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LONG BLOG

Aaamaazing: It's all Spatial Effects

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Dedication. I am dedicated to video games. When I was young and my father suggested I go outside, I said NO, I would rather finish playing Battletoads. When my mother asked if I would like to get some of the hottest new releases from the local video store, I said NO, I would rather hire Super Mario Bros 3 for the 19th weekend straight, because I know I can get past that stupid ice world this time. When my friends asked me to come over to hang out with them, I said NO, you should all come sit on my couch and watch me play all of Eternal Darkness. And please bring your own snacks, I am not a charity.

Through the years I, like many others, have played a lot of games on a lot of different machines. I thought that Iíd peaked, that I had become as obsessive and anti-social as I possibly could, short of hooking living human babies to my TV as a power source. And then there was Mass Effect 2.



If I stop playing now and go to sleep I should be okay, but Iím playing Mass Effect 2, I canít stop. My brain does a quickfire calculation, weighing up the risks and rewards of playing a video game for so long that I go blind. The game wins of course. And now Iím half-disabled, squinting at my tiny television as I fire orbs of psychic ass-kicking into the brain pans of defective clones and colour-coded gang members. My head starts pounding so hard it actually puts me off balance. Mass Effect 2 is now actually making me physically ill and I donít care. Imaginary spiders with sledgehammer feet are scaling the back of my skull and my eyeballs are being sexually assaulted in a crowded nightclub. I could vomit at any point.

But I saved the galaxy. Iím the hero. I managed to beat the most difficult and explosive missions, save (most of) the citizens and spit on the graves of my enemies. I got to have sex with a Quarian. Eventually I collapse into bed, often rising during the night - although it is already 4:00am - to vomit and writhe around on the bathroom floor. The next day I canít get up at all, so I sit quietly in a dark room muttering about launching probes. It was totally worth it. Mass Effect 2 is interactive cocaine.
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About Andy Astrucone of us since 9:08 PM on 03.21.2010

Currently playing... LA Noire, Mass Effect 2, Portal 2, No More Heroes, Overlord, Minecraft.

Geek. Dork. Nerd. Rock Star. Writer. Gamer. Watcher. Consumer of Milk Products.

My name is Andy, and I've been gaming since I was a very small boy. But I'm much taller now. Currently living in Wellington, New Zealand, which is like living inside a very culturally diverse tornado. Married to a girl named Rachel who stabs and bites me a lot.

I have a PlayStation 3, Xbox 360, Wii and Playstation 2. When on the move, or in bed, I also have a DSlite. In the past I have fondled a NES, Genesis (okay, I played with my cousin's), Atari 2600 and PSX. Video games have been a major part of my life forever, but now I also write professionally about them. Also unprofessionally. I love to talk games and play games. LOVE ME.

A FEW FAVOURITES

Mass Effect
Red Dead Redemption
Left 4 Dead
Half Life
Portal
Enslaved
Blur
DJ Hero
Persona 3/4
Final Fantasy VIII/IX/X/XII
Vagrant Story
Dragon Age
Borderlands
Prince of Persia: Sands of Time
Fallout
Lost Odyssey

ME ON THE INTERNATS

Dead Geek Circus
My official website wherein I blog about stuff that isn't (always) related to video games, such as reviews of television and movies, yelling about life and mentioning cool shite. It also contains - theoretically - my webcomics and other junk.

TWITTAZ
Twitter. I say things on it that would blow your mind bombs.
Xbox LIVE:Zwuh
PSN ID:Zwuh
Steam ID:Zwuhz


 

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