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LONG BLOG

Bioshock? More Like Bio-suck!

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This game is overrated. The 1950�s were stupid, just like this game. There�s not even a multi-player mode! Never before have I had the misfortune of playing such a repugnant game, is what I would�ve said if I was in bizarro world!



Well, this brings me to the sad realization I stumbled upon halfway through my game: I�m super late to the party! I�m so late, I�m not even fashionably late anymore.

I wouldn�t be surprised if nobody read this blog because everybody moved on to bigger and better things since Bioshock came out, and they don�t want to read another mediocre blog about it. Not only am I late to the Bioshock party, I�m late to the HD console party, too!

By now, everybody has friends they play online with, and they have tons of games to play on PSN and Xbox Live. I only have one game, and nobody wants to play it anymore. I really missed the train, and with the 3DS and NGP coming out, coupled with the rumors that all Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft are all working on new consoles for next generation, I may never catch up!

I was planning on getting myself a PS3, but then the 3DS came along, looking all sexy and multi-dimensional. It�s like every time I get some fancy technological device, something new comes along that I want to get so I don�t ever fall behind again. (It�s also like I�m an old person complaining about how new tech keeps invalidating old technology).

For a while, it seemed like this vicious cycle would never end, but then I realized why I fell behind. I never got an Xbox 360 or PS3 because I was still pretty young when they first came out. The mature games didn�t interest me as much as Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and Super Mario Galaxy, but most importantly of all: I had no money!

I�m a bit older now. I actually have a respectable amount of money to spend on my leisure activities, and I can appreciate more mature themes in video games now. Being a full-time student, the money�s not as lucrative as the dough I was pulling down as a professional male model, but I now have enough to get a few video games. However, being a full-time student also means I don�t have much time to play video games, but that�s beside the point.

What I�m starting to realize is that I no longer rely on my parents to fuel my hobby any longer. The reason I fell behind the times was because I didn�t want to have my parents spend the money.

Knowing that I�m starting to grow up and starting to get the money to buy all these consoles and gadgets, I�m a bit less afraid of coming late to the next party. In the mean time, I can still try having fun with all the leftovers and trying my best to catch up. I will eventually get a PS3 because there is some stuff on there that I want, and I may get my hands on a 3DS when a decent game releases for it. This will, hopefully, get me caught up with 5 years of missed opportunities. I also need to get a more recently released game to start getting in on an FNF around here, but I keep school keeps taking away the motivation to buy a newer game that people are actually playing! *sigh*

Well, at least I only have to pay $20 for older games right now! That�s one good side about coming late to the party!
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About HandsomeBeastone of us since 6:44 PM on 07.14.2010

I can't resist an oppurtunity to write about myself. I'm a fungi and I don't like to party. I prefer a cool damp place to chill in cuz I'm cool and damp. You can find me just vegetating in my house which is actually my parents' house. Having no income other than government reparation checks, I figured crashing with my old man and old lady will help alleviate the pressures of their life as they near twilight. I never get out and I don't plan on doing so in the near future. I thought this place could use some good looking me grace the c-blogs, having spent the last decade or so modeling for big corporations pro bono. I actually discovered Destructoid through reccomendations from one of my many fans.

If you can see my recently posted header, I'm a 69 years old Polynesian man living vicariously through the internet. After retiring from the drug game, I decided to lay low and assume a more humble lifestyle as to avoid cops. As a result, I came across this cave where nuclear scientists created an electronic tennis game from an oscilloscope. I've secretly followed the world of video games ever since then.

I didn't actually play any vidja games with my hands until 1997, having been imprisoned since the '40s by the U.S. government for stumbling onto their nuclear science project all those years ago. It was a Super Nintendo, and I played Super Mario World until the cartridge would bleed. To cut it some slack, I also played Super Mario All-Stars, Pinocchio, Super Street Fighter II, Extra Innings, and Donkey Kong Country 2.

I progressively continued playing Nintendo stuff because the world of war and corrupt state prison had made me a peaceful man, and I did not favor the more mature, violent alternative systems. Fast-forward to 2007 when I discovered Destructoid after the Nintendo forums were shut down. I've been watching you closely and have come to care for your community of intelligents and rogue thugs, so I decided to share my story with all of you- something I've never shared with a member of the animal kingdom with the ability to talk.

Hope I see you around, and you comment on my stuff, cuz it's like crack to me when I read somebody's input on my ramblings ;(
Xbox LIVE:DJ PAPABEAR 909
PSN ID:DJ_PAPA_BEAR
Steam ID:RobotSnake
Mii code:4892-7640-7746-5537


 

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