Bit of advice before I start this week, NEVER ask an Eskimo to dance. Turns out dance translates into "eat my guts while I still live" and don't ask how I know this. Just another one of those weeks. Hopefully that hasn't put you off the Eskimos, those beautiful cannibalistic ba****ds. And now for the blog my sweet toothed ball busters.
Well a new Rainbow Six game was announced this week titled "Rainbow Six Patriots". No gameplay other than what they would like to do. If the video is anything is to go by, then get ready for "Heavy rain : Gameplay Edition". Basically, it looks like shite.
From Software announced this week that Dark Souls has shipped 1.5 million copies worldwide. Also released this week was the worldwide crime statistics, showing a massive increase in assault and murder cases. I blame the damn Eskimos.
So anyone remember Dead Island? That bland, boring, glitchy unfinished piece of... anyway turns out the cocky little turtles at Techland may be making a sequel. Apparently called "Dead World" it will take place on a ferry which is inhabited by irradiated poodle dogs and armadillos.
So the nominees for the VGAs Game of The Year where announced this week (yes, people still give a damn about the VGAs for some reason), and many a Gears of War fanboy cried out in rage because Portal 2 was nominated and not their beloved Gears 3. My choice for this year is that the VGAs just falls over and dies before slowly choking Geoff Keighley with its stench of cheapness.
Well I'm off to hunt down the last of the Eskim... I mean peeping toms who stole my bike. Also, I'm off to seek out new stories and terrible puns. May actually become bearable at some point. Have fun and see you next week toiders.
LOOK WHO CAME: