literary! I debated if I should do one, especially after posting an introduction just recently. While there were some things that I felt I had left out in the post, I figured what better time then now to clear that up.) II & I . I love my kids & they made me change my life around for the better
If you read my introduction you probably noticed that I love my kids. I wasn't who I am today before I had kids, certain aspects of my life were altered after the birth of first kid. Not to say, it was instant life changer, cause I was incarcerated during the birth of my second child (due to me violating my probation.) For instance, I was on probation for an "attempted felonious assault". Which got me 6 months of maximum security in the county jail (23 hrs locked down in a cell w/ an hour of day-room) and 3 years of probation. It is my 1st & only felony.
After my release, I went right back to the streets selling drugs once again. Within that week, I caught another case, an "assault & battery" and was arrested but had bonded myself out.
A couple months later, my partner "Red" & I, our house gets raided. They never found any paraphernalia so they couldn't charge us with anything, but I had violated certain probation stipulations. My probation officer gave me an ultimatum, either I go back in front of my judge (who told me if he ever seen me again he'd make finish out my whole sentence which was 2 years) or complete a 3-5 month program called "Alternative Direction" or A.D for short. Well you know which route I took, the 3-5 months. Now before I went to A.D, my women was pregnant at the time & fatherhood wasn't really something I was prepared for at the time.
So after completing the A.D program (which I almost got sent to boot camp for coming back from work on my last day drunk). I still was dibbling & dabbling in drug sells. It wasn't till my son was born, that I started to make changes. I hadn't perfected this change but I willing to take the steps needed to. A year & half later, my women is pregnant again, and I decided to get back in the game (even though I was working 2 jobs at the time, let me tell you, babies are expensive). Which ended with me violating my probation yet again. Which brings me back to missing the birth of my second child. That was gut wrenching (especially considering the situation with my second born). After being released, I have never been back since.
I did not choose to speak on this to make myself look tough, gangsta, thuggish, or some type of bad ass. Getting arrested and going to jail doesn't make someone hard, it really means they were dumb enough to get caught (myself included). I chose this one to be last cause I felt this wasn't just personal but also completely unexpected (like the twist at the end of a movie). My kids really did change the route I was going down. Not to sound clique, but if it wasn't for them I honestly would be dead or in prison. While going through my teenager phase I had hit a bad streak. I didn't care about anything or anyone including myself. Even after losing numerous friends to gunshots & prison (some who are still serving time in the joint), I didn't quit. I grew up without a father & I lost my mother at the age of 14. Which is why I knew, I needed to get my shit together, so that my kids didn't grow up without a father & fall victim to the same mistakes I made in life
While I'm not proud of who I was, I'm not ashamed of it either. I don't live my life with regrets, cause it took me to go through all that to become who I am today.
LOOK WHO CAME: