I tried to put my penis in my disc copy of Skyrim.
It wouldn't fit.
I purchased a USB fleshlight and purchased Skyrim on Steam.
"Ahhh that's better." I exhaled with glee. After turning on the rumble function, I died happily that day.
I died all inside my pants, and on my keyboard, and on my monitor.
I dyed my hair orange, looked myself in the mirror and shouted,
"I am not a ginger!" in dragon speak. Which sounded like, "Yol med lo krein, geh?!"
And I responded in the deepest voice I could,
"Fus Yol Motmah."
AND THEN I WAS ALL LIKE
O NO U DIDN'T
And I set the rumble function to DEATH
AND I FUCKING DIED
I FUCKING DIED RIGHT THEN AND THERE
WITH MY PANTS DOWN
AND A SILICON FALSE VAGINA ON MY PECKER
WAGE WAR ON YOUR PSYCHE
DOWNLOAD SKYRIM ON STEAM BECAUSE ITS BROKEN ON PS3 (ZBOX NOT INCLUDED)