Thanks to Corduroy for the blog title. Alright everybody, let's-
Hey. I know it's been a little while. Don't look at me like that. Come on, it's not like I meant for us to drift apart, I've just been busy is all. You ever have to take six engineering courses? Yeah, I- oh
. Well. Really? That's much more impressive. And all while in free fall? Huh. Right, maybe we'll move on.
Come on baby, give me some love.
So, gosh, we're gunna be a little light on the words today because, at the risk of letting a terribly mundane cat out of a woefully uninteresting bag, things're (maybe) moving and (kind of) shaking, so all that is best saved for the time being. However, I've still got a sack full of wonder for you kids. Before that, some preface:
I suck. I suck to a truly tremendous degree. Like, a ravaging whirlpool of suck. A suck of such prowess that, could its force be redirected for use as a superpower, it would have the potential to wholly abolish crime in the first world if only I wasn't so, you know, sucky
. This has led me to put off a much-needed blog for, sweet Jesus, two months now? God, so much suck.
I also lost my camera chord, but don't that mislead you. The delay was pretty much all suck. But anyway. Pictures. The Toothbrush Saga: A Chance of Rain
In the dead of the blackest night, he came. A courier. An agent of chaos and the strange charm. His powerful rap against my door at the midnight hour rang out even over the roil of thunder. It commanded me to come and, bedraggled and clad in my best footie pajamas, I staggered to the door and threw it open to receive him. He stood crooked with ancient power, fierce red eyes glowing from the depths of his cowl, smelling of dead tongues and lilac. Lit by the lightning he doubtless claimed his steed, he thrust a withered claw towards me and, with a spartan nod, indicated I was to receive the package held therein.
With trembling hand and weak bladder, I reached out for the destiny-woven envelope. As my fingers latched around it, the ragged lightning flashed once more and at once, I was alone, save for the ponderous delivery I held. With trepidation, I scurried back to my bedroom and gently placed the package on my lowly sheet. There, the dim light cast impish shadows across its oddly sapient folds and creases.
With a thrust of curiosity-born courage, I ripped it open. Paper tore with the sound of weeping cherubs and the fragrance of memories filled the air. Fear and hope waged war within me. Was everything lost - or everything gained?
As the contents of the package spilled out across my humble sheet, sparks of bight magic pooled between the unimaginable collection of what could only be described as paraphernalia of the highest order.
And, uh, more fine literature.
A new soundtrack to my day, narrowly beating out my non-stop medley of the Firefly
theme and Billy Idol's White Wedding.
Why, a magic growing manta ray?
Finally, a pet for my longtime girlfriend.
A certain rabbit whose raw animal magnetism may have overwhelmed the camera.
At this point, I was at a loss to describe all the wonder before me, but I encourage you to drink it in until the sun goes down.
Now, this, this was something special. The stamp of unmatched blessing, the key to a club drunk on sunshine and boners.
But somehow, somehow, it got better. Oh god, so much better. There may been burly tears of joy. The records are fuzzy.
And then? Then I burst into flame because no body can contain such happiness.
Listen, I can't even begin to put words to how much joy Occams brought me with this. Our Lord of the GIS is, god, he's an inexpressible wonder. Goodness knows how much joy he has single-handedly brought all of us and you know as well as I what a king among men he is, but dammit, it simply can't be said enough. Thank you, Occams, you splendid, majestic, microcosm of gawk-worthy beauty. I'm a thousand times sorry for taking so long to get this out, but know I would happily do this a dozen times more in celebration of the good you do for all of us.
And we're drifting into the fanatical. Okay team, good session, we'll work on the hustle in the future. I'll see you around.
LOOK WHO CAME: