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C-Blog Interviews: Andrew Kauz; CEO

And now we're back for Season...uh...we'll go with zero. Season Zero.

It seems that I've been beginning each new beginning of this series with staff interviews so what better way to start again than our very own Andrew Kauz(a?).

What got you into the writing profession and how did you end up here in Destructoid?

Hope you're ready for story time, because here it comes.

I've been into writing forever, honestly; before coming to Destructoid I had written for some other sites, including my own now defunct music blog (Progressive Melodies, and Destructoid is directly responsible for its demise) and even some other gaming sites, like a short-lived gaming site attached to tech site Tweak Town. But when it comes to real actual game writing, it sort of came from desperation, hope, and mostly boredom.

Ever had that job where you keep getting told it's going to go somewhere, but deep down you know it's only going to get worse? Yep, I had that job. So when I got home from said job, during my little bits of Internet time, I'd read gaming sites like Giant Bomb (which at this time had barely started). I had long had dreams of writing for a gaming site -- back when Gamespot was awesome, I wanted nothing more to be a part of their team, with Kasavin at the helm, Gerstmann and Davis, Navarro and Gouskos. Of course, I was always too young before, and it was a stupid choice to try to pursue, but with a dead-end job and no better ideas, I was in the perfect position to start thinking stupid again. Should I start writing about games again? If so, where?

It was soon after this that I first heard a name I hadn't yet heard before: Destructoid. The site had been nominated for a webby, and a post over at Giant Bomb was calling for votes for this site. "Damn," I said to myself. "That's a damn cool thing to do. This site must be pretty awesome."

So off to Destructoid I went.

Shortly thereafter, I entered and won a Twitter contest for Puzzle Quest: Galactrix, which in retrospect is probably the worst thing Destructoid has ever brought into my life. It's a wonder I'm here today at all. Anyway, I was pretty impressed with how cool my first interactions with the site were, so on the last day of April of 2009, I first clicked on the link for the community blogs, noticing that other community posts had been put on the front page. Cool idea, I thought. I wonder if I could be a part of that.

So I wrote a blog. It wasn't very good, but it got a couple of nice comments. So I wrote another. And another. And before I knew it I had like 70 blogs written, and people in comments were being just fucking amazing. I had done some amazing stuff, met some amazing people, and joined the greatest community on the Internet.

Guess I'll need to shake Gerstmann's hand for all that one day.

You�re now CEO of the C-Blogs. How has the transition been like?

Transitiony. Actually, not bad at all. I had sort of an extended sojourn from Destructoid brought about by job loss, money loss, and so on, and in relocating and getting back on track, I just needed a good reason to get motivated to get involved again. I had also joined Flixist recently, which kept me busy as we got the site off the ground. I went from having enough free time to play Dragon Quest IX for ten hours a day (which was both terrifying and amazing) to being busy as shit, and it was at that point that I decided to ask to help out with the blogs. Makes sense, right?

The greatest thing about this is the sense of pride I feel in the community when a post does really well. For instance, a community post about the Monkey Island series recently got read and tweeted by Ron Gilbert. How great is that? Some random dude writes on Destructoid, and, bam, here's a respected gaming icon sharing your stuff with thousands. I love having the power to do that for people. Hell, it's the same reason I've been able to do awesome shit like work E3 and interview Jennifer Hale: I just wrote shit in my blog.

Your favorite game. Too simple? Your favorite scene from your favorite game.

Too simple? Too damn hard. Recently, Portal 2 totally blew me away, being the one game I've played in a long while that had me smiling all the way through, right up to the end, when I felt profoundly sad that it was over. As for a favorite scene, I still think the fist fight between Snake and Liquid at the end of MGS4 is absolutely breathtaking. It's violent and touching, and such a great way to conclude their relationship.

If you could hug anyone on Dtoid who would it be?

I'd like to get everyone together for this ridiculously cheesy group hug, where we all walked into a big open meadow from different areas, and we'd all meet someone else's eyes from across the meadow at the same time and start this adorable slow-motion run, meeting in the middle just as the sun set and fireworks exploded all around us. Then we would just linger in each other's arms until a boy with a red balloon walked by, at which point we'd follow after him as one unit, calling Jason forevermore.

If you could punch anyone on Dtoid who would it be?

When you're new to the wrote, "Writing about games in a place where people actually read your work," thing, it can be hard to adjust to the sorts of comments you can get sometimes. I remember one in particular, I don't remember from whom, which essentially suggested that I had ripped the idea off from Anthony Burch, and that I was completely unoriginal. For some reason, this pissed me off more than any other negative comment that I've gotten, especially since my post and the Rev Rant to which he referred had absolutely nothing in common. Call me whatever you want, but not unoriginal. Or else I'll give you 50 lashes with a wet noodle.

You also do things over at Flixist. Tell me, what are some of your favorite films, of all time, recently?

Why yes, I do do things over at Flixist! I'm glad you noticed! If you haven't visited Flixist lately, it's pretty wonderful, so if joining a movie community has always been in your dreams, now's a good time to make that happen.

Anyway, a favorite movie is almost as hard as a favorite game. But lately, I found myself impressed by a few things, and I do have a few films that I'll love dearly forever. One film belonging to the latter category is Robin Hood: Men in Tights, which I first watched when I was somewhere between 10-12. I didn't get more than 10% of the jokes, but I loved watching it. Then, as I grew up, I kept watching the film over and over, getting more and more of the humor every time. It's a silly and ridiculous film, but I think it also defines me as a person.

