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Cool Story, Bro: knutaf's Booty

Amongst the waves of skater/gangster hybrid freaks that stalk the asphalt plains of the Bear Flag Republic state university system, our hero, HandsomeBeast, trudged along under the weight of a thousand books and a million pieces of loose leaf paper. He and thousands of others had somehow been tricked into trading their green linen currency in return for indentured servitude and subjugation to harsh judgement. Our hero had been seeking the magic scroll, Batch O�Lore�s De Grie, which is said to improve one�s wealth tenfold.

Sadly, after 6 months, he seemed to have only reached the 1/8th mark of the path on the map which the village elder�s had passed on to him. His back muscles contracted, his eyes were shot with blood, and his synapses fried as he wrote thousands of seals and decrypted hundreds of archives. It didn�t help that he had to drown out the clamor of dozens of vagrants and vagabonds with gallons of shoegaze and wutang.

Then, one day, a message arrived in his lightning-powered stone�

�Have you played �The World Ends With You�?�

This �knutaf� was one of his correspondents from the information trading post De Structoid, an excellent source of information regarding lightning-powered devices used in recreation. knutaf offered to send a cartridge of metal and lightning for our hero to play. Needless to say, HandsomeBeast became very excited for he couldn�t find this particular cartridge near his abode. This knutaf misjudged his own strength, however, for when he threw the cartridge from his kingdom in the Sea of Attle, he applied enough velocity for it to orbit the earth for days before it reached HandsomeBeast�s cottage in the holy lands of Saint Bernard. All was forgiven, though, as it arrived unscathed by the blistering speed at which it was thrown days later.

I�ve put about an hour into the game already, and it�s pretty darn good! Boba Fett agrees with this sentiment whole heartedly.

Thanks a bunch knutaf! I can�t type out the happiness I feel when I know that a friend thousands of miles away sent me a game out of the kindness of his heart! (I want to send you a game now, but all I have are Wii and DS games that you might not take an interest in� We should talk about that! ;))
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About HandsomeBeastone of us since 6:44 PM on 07.14.2010

I can't resist an oppurtunity to write about myself. I'm a fungi and I don't like to party. I prefer a cool damp place to chill in cuz I'm cool and damp. You can find me just vegetating in my house which is actually my parents' house. Having no income other than government reparation checks, I figured crashing with my old man and old lady will help alleviate the pressures of their life as they near twilight. I never get out and I don't plan on doing so in the near future. I thought this place could use some good looking me grace the c-blogs, having spent the last decade or so modeling for big corporations pro bono. I actually discovered Destructoid through reccomendations from one of my many fans.

If you can see my recently posted header, I'm a 69 years old Polynesian man living vicariously through the internet. After retiring from the drug game, I decided to lay low and assume a more humble lifestyle as to avoid cops. As a result, I came across this cave where nuclear scientists created an electronic tennis game from an oscilloscope. I've secretly followed the world of video games ever since then.

I didn't actually play any vidja games with my hands until 1997, having been imprisoned since the '40s by the U.S. government for stumbling onto their nuclear science project all those years ago. It was a Super Nintendo, and I played Super Mario World until the cartridge would bleed. To cut it some slack, I also played Super Mario All-Stars, Pinocchio, Super Street Fighter II, Extra Innings, and Donkey Kong Country 2.

I progressively continued playing Nintendo stuff because the world of war and corrupt state prison had made me a peaceful man, and I did not favor the more mature, violent alternative systems. Fast-forward to 2007 when I discovered Destructoid after the Nintendo forums were shut down. I've been watching you closely and have come to care for your community of intelligents and rogue thugs, so I decided to share my story with all of you- something I've never shared with a member of the animal kingdom with the ability to talk.

Hope I see you around, and you comment on my stuff, cuz it's like crack to me when I read somebody's input on my ramblings ;(
Steam ID:RobotSnake
Mii code:4892-7640-7746-5537


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