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Mega Man: Washed Up


Okay, so this whole Bad Box Art Mega Man being in Street Fighter X Tekken? Totally awesome. I'm still not thrilled with Legends 3 getting canceled and the series as a whole kind of being shit on lately, but here's how I think Capcom could fix everything:

They should make a game starring Bad Box Art Mega Man (just as he appears in Street Fighter X Tekken) as a washed up TV actor named Rocky Rollington who once starred as Mega Man in a live action superhero show. It's been years since the show got cancelled and time has not been kind to Rocky. On the first night of his new job at a gas station in a bad neighborhood, some street punk tries to rob him at knifepoint and he recalls the extremely limited fighting skills he learned on set to defend himself. The kid isn't especially tough, so Rocky scares him off easily by screaming "WHACK!" in a very comic-bookish manner and administering a disarming karate chop to the kid's wrist.

Brimming with false confidence, Rocky goes home that night, breaks out his old Mega Man suit, and puts up an online ad, offering his services as a superhero-for-hire. He contacts his old friend, Tommy Lightning, who designed prop weapons for the show and has him modify the Mega Buster ray gun into a stun gun.

The premise is somewhere between No More Heroes (a game in which an anime nerd buys a beam katana online and sets out to become the number one assassin) and Bored to Death (a TV show where a writer puts up a Craigslist ad offering his services as a private detective), so it's not exactly original (and I can't recall any specific examples, but I know the whole washed up actor gone vigilante has been done before), but I think the fact that it's a Mega Man game changes everything.

The missions would range from silly and mundane tasks (acting as entertainment for a child's birthday party) that could go south (the kid's abusive father crashes the party and Mega Man has to stop him) to shit that puts Rocky in way over his head (someone framing him for murder). Somewhere in between, there could be some crazies that want to do him harm (obsessive nerds that want the Mega Man costume for their collection, so they dress up as Robot Masters and lure him into traps), help him out (a Roll cosplayer that bakes him cookies and owns a dog named Rush), or just steal his thunder (Peter Bluth, the actor who played Protoman on the show, breaks out his own costume and attempts to settle their long-standing rivalry). The psychopaths from Dead Rising are kind of what I have in mind for these characters, just (debatably) normal folks gone crazy over a show that they like (or hate) a lot.

The game would probably play something like No More Heroes, with a limited city area to roam around in and missions taking place in smaller stages. I also think back to Dead Rising in terms of gameplay, with Mega Man being pretty slow and clunky at first, like Frank West, but learning new skills that make him a little more badass. Mega Man only has to shoot targets and the like during early missions (like the birthday party one), but when things get more demanding, he'll have to use his stun gun to blast enemies and knock them unconscious with his cheesy superhero moves (complete with the embarrassing comic book sound effects). Because he's only human (and an overweight one at that), the game would pull a lot of inspiration from classic Mega Man in the way that it's really damn hard. Rocky can take a quite a few punches, but when guns get involved, it won't take much to put him in the hospital. Despite all the danger, however, Rocky will remain dedicated thanks to a strong sense of justice (and concern that he can't afford his cigarettes or beer without the mission's pay).

Pulling the strings on the whole "nerds pretending to be Robot Masters" deal would be the president of the Mega Man fan club, William Albert, who (unintentionally) bears resemblance to Dr. Wily and wants nothing more than to wear the costume himself. His fandom transcends simply wanting an autograph from the man who played his hero; He wants to become the hero. The story would culminate with Tommy and "Roll" being captured by William and Mega Man would have to beat him down once and for all.

So yeah, this is what's been eating at the back of my brain since I saw the video of Bad Box Art Mega Man in Street Fighter X Tekken. This game is probably be the coolest thing that will never happen, but I'm going to dream, anyway. If nothing else, I hope Capcom at least gives something new (that's not a fighting game) with Mega Man in it soon! As much as this game would be awesome, I would never actually wish such a sad fate for the Blue Bomber. As it stands, though, I kind of feel like this is a pretty accurate depiction of our hero.