Lately, I really loved Inception and How to Train Your Dragon[i]. Also worth mentioning: [i]Hot Fuzz, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, and just about anything with Michael Keaton.

When I grow up I want to be�

paid to do something that, at any given time, I would rather be doing that anything else in the entire world.

Now that I�ve grown I can�

use the potty without supervision. What a world.

The tea that I�m serving you may or may not be filled with laxatives. How do you respond?

Depends entirely on the level of my thirst, the quantity of laxatives I suspect have been placed in the tea, and the availability of alternative beverages. If other beverages are available, I'm going to choose those every time. After all, I have no great allegiance to tea. This applies, of course, unless you're going to ask me to drink my own urine, at which point I suspect that I'd choose the tea. I'm not entirely opposed to having to spend some quality time with the toilet.

Another matter to consider is the type of laxative. Now, you may be thinking that all laxatives are the same, but this is simply untrue. For one, you have stimulant laxatives, which are the nasty ones. They just straight up clean you out, making you poop regardless of whether you actually have anything left to poop out. So, if you've got a pound of those in my tea, then that urine might be looking a little more like lemonade. But if you've just got a stool softener in there, then I have to ask, how soft can we go? I'm not opposed to finding out. And a lubricant laxative? Just call me Mr. Slip-and-Slide.

Now if my level of thirst is so severe that I'd drink just about anything, you might expect me to drink the tea regardless of how much laxative agent is in it. False. In fact, the opposite would be true: if I'm really thirsty, I'd rather go without the tea and take my chances without liquid at all. Why? Because I can't take the chance that the tea is filled with so much laxative that I'll poop out what little liquid I still have left in me, only exacerbating the whole problem. Can't imagine a worse way to die than pooping myself into fatal dehydration. I might consider swirling the tea in my mouth and spitting, but even that seems dangerous. Just in case, you know.

So, um, why are you serving laxatives in my tea?

There is a woman who seems to be looking in your general direction with a peculiar look on her face. As she comes up to you, you quickly say�.

Wasn't me.

What separates the community here in Dtoid from any other website?


I haven't really found another online community that seems so damn in love with each other as we are. With all our PAXes, our NARPs, our sending of packages to one another, our random acts of kindness, the special bonds we form with one another just aren't found anywhere else. There's a sense of supportiveness here that I've just never found anywhere else. And it's all genuine. It's just a bunch of people who are awesome and somehow found each other. It almost seems too perfect.

I still remember the feeling I got the first time I started seeing shit like "Kauza for editor" in my blog posts, or the first night I spent in a Boston pizza place with twenty-some Dtoiders who had only just met but seemed like best friends. You just have to sit back in wonderment and say, "Is this all really just because of a website?" It's still all a little unreal.

If I were to tell you that you had one day left to live, you would?

Probably hit you in the wiener.

I'm assuming that really wouldn't make me feel a whole lot better, so I'd probably spend the entire day thinking about all of the awesome stuff I still wanted to do, resolve to do it all, and then realize the day was over. So I'd just sit down somewhere outside, looking out of something that was beautiful, and think about the awesome stuff I had already done.

What is your most prized possession? (Family and Loved ones don�t count)

My sanity. I know that's a weird thing to say, and some might argue that I don't have it at all, but I'm really glad that I have the ability to think clearly, and that I don't have to go through life feeling like I'm disconnected from my mind. It's a scary feeling to know how many people out there just don't really have a firm grasp upon their own thoughts, as without my thoughts and my ability to share them, I'd have nothing left.

If you could ask the community a question it would be?

What can Destructoid do for you, and what can you do for Destructoid? Not to get all JFK on your asses, but I think it's important to understand what the community wants out of Destructoid and make sure that the community knows how vital it is to Destructoid. So, what are you going to do to make Destructoid more awesome? Are you going to make snarky ass comments on the front page until enough people get pissed at you that you start lurking again, or are you going to attend a NARP, get to know people, and fall so hard in love with the site that you wear Dtoid shirts in public just so you have the opportunity to explain what it means? And what do you want Destructoid to do for you? Do you just want to read some gaming news, or do you want us to give you even more opportunities to be a part of a community, the world of gaming, and a general sense of awesomeness? Do you want to write for a gaming site? Do you want more original features from staff members?

Oh, you said a question? Oops.

Remember that previous interviews can be read in the Tome of Ages in the About Me section. Read them at your own peril.
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About Community Interviewsone of us since 7:24 PM on 08.20.2010

This blog is currently under the control of community punching-bag, Chris Moyse! (OrochiLeona)

Current interviews in this series can be easily accessed by consulting this list.

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This blog was formerly administrated and curated by LawOfThermalDynamics.
The banner was created by Falsenipple.

You can find a list of the old interviews here.

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This blog is about interviewing members of the Destructoid community. If you think someone deserves to be interviewed, please contact either us via a PM to this account, or our private ones, if you feel so inclined.

The opportunity to be interviewed does not necessarily depend on amount of time spent here, number of published articles, etc. - only if our interviewer or a separate nominee thinks you have something really interesting to say.

So, if you think someone else out there could use a little community shine, speak up and let us know! They could very well be the next victim interviewee!