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Duke Nukem Forever review (PC)

Duke Nukem Forever seemed like it's been in development for forever (LOL). But seriously, I'm getting kind of bothered by the reviews. People cannot grade everything the same way, and this really shows it off. For example, movies like PoTC4 get bad reviews for stuff like “lack of character development”. You don't see PoTC4 for character development. You merely want adventure, action, and a little comedy here and there. It sounded like the reviewers were looking for something equal to inception's level of everything.

I believe that's where everyones' been getting these bad ratings from. Well, some scores are well-deserved, but honestly, you can't put a game that barely takes itself seriously in the same ways as games like Battlefield 3 take the genre now. So without further ado,

Duke Nukem Forever review

As stated earlier, it's dumb to put this game on the same scales as other games, so I will give it two scores, one for being itself, and one for comparison to others.

Duke Nukem Forever is the story of Duke's big return to the world of alien-killing as aliens start capturing his women. It's not deep at all, but has anything in Duke's world ever been deep? Not really. Duke lives off of one-liners and perverted actions. The story is just kind of there so you have a reason to blow shit up. Basically, Crysis 2's story. Bad aliens come, blow up.

The first thing to notice, really, is the graphics. The game is pretty bad in terms of how it should be for a Duke Nukem game. It's like they're running source engine (Don't get me wrong, I love source engine. But those graphics aren't as modern as other games. Graphics don't matter much unless it's one of the main goals of the game [crysis] And for a Duke Nukem game, I'd expect a bit better quality....) Let's put it this way, I have to run just about every FPS on lowest resolution with lowest settings possible to make them playable. I can't even turn up graphics on Portal 2 without it stuttering. Yet, I could keep Duke Nukem running at 800x600 with all textures (except shadows) set to max. I got about a constant 30-35 fps. I even put on anti-aliasing and advanced features.

The comedy is immature, but still pretty satisfying for what the Duke Nukem franchise aims for. Some old lines are repeated, some are modified to fit new context, and some jokes had me die laughing. (“RED KEYCARD REQUIRED” ~ Door Mainframe. “I don't need no damn keycard! ~ Duke). It seemed like a hilarious jab at the roots of the Doom series, and I loved it. I probably cried laughing. But then again, I have a pretty simple sense of humor when it comes to geek-jokes.

The gameplay is nothing revolutionary, but it still feels like a Duke Nukem game. There's crazy weapons and they're pretty fun to play around with. I friggin love the devastator. I've never gotten to use a machine-gun-rocket-launcher ever before. Throwing stuff is a bit cheating though, as you can throw a rock and it kills the enemy in a hit. The Boss Battles are pretty simple, yet fun to just dominate at.

The real annoyances in the game is how rushed it feels. For 2011, you'd expect stuff to be a bit more complicated than giving every object the same pick-up animation. I pick up a can the same way I do a giant barrel? Are you kidding me? Or how about when you eat a donut, you just swallow it in one gulp. The rest of the objects you can interact with are just simply throwable.

The ego system is a good idea until you realize you get it buffed by doing dumb crap like basketball. And actually....I kind of enjoyed messing around with basketball and pinball. It was pretty neat, and it felt sort of like Duke was back into messing around when crazy crap was happening again.

So what's this all mean?

If you look at Duke Nukem for what it is, a Duke Nukem game, then it's about average. It hits most of the key points the original Duke games match while having the comedy, gore, and pervertedness still in it. It doesn't take itself too seriously, which a lot of games have been doing nowadays. Sometimes, when there's an apocalypse coming, I just want to make some fade-away 3-pointers. I'd give this game a 7.8/10

If you look at Duke Nukem as a modern shooting game, then it's horribly below par. For 2011, you'd expect to see a little effort put into the game. This rarely has any. All things have the same grab animation, thrown items occasionally vanish, bullets won't register, etc. Looking at it this way, maybe a 5/10.

So what did I think of it?

I actually liked it. Not so much as I'd say Love it, but I enjoyed it for a good while. Duke Nukem has the feeling that no matter what happens, I can always just goof around. It has its flaws which would make other games look amazing, but for what it does, it really feels like a Duke Nukem game. My only real complaint is that it was $50. I'd expect a bit more work into my video game if I'm going to spend $50 in a video game that is made worse than others.

For what Duke Nukem Forever is, it's a great addition to the Duke Nukem series.
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About MathewRDone of us since 10:20 PM on 09.19.2010

I'm just here to play some games.