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About donkeyspacemanone of us since 10:49 PM on 12.05.2006

Gaming Info:
Gamertag: kaizokukitsune
SteamID: donkeyspaceman
Kongregate: tsunamikitsune
Raptr: noisetank
3DS Friend Code: 4811-6947-1994

Other Websites:
Virtually Competent on itch.io
donkeyspaceman on Twitter
Eric Neuhaus on Youtube

Notable Moments on Destructoid:
-I was a guest on everyone's favorite
unofficial community podcast, Failcast!
-One of my blogs hit the top 10
because Audiosurf is really fun to play while high!
-One of my blogs made it to the front page
because bear and bird are good at building!
-As of December 6, 2014, I've been a member of the best gaming community ever for eight years!
-I discussed review scores and why they suck with some of Destructoid's greatest!

Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII (PSP)
Kirby Super Star Ultra (DS)
Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts (360)
Child of Eden (360)
Rhythm Thief & The Emperor's Treasure (3DS)

XBLA Games That Deserve Some Lovin':
Volume 1: The first of many
Volume 2: I'm a sucker for a sale
Volume 3: Free is such a bittersweet word
Volume 4: No skimming zone
Volume 5: Shooter heaven
Volume 6: More fun than a barrel of unfun games
Volume 7: Now you're thinking with grappling arms
Volume 8: Super Hyper Ultra HD Remix Deluxe
Volume 9: I swear I will write more if someone shows interest

Currently Playing (until the end of time):
-Spelunky HD (PC)

Favorite Games of All Time:
-Animal Crossing (GCN)
-Banjo-Kazooie (N64)
-Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts (X360)
-Bubble Bobble (NES)
-Burnout Paradise (360)
-Burnout Revenge (360)
-Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (PS1)
-Cave Story (PC)
-Chocobo's Dungeon 2 (PS1)
-Dead Rising (360)
-Diddy Kong Racing (N64)
-Doom RPG (Cell)
-Dragon Quest Heroes: Rocket Slime (DS)
-Earthbound (SNES)
-Elite Beat Agents (DS)
-Excite Truck (Wii)
-Fantasy Zone (TG-16)
-Gex 2: Enter the Gecko (PS1)
-Gitaroo Man (PS2)
-God Hand (PS2)
-Grim Fandango (PC)
-Harvest Moon: Back to Nature (PS1)
-Ikaruga (DC/XBLA)
-Infiniminer (PC)
-Jet Grind Radio (DC)
-Jet Set Radio Future (Xbox)
-Jump Ultimate Stars (DS)
-Katamari Damacy (PS2)
-Kid Icarus: Uprising (3DS)
-Kirby's Adventure (NES)
-Kirby Air Ride (GCN)
-Kirby Canvas Curse (DS)
-Kirby Super Star (SNES)
-The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (N64)
-Luigi's Mansion (GCN)
-Mario Kart DS (DS)
-Mega Man Battle Network 3 (GBA)
-Mega Man Legends (PS1)
-Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance (PS2)
-Meteos (DS)
-Minecraft (PC)
-Mother 3 (GBA)
-N+ (XBLA)
-The Neverhood (PC)
-No One Can Stop Mr. Domino (PS1)
-Paper Mario (N64)
-PaRappa the Rapper (PS1)
-Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (DS)
-Pokemon Puzzle Challenge (GBC)
-Pokemon Snap (N64)
-Portal 1/2 (PC)
-Psychonauts (Xbox)
-Putt-Putt Goes to the Moon (3DO)
-Resident Evil 4 (GCN)
-Rez (DC)
-Rock Band 1/2/3 (360)
-Sam & Max Hit The Road (PC)
-The Simpsons Game (360)
-Snatcher (Sega CD)
-Sonic Generations (360)
-Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (Genesis)
-Spelunky HD (XBLA/PC)
-Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island (SNES)
-Super Metroid (SNES)
-ToeJam & Earl (Genesis)
-Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 2 (PS1)
-WarioWare: Touched! (DS)
-WarioWare: Twisted! (GBA)
-WarioWare Inc.: Mega Party Game$ (GCN)
-The World Ends With You (DS)

My Rock Band 2 Info (thanks, Cutie Honey!):

My childhood hero, unleashed:

My childhood hero, riding a donkey (thanks, GAMEGOBLIN!):
Xbox LIVE:kaizokukitsune
Steam ID:tsunamikitsune
Mii code:7349-7505-8502-0053
3DS Code:4811-6947-1994


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