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C-Blog Interviews: HandsomeBeast

For some references, please visit HandsomeBeast's profile.

How did you get into blogging, and why here?

The short version is that I'm a narcissist, and the thought of people
willingly reading my typed words makes blood engorge all the erectile
tissue in my body. The slightly longer version is that I initially
started doing internet video game discussion on the Nintendo forums
back in a crazy time called the mid-00's, but said forums were tossed
out when Nintendo did a redesign of their website to coincide with the
release of the Wii. Without an internet home, I started a forum
account on Destructoid after the site was mentioned on Attack of the
Show back in early 2007, then I went on a three-year hiatus because of
parole violations. My activity picked back up in 2009, and I started a
C-Blog because I saw the community actually read new people's stuff,
so that was a cool feeling to know people are actually going to read
your work if you put in enough effort, regardless of your status in
the community. Aaaand that's my life!

How did you get your name and avatar?

There was a time even crazier than the mid-00's called the late-90's.
When people weren't busy discussing the latest, ground-breaking
episode of Spongebob Squarepants or Y2K themed episode of a show, they
indulged in a pleasure describable by only one word: Smackdown.
On Smackdown, there was a man going by the stage name Chris
Jericho. One of his (many) nicknames was Sexy Beast, and I
thought it was hilarious, so I stole it and made it my middle school
nickname. I guess a lot of people liked it too because every site on
the internet already had a Sexy Beast on it. So I just changed
Sexy to the much more classy Handsome that has
captivated the nation. My avatar is a lame painting I did in art
class. It's twelve Super Mario hats, and each is a color of the color
cycle. Riveting.

If you could call a country your home, what country would it be?

The Bear Flag Republic. But I think it technically only existed for
two weeks in 1846 or something.

Favorite game?

Probably Tag or Hide-N-Go Seek. I would play that a lot as a k- what?
You meant video game? Oh. Super Mario World.

Favorite Movie Line

"I grab a dog. I choke him and I kick the shit out of him. All day
long got my foot up a dog's ass. Just bang, bang, bang up his ass.
That's my pleasure."
-Ice Cube's dad in Friday

What would you say is your most handsome feature?

Well, it's obviously my face, but I'm more than just a pretty face. I
also have great arms, broad shoulders, and the obligatory-nice-butt.

How was prison?

Lucky for me, I was in juvie for most of my childhood, improving my
physique and fighting skills, so prison was a cake walk. I had so much
gay sex. I had second degree burns on my Johnson, and that wasn't just
from the gonorrhea!

Were the 50's interesting?

When I wasn't in prison or hanging out with Ron Howard and Henry
Winkler, the 50's were pretty dumb. Things didn't get interesting
until the 80's came around.

If you could punch anyone here on dtoid who would it be and why?

I'd love to punch everyone here for being so much cooler than me, but
first on my list would obviously be
rexwolf2. He's been
cruisin' for a bruisin' and it's time he received his comeuppance.

If you could hug anyone on dtoid who would it be and why?

I'd love to hug everyone here because everybody is so cool, but if it
could only be one, it'd be
knutaf. He's my
hero. It's also a shame he's married...

Who else here looks different in your head from what they really look like?

I was actually thinking about putting up my second blog about this
earlier, but this will do for now: Elsa, Beyamor,
LawofThermalDynamics, Funktastic, and Kraid. All these people came out
different from what I imagined. I also have some unconfirmed theories
on CelicaCrazed and rexwolf2, (although to be honest, it's just that I
imagine the former as a brunette version of the latter for some

When I grow up, I want to be....

Just like anybody on this site (except for the Canadians... just
kidding, maybe the Canadians too...)

Now that I'm old I can finally...

Buy cigars and look classy as heck.

So the Last Airbender was a huge dump, anything else you were
disappointed by in the last year?

Yeah. I found out I missed out on a $5000 grant because of a
racketeering Vietnamese student. I also finally got an Xbox 360, but
it's the lackluster 4 GB version. (Well, at least I didn't pay the
money for it!). That's about it.

If maybe I told you that you might just have one day left to live what
would you do?

I wouldn't believe you and carry on with my normal business. You'd
find me slumped over in my chair at midnight as Jimmy Fallon's antics
are blazing on the television screen.

Do you have a Prized Possession? (Note: Family and Loved Ones Do Not Count)

My Super Nintendo. It's the only love I have that's never betrayed me.

Quick! Which wire do you cut? Red of Blue? C'mon, We don't have time man!

Well, I heard that if you cut red, you're dead. Cut green, you're
keen... But I've also heard yellow, you're one mellow fellow... Wait
aren't you supposed to cut the ground wire first? Is there a gray or
brown wi- *bomb goes off because of very poor decision making*

I don't want to ask another question, you ask one...also answer it.

What kind of question should I ask?

A funny one.
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Community Interviews   
CelicaCrazed   1
AvianFlame   1
rexwolf2   1
knutaf   1
Fame Designer   1
Kaggen   1
Stephen Beirne   1
Handy   1
Beyamor   1
Nic128   1
Occams   1
Elsa   1
SuperMonk4Ever   1
Kraid   1
Funktastic   1



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About Community Interviewsone of us since 7:24 PM on 08.20.2010

This blog is currently under the control of community punching-bag, Chris Moyse! (OrochiLeona)

Current interviews in this series can be easily accessed by consulting this list.

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This blog was formerly administrated and curated by LawOfThermalDynamics.
The banner was created by Falsenipple.

You can find a list of the old interviews here.

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This blog is about interviewing members of the Destructoid community. If you think someone deserves to be interviewed, please contact either us via a PM to this account, or our private ones, if you feel so inclined.

The opportunity to be interviewed does not necessarily depend on amount of time spent here, number of published articles, etc. - only if our interviewer or a separate nominee thinks you have something really interesting to say.

So, if you think someone else out there could use a little community shine, speak up and let us know! They could very well be the next victim interviewee